Sofia Warren<\/a>, who unfortunately couldn\u2019t join our judging panel but did review all the entries and send us her top ten. Sofia\u2019s drawing is set in a bedroom, where a woman is in bed and on her smart phone. Under her bed is a monster, who\u2019s leaning back on his elbows and saying something to the woman.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\nSofia\u2019s original caption was, <\/span>\u201c\u201cI know you have a lot of other fears fighting for your attention, but I\u2019m working pretty hard here and it\u2019d be nice if you could acknowledge that.\u201d<\/i><\/b> That\u2019s long but there\u2019s not a wasted word, and it\u2019s funny.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\nSeveral of you made a similar joke:<\/span><\/p>\n\n- \u201cI can\u2019t compete with cheerful women describing murder.\u201d<\/i><\/b>\u00a0<\/span><\/li>\n
- \u201cI feel like you\u2019re cheating on me with other fears.\u201d<\/i><\/b><\/li>\n
- \u201cI miss being the scariest thing in your life.\u201d<\/i><\/b><\/li>\n
- \u201cI can\u2019t compete with doom scrolling.\u201d<\/i><\/b><\/li>\n<\/ul>\n
This entry also suggests, in a nicely ironic way, that phones are just as scary as monsters: <\/span>\u201cYou\u2019ll give yourself nightmares.\u201d<\/i><\/b><\/p>\nSome of my fellow judges thought these next two jokes were essentially the same:\u00a0<\/span><\/i><\/b><\/p>\n\n- \u201cI should be the thing keeping you awake.\u201d<\/i><\/b><\/li>\n
- \u201cHey, I\u2019m supposed to be keeping <\/i><\/b>you<\/i><\/b> up.\u201d<\/i><\/b><\/li>\n<\/ul>\n
They\u2019re not. In the first caption, the monster is arguing that he, as opposed to the phone, should be keeping the woman up. In the second, he\u2019s complaining that the woman is keeping him from getting a good night\u2019s rest. Both captions are excellent but in different ways, and those differences are significant.<\/span><\/p>\nHere are some more entries that have the monster complaining that he can\u2019t get to sleep:<\/span><\/i><\/b><\/p>\n\n- \u201cWe need to talk about your sleep schedule.\u201d<\/i><\/b><\/li>\n
- \u201cSome of us have to work in the evening.\u201d<\/i><\/b><\/li>\n
- \u201cDo you mind? I\u2019m trying to sleep.\u201d<\/i><\/b><\/li>\n<\/ul>\n
Kudos to fellow judge Joel Mishon, who rescued the following entry from oblivion and convinced us all that it\u2019s really good: <\/span>\u201cIs that Jill? Put it on speaker. Hi, Jill!\u201d<\/i><\/b> We love the idea that the monster is not a terrifying presence but, in Trevor Hoey\u2019s words, \u201cjust one of the girls.\u201d I just wish it read, \u201cPut <\/span>her<\/span><\/i> on speaker,\u201d but it still works.<\/span><\/p>\nThe next several entries suggest that the monster is more needy than scary:<\/span><\/i><\/b><\/p>\n\n- \u201cI suppose I could just follow you on Instagram.\u201d<\/i><\/b><\/li>\n
- \u201cHave you even told your family about me?\u201d<\/i><\/b><\/li>\n
- \u201cWhy aren\u2019t you answering my texts?\u201d<\/i><\/b><\/li>\n
- \u201cDid you get my friend request yet?\u201d<\/i><\/b><\/li>\n
- \u201cI had a bad dream.\u201d<\/i><\/b><\/li>\n<\/ul>\n
Here\u2019s the month\u2019s best sex joke, which suggests the woman wants to make a beast with two backs: <\/span>\u201cI\u2019m sorry. I know you\u2019re lonely but we crossed a line last time.\u201d<\/i><\/b> So perverse, and so, so funny.<\/span><\/p>\nThis next entry has the monster wanting to get into bed with the woman, but more for companionship than sex: <\/span>\u201cEven if I keep my tail on the floor?\u201d<\/i><\/b><\/p>\nThese next captions suggest the woman is texting with, or about to text, a guy she likes:<\/span><\/i><\/b><\/p>\n\n- \u201cIf he\u2019s not texting you back, he\u2019s the real monster.\u201d<\/i><\/b><\/li>\n
- \u201cWait a day before texting him.\u201d<\/i><\/b><\/li>\n
- \u201cIf he ghosts you, I\u2019ll eat him.\u201d<\/i><\/b><\/li>\n<\/ul>\n
I appreciate the way the first two captions have the monster dispensing dating advice, but I really like the implied violence of the third entry. So does my youngest daughter.<\/span><\/p>\nThese entries explain why the monster is in the woman\u2019s bedroom:<\/span><\/i><\/b><\/p>\n\n- \u201cYour phone summons me when your screen time exceeds 18 hours per day.\u201d<\/i><\/b><\/li>\n
