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Last month\u2019s contest, which elicited more than 500 entries, featured a drawing by <\/span>New Yorker<\/span><\/i> cartoonist Kaamran Hafeez, who joined our judges\u2019 panel to help choose the winning entry and five runners-up. I was out of town when the judging happened, but prior to leaving I selected my top ten entries and sent them along to Trevor Hoey.\u00a0\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n Kaamran\u2019s drawing is set in a science lab, where a male scientist in a white lab coat and his female colleague are looking at an ape who\u2019s sitting on a stool and typing on what appears to be a smartphone or tablet. The male scientist is speaking.<\/span><\/p>\n Kaamran\u2019s original caption was a critique of social media: <\/span>\u201cWe’ll have to take the phone away\u2014he’s actually getting stupider.\u201d<\/span><\/i><\/p>\n Several of you submitted similar critiques:<\/span><\/b><\/p>\n This entry alludes to the addictive nature of smartphones: <\/span>\u201cThe experiment ended Tuesday.\u201d<\/i><\/b><\/p>\n This next caption cleverly notes that constant scrolling can replace real-life friendships, disrupt sleep, and trigger unhealthy comparisons with other people\u2019s highlight reels: <\/span>\u201cThe experiment\u2019s working. He\u2019s miserable.\u201d<\/i><\/b><\/p>\n When captive primates get bored, stressed, or angry they sometimes throw their feces, which is often the only thing they can grab, so I wasn\u2019t surprised to see a lot of scatological entries:<\/span><\/b><\/p>\n That fourth entry is also the month\u2019s best pun. And like that pun, this next caption focuses on a minor detail in the drawing that most entrants overlooked: <\/span>\u201cOh my God, you got him to sit on a stool.\u201d<\/i><\/b><\/p>\n Here\u2019s the month\u2019s second-best pun: <\/span>\u201cHe\u2019s gathering data for us. He\u2019s a survey monkey.\u201d<\/i><\/b><\/p>\n I didn\u2019t expect many sex jokes, but we got a couple good ones related to the prevalence of online pornography:<\/span><\/i><\/b><\/p>\n That second caption is a clever reference to the infinite monkey theorem, which posits that a monkey hitting keys on a typewriter for an infinite amount of time will type the entire works of Shakespeare. It would be so much better, though, if the person who submitted it had replaced the word \u201cuntil\u201d with the word \u201cwhen,\u201d which suggests that the ape stopped thinking about Shakespeare the minute he saw a naked body.<\/span><\/p>\n Here\u2019s the second-best reference to the infinite monkey theorem: <\/span>\u201cNo Shakespeare yet, but he\u2019s got his own Substack.\u201d<\/i><\/b><\/p>\n The next two entries highlight the importance of choosing just the right word(s):<\/span><\/i><\/b><\/p>\n At first glance, they appear to be the exact same joke, and the first version may even seem superior because it\u2019s shorter. But the second version is much better. It suggests that the ape is conducting his own studies because, like the current Secretary of Health and Human Services, he doesn\u2019t trust and has therefore rejected mainstream science. So while the first caption is good, the second is topical and a sharply critical comment on the disturbing trend to reject scientific experts and their methods and conclusions. It also suggests that Robert F. Kennedy, Jr. looks like an ape, which he does.\u00a0\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n Speaking of looks, several of you noted that the ape bears an uncanny resemblance to the scientist:<\/span><\/i><\/b><\/p>\n The next two entries have the scientist addressing not his assistant but the ape:\u00a0<\/span><\/b><\/p>\n That second entry will resonate with parents whose children are glued to their screens. So will this entry: <\/span>\u201cIt\u2019s already affecting his posture.\u201d<\/i><\/b><\/p>\n Finding a mate is a personal need and not a goal of scientific testing, but I still liked this reference to dating sites: <\/span>\u201cHe prefers to find his own mate.\u201d<\/i><\/b><\/p>\n Here\u2019s the month\u2019s best metaphor: <\/span>\u201cAt last, a cage he won\u2019t escape.\u201d<\/i><\/b><\/p>\n And here\u2019s the best attempt at turning a common phrase into a fitting caption: <\/span>\u201cMonkey see, monkey post.\u201d<\/i><\/b><\/p>\n Someone else submitted the common phrase without changing a word: <\/span>\u201cMonkey see, monkey do.\u201d<\/i><\/b> And the next two captions make essentially the same joke:<\/span><\/i><\/b><\/p>\n This is one of the few captions that focuses the scientist\u2019s assistant: <\/span>\u201cI don\u2019t want to alarm you, but he\u2019s applying for your position.\u201d<\/i><\/b><\/p>\n Here\u2019s an example of running a perfectly good joke by explaining it: <\/span>\u201cOr he may think the mirror is a smart phone and he\u2019s trying to swipe to the next image.\u201d<\/i><\/b> The second clause is completely unnecessary.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n Here\u2019s a nice role-reversal caption: <\/span>\u201cHe said to wait here until he assigns us to a treatment group.\u201d<\/i><\/b><\/p>\n We don\u2019t usually like meta jokes, but given the fact that you all submit your entries online we thought this was OK: <\/span>\u201cHe\u2019s surprisingly good at caption contests.\u201d<\/i><\/b><\/p>\n Here was the month\u2019s best Darwin joke:<\/span> \u201cIf he\u2019s so evolved, why isn\u2019t he running the latest operating system?\u201d<\/i><\/b><\/p>\n Most everyone who has visited a website has clicked a box to confirm that they read a long disclaimer and\/or contractual provision they did not even scan. These two entries acknowledge that fact:\u00a0<\/span><\/b><\/p>\n I\u2019ll end this month\u2019s commentary with four decent entries that don\u2019t fit neatly into any category:<\/span><\/b><\/p>\n Congratulations to JOHN KONNO, who won the contest (and $563.24) with, <\/span>\u201cHe says he\u2019s doing his own research.\u201d<\/i><\/b> The runners-up are:<\/span><\/b><\/p>\n The winner and finalists should be familiar to anyone who follows the <\/span>New Yorker<\/span><\/i> and\/or CartoonStock caption contests. And one of them, Wayne Kline, achieved something unprecedented this month by making it to the finalists\u2019 round <\/span>three<\/span><\/i> times (and getting $337.92 in the process). That\u2019s incredible.<\/span><\/p>\n If you who want to see how Bob, Trevor, Joel and Kaamran made their selections, they recorded the process and posted it on our YouTube channel.<\/a><\/span><\/p>\n\n
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