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Last month\u2019s contest featured a captionless drawing by <\/span>New Yorker<\/span><\/i> cartoonist <\/span>Lindsey Budde<\/b>, who helped judge the entries. Her work is great, and you can see more of it at CartoonStock and on her website: lindseybudde.com.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n Lindsey\u2019s drawing is set in the shallow end of a swimming pool, where two mothers are standing in waist deep water and holding their babies. The boy baby (on the left) is smiling and saying something to the girl baby, who looks surprised if not shocked by what she\u2019s hearing.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n Like more than 70% of the entries, Lindsey\u2019s original caption was scatological:\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n \u201cRumor has it that you never have to stop peeing in here.\u201d<\/span><\/i> That\u2019s better than many similar entries, including this pun: <\/span>\u201cLet\u2019s get this potty started.\u201d<\/i><\/b> I hated that joke\u2014it exemplifies the problem with cute humor\u2014but I was in the minority. Bob insisted it was funny, and Trevor thought it would make a great children\u2019s birthday card. I\u2019ve never felt so alone.<\/span><\/p>\n Here\u2019s my favorite scatological entry: <\/span>\u201cYou come to appreciate the chlorine.\u201d<\/i><\/b> That\u2019s as subtle, and therefore as good, as such jokes get.<\/span><\/p>\n I\u2019ll move on to another category of captions soon but before I do, here are four more pee jokes:<\/span><\/b><\/p>\n That last entry would be better if \u201cwanna\u201d were replaced with the words \u201cwant to.\u201d I don\u2019t like colloquialisms. They\u2019re annoying, even (or especially) when coming from the mouths of babes.<\/span><\/p>\n The final pee joke I\u2019ll highlight is the month\u2019s best pun: <\/span>\u201cEveryone leaves this class relieved.\u201d<\/i><\/b> Here are the runners-up:<\/span><\/b><\/p>\n This next set of cations explain why the girl baby looks so alarmed:<\/span><\/b><\/p>\n That last caption buries the punchline, which is \u201cJaws.\u201d Always put the punchline at the end, like this: <\/span>\u201cAnd that, in a nutshell, is the plot of \u2018Jaws.\u2019\u201d<\/span><\/i><\/p>\n The next two captions suggest that the boy baby is trying to upset not the girl but the mothers:<\/span><\/b><\/p>\n I like the implication that the boy baby is a malicious little shit.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n The next three entries explain why the wide-eyed mothers are focused not on their babies but on something in the distance:<\/span><\/b><\/p>\n I like this next entry not only because it\u2019s dark\u2014<\/span>\u201cYou ate 28 minutes ago? Nice knowing you.\u201d<\/i><\/b>\u2014but because it reminded me of a great collaboration between <\/span>New Yorker<\/span><\/i> cartoonist Kamraan Hafeez and Vincent Coca, who co-hosts the Caption Contest Podcast:<\/span>\u00a0 Here are two fine examples of turning a common statement into a fitting caption:<\/span><\/b><\/p>\n This caption suggests the boy baby gets annoyed when he should be grateful: <\/span>\u201cI hate when parents hover.\u201d<\/i><\/b><\/p>\n This entry comes out of left field but works really well: <\/span>\u201cLook. The man in the highchair has a pacifier that whistles.\u201d<\/i><\/b><\/p>\n Bob questioned this next caption\u2014<\/span>\u201cThe last time I raced, I beat fifty million swimmers.\u201d<\/i><\/b>\u2014on the grounds that a sperm does not by itself become a baby, so the boy baby could never claim that he swam with millions of other sperm. That\u2019s nitpicking. Speaking of which, I know <\/span>New Yorker<\/span><\/i> cartoonist Robert Leighton will say I misspelled that word.<\/span><\/p>\n Finally, here\u2019s a caption that acknowledges just how scary swimming lessons can be for very young children: <\/span>\u201cMy mom writes for \u2018How to Terrify a Baby\u2019 magazine.\u201d<\/i><\/b><\/p>\n Congratulations to PATTI HOLLAND, who submitted the winning caption: <\/span>\u201cIf this were safe, there wouldn\u2019t be a class.\u201d\u00a0<\/i><\/b><\/p>\n The five runners-up are:<\/span><\/i><\/b><\/p>\n KATHY WROBEL<\/span><\/p>\n KATHY WROBEL<\/span><\/p>\n KARI WOODWARD<\/span>\u00a0<\/i><\/b><\/p>\n ELIZABTH LAWLER<\/span>\u00a0<\/i><\/b><\/p>\n HENRY SAMPSON<\/span><\/p>\n I want to say something about three of the finalists.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n First, <\/span>Kathy Wrobel<\/b> is on an incredible winning streak. Not only did she make the finalists\u2019 round with two captions in <\/span>this<\/span><\/i> contest; she achieved the same remarkable feat in the <\/span>last<\/span><\/i> contest.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n Second, <\/span>Beth Lawler<\/b> co-hosts the Cartoon Caption Podcast and runs a business that sells original <\/span>New Yorker<\/span><\/i> cartoons. It\u2019s called Curated Cartoons, and you should check out her website: <\/span>www.curatedcartoons.com<\/span><\/a>\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n Finally, I want to apologize to <\/span>Henry Sampson<\/b>, who came up with the pun I hated. Instead of criticizing him for submitting it, I should be excoriating my fellow judges for insisting it be selected as a finalist. Furthermore, I think Mr. Sampson deserves credit for making it to the finalists\u2019 round in <\/span>New Yorker<\/span><\/i> Caption Contest No. 963, which featured Mick Stevens\u2019s drawing of a clown sitting behind a desk in the reception area of an office and addressing a man who\u2019s come in for a meeting. Mr. Sampson\u2019s caption was, <\/span>\u201cThe boss has an irrational fear of secretaries.\u201d<\/span><\/i> There\u2019s a chance, of course, that Henry Sampson does not deserve credit for that caption because he was at the time identified as <\/span>Hank<\/span><\/i> Sampson, but I\u2019m guessing it\u2019s the same guy.<\/span><\/p>\n If you want to see how we made our selections, we recorded the process and posted it on our YouTube channel<\/a> (Subscribe!).<\/span><\/p>\n\n
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