- \u201cBecause you just accepted the terms and conditions.\u201d<\/i><\/b><\/li>\n
- \u201cYour mom hired me to limit your screen time.\u201d<\/i><\/b><\/li>\n<\/ul>\n
These next four entries allude to the well-documented and addictive dangers of texting in bed:\u00a0\u00a0<\/span><\/i><\/b><\/p>\n\n- \u201cI live under a bed and even I think your screen time is unhealthy.\u201d<\/i><\/b><\/li>\n
- \u201cYou don\u2019t even check under the bed anymore.\u201d<\/i><\/b><\/li>\n
- \u201cScreen time before bed is the real monster.\u201d<\/i><\/b><\/li>\n
- \u201cI came to possess you. Oops, I\u2019m too late.\u201d<\/i><\/b><\/li>\n
- \u201cI hate being the lesser evil.\u201d<\/i><\/b><\/li>\n<\/ul>\n
That fourth caption is clever, but I hate the word \u201coops.\u201d It\u2019s too cute. I can\u2019t stand cute humor.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\nThis next entry comes out of left field, something we judges all appreciate, and suggests the monster is speaking as an authority on what\u2019s frightening: <\/span>\u201cYou\u2019d be scarier with it under your chin.\u201d<\/i><\/b><\/p>\nAnother unexpected entry suggests the woman is taking a picture of the monster: <\/span>\u201cI\u2019m not sure I have a good side.\u201d<\/i><\/b><\/p>\nThe next three entries all refer to specific mobile phone features:\u00a0<\/span><\/i><\/b><\/p>\n\n- \u201cHave they made a Cthulhu emoji yet?\u201d<\/i><\/b><\/li>\n
- \u201cI wish you\u2019d turn off Do Not Disturb.\u201d\u00a0<\/i><\/b><\/li>\n
- \u201cCan you at least use dark mode?\u201d<\/i><\/b><\/li>\n<\/ul>\n
I got the H.P. Lovecraft reference in that first caption, but I had never before heard of \u201cdark mode,\u201d and Bob Mankoff mocked me for my ignorance.<\/span><\/p>\nWhen my sister\u2019s boyfriend (now husband) first visited my parents\u2019 home in 1980 and saw that they had rotary phones and a knob-operated black-and-white TV, he said: \u201cIt\u2019s like living with the Amish.\u201d That\u2019s part of the reason why I really like this entry: <\/span>\u201cMaybe I should try terrifying the Amish.\u201d<\/i><\/b><\/p>\nThe next caption is clever, but it doesn\u2019t actually make sense because people don\u2019t check their sleep scores until they wake up in the morning: <\/span>\u201cNice sleep score. It would be a shame if something happened to it.\u201d<\/i><\/b><\/p>\nThese two captions imply that the woman and the monster under her bed have been together for a long time:<\/span><\/i><\/b><\/p>\n\n- \u201cTwenty years together and not once have you asked me whether I\u2019m comfortable.\u201d<\/i><\/b><\/li>\n
- \u201cThis was easier when you were six.\u201d<\/i><\/b><\/li>\n<\/ul>\n
This final caption has the monster responding to a question from the woman: <\/span>\u201cNo, I haven\u2019t seen your charger.\u201d<\/i><\/b><\/p>\nCongratulations to WAYNE KLINE, who won the contest with his joke about true-crime podcasts: <\/span>\u201cI can\u2019t compete with cheerful women describing murder.\u201d<\/i><\/b> The five runners-up are:<\/span><\/i><\/b><\/p>\n\n- \u201cI\u2019m sorry. I know you\u2019re lonely but we crossed a line last time.\u201d<\/i><\/b> MICHAEL HOLMES<\/span><\/li>\n
- \u201cI should be the thing keeping you awake.\u201d<\/i><\/b> KYAL SHEPARD<\/span><\/li>\n
- \u201cHey, I\u2019m supposed to be keeping <\/i><\/b>you<\/i><\/b> up.\u201d<\/i><\/b> WAYNE KLINE (<\/span>now that Wayne has won $600 in this contest, he must report his winnings to the IRS and complete Form W-2G<\/span>)<\/span><\/li>\n
- \u201cIs that Jill? Put it on speaker. Hi, Jill!\u201d<\/i><\/b> JOSEPH SILLS<\/span><\/li>\n
- \u201cIf he ghosts you, I\u2019ll eat him.\u201d<\/i><\/b> JEFFREY LAUTIN<\/span><\/li>\n<\/ul>\n
Watch the Judging Process<\/h3>\n
If you’re interested in how we made our selections we recorded the process and you can find it below<\/p>\n
![\"\"](\"https:\/\/www.cartoonstock.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/03\/Sofia_Lo_Res.jpg\")
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