{"id":1870,"date":"2019-02-20T05:15:10","date_gmt":"2019-02-20T10:15:10","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/more.cartooncollections.com\/?p=1870"},"modified":"2020-08-19T09:43:22","modified_gmt":"2020-08-19T13:43:22","slug":"square-wheels-caption-contest-commentary-with-lawrence-wood","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.cartoonstock.com\/blog\/square-wheels-caption-contest-commentary-with-lawrence-wood\/","title":{"rendered":"\u201cSquare Wheels\u201d Caption Contest Commentary with Lawrence Wood"},"content":{"rendered":"<p><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"alignright wp-image-644\" src=\"\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/02\/Math-CC.jpg\" alt=\"Cartoon Caption Contest - Ben Schwartz\" width=\"300\" height=\"233\" srcset=\"https:\/\/www.cartoonstock.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/02\/Math-CC.jpg 800w, https:\/\/www.cartoonstock.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/02\/Math-CC-300x233.jpg 300w, https:\/\/www.cartoonstock.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/02\/Math-CC-768x597.jpg 768w\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 300px) 100vw, 300px\" \/>Here we have another drawing by Benjamin Schwartz. It shows a caveman proudly displaying his latest invention, a square-wheeled tricycle, to his neighbor.<\/p>\n<p>The tricycle needs round wheels. The invention of such wheels is credited, at least in cartoons, to cavemen. Initially, therefore, I came up with eight variations on a joke about a caveman who invents a tricycle but doesn\u2019t realize it\u2019s missing that archetypal example of primitive technology: the circular wheel.<\/p>\n<ul>\n<li><strong>&#8220;If you thought the wheel was impressive, take a look at this.&#8221;<\/strong><\/li>\n<li><strong>&#8220;Sure, Bob invented the wheel, but it has no practical implications.&#8221;<\/strong><\/li>\n<li><strong>&#8220;The wheel\u2019s a fine invention, but what do you do with it.&#8221;<\/strong><\/li>\n<li><strong>&#8220;I came in second, right behind that guy who invented the wheel.&#8221;<\/strong><\/li>\n<li><strong>&#8220;And Ted thinks he\u2019s so great because he invented the wheel.&#8221;<\/strong><\/li>\n<li><strong>&#8220;Marge tells me you\u2019re working on something called a wheel?&#8221;<\/strong><\/li>\n<li><strong>&#8220;So, that\u2019s my latest invention. What\u2019s this I hear about you and a wheel?&#8221;<\/strong><\/li>\n<li><strong>&#8220;I hear you\u2019re an inventor, too. Tell me about this so-called wheel.&#8221;<\/strong><\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p>After beating that joke to death I moved in a slightly different direction. I thought about having the inventor of the tricycle explain his creative process by referencing circular wheels without realizing they are exactly what his invention needs: <b>\u201cI was just spinning my wheels and then, Eureka!\u201d<\/b><\/p>\n<p>Moving in still another direction, but still only slightly, I considered a caption that would show that the cavemen understood that his invention still needed work:<\/p>\n<ul>\n<li><b>\u201cIt\u2019s an early model.\u201d<\/b><\/li>\n<li><b>\u201cIt\u2019s just a prototype.\u201d<\/b><\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p>Then I considered the possibility that the caveman knew his prototype needed work, but did not understand what component needed improvement: <b>\u201cI still need to work on the handlebars.\u201d<\/b><\/p>\n<p>Than I thought about how much energy it would take to propel a tricycle with square wheels:<\/p>\n<ul>\n<li><b>\u201cIt\u2019s a hell of a workout.\u201d<\/b><\/li>\n<li><b>\u201cIt really works the calves.\u201d<\/b><\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p>But maybe the caveman intentionally invented a tricycle that didn\u2019t move. That possibility led to, <b>\u201cIt\u2019s a stationary bike.\u201d<\/b><\/p>\n<p>I was bothered by the fact that none of my captions addressed the fact that the caveman\u2019s invention is a tricycle as opposed to a bicycle. I know that Schwartz drew a tricycle because his cartoon is part of an exhibit at the National Museum of Mathematics, where a top attraction is a square-wheeled tricycle, but I still thought I should at least try for a tricycle-specific caption. So I tried, but I failed.<\/p>\n<p>Maybe that doesn\u2019t matter, because very few of the nearly 2,700 captions you submitted addressed the fact that the invention was a three- as opposed to a two-wheeler. And the ones that did address this fact were puns\u2014plays on the word tricycle\u2014that didn\u2019t work as well as the more conceptual captions.<\/p>\n<p>Like I did, many of you made a joke about a caveman who realizes his invention needs work but focuses his attention on the wrong feature. The best of these included, <b>\u201cI know, I know\u2014it needs a bell,\u201d<\/b> and <b>\u201cThe seat needs more padding.\u201d <\/b><\/p>\n<p>In other entries, the caveman acknowledges that his invention needs work without suggesting specific improvements:<\/p>\n<ul>\n<li><strong>\u201cI\u2019m thinking of reinventing it.\u201d<\/strong><\/li>\n<li><strong>\u201cIt\u2019s a bit primitive.\u201d<\/strong><\/li>\n<li><strong>\u201cIt\u2019s just a prototype.\u201d<\/strong><\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p>I\u2019m partial to that last caption because it\u2019s identical to one of mine.<\/p>\n<p>Several of you thought of a terrific joke I never considered and submitted captions highlighting the caveman\u2019s proud refusal to cut corners, an admirable trait in most situations, but not when it results in square wheels. Most of these captions, however, were too long. \u00a0<b>\u201cWe didn\u2019t cut any corners on this model,\u201d<\/b> is good, but <b>\u201cI didn\u2019t cut any corners\u201d <\/b>is better. Better still is, <b>\u201cI never cut corners.\u201d<\/b> Not only is it two syllables shorter than its closest competition; it highlights the inventor\u2019s misplaced pride in his commitment to avoiding shortcuts.<\/p>\n<p>There were many stationary bike jokes but the best, submitted by a few different entrants, was, <b>\u201cIt\u2019s a stationary bike.\u201d<\/b> Do I prefer that to similar entries because it\u2019s identical to one of my own captions? Maybe, but that\u2019s not the only reason. It\u2019s punchy and omits the superfluous words I found in so many versions of the same joke.<\/p>\n<p>Closely related to the \u201cstationary bike\u201d captions were jokes about exercising on such a bike, such as, <b>\u201cIn theory, this could increase life expectancy to 35 years.\u201d<\/b> I especially like that reference to our prehistoric ancestors\u2019 short life spans, but why begin with the words \u201cin theory?\u201d They add nothing.<\/p>\n<p>Another caption acknowledged that most people who purchase exercise bikes never use them: <b>\u201cSquare, round\u2014it doesn\u2019t matter. Three months after people buy it, it goes in the attic.\u201d <\/b>That\u2019s too long but I enjoyed it, in part because I have an exercise bike collecting dust in the corner of my basement.<\/p>\n<p>I also enjoyed, <b>\u201cI\u2019ve gone \u2019round and \u2019round trying to figure out how to improve it,\u201d<\/b> and not just because it\u2019s conceptually similar to the \u201cspinning my wheels\u201d caption I thought of.<\/p>\n<p>Some truly clever captions were premised on the idea that the caveman was not a failed inventor but a mischievous prankster playing the long game. \u00a0The best was, <b>\u201cJust having a little fun with future anthropologists.\u201d <\/b>Compare that to, <b>\u201cI know, but in 50,000 years, archaeologists are going to find this, and I\u2019m imagining the looks on their faces.\u201d <\/b>Both captions are going after the same joke, but the second explains too much. (The second caption enjoys only one advantage over the first: it refers not to anthropologists but to archaeologists, who focus on analyzing material remains, and therefore makes a little more sense.)<\/p>\n<p>In several entries, the caveman extolls what he sees as the benefits of a square-wheeled tricycle. The best examples include, <b>\u201cIt can take you anywhere you already are,\u201d \u201cOn the other hand, no one will steal it,\u201d<\/b> and <b>\u201cIt\u2019s a vast improvement over the triangle!\u201d<\/b> That last caption is clever, but why does it end with an exclamation point? Unless the person speaking is obviously yelling\u2014e.g., \u201cI hate exclamation points!\u201d\u2014understated is always better.<\/p>\n<p>Several of you imagined that the caveman who\u2019s speaking is not the inventor. One of you made him helpful (<b>\u201cOkay, here\u2019s a crazy thought . . .\u201d<\/b>), while one of you made him part of the problem (<b>\u201cMarketing tweaked your design\u201d<\/b>). That last caption will resonate with any creative person who\u2019s had to stand by helplessly and watch others try to make his work more marketable.<\/p>\n<p>That\u2019s all for this week. If I had to pick a winner\u2014the cream of a very good crop\u2014I\u2019d choose, <b>\u201cI never cut corners.\u201d<\/b><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Here we have another drawing by Benjamin Schwartz. It shows a caveman proudly displaying his latest invention, a square-wheeled tricycle, to his neighbor. The tricycle needs round wheels. The invention of such wheels is credited, at least in cartoons, to cavemen. Initially, therefore, I came up with eight variations on a joke about a caveman&#8230; <br \/><a class=\"more-link button\" style=\"float:right;margin:10px\" href=\"https:\/\/www.cartoonstock.com\/blog\/square-wheels-caption-contest-commentary-with-lawrence-wood\/\" rel=\"nofollow\">Continue Reading&#8230;<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":11,"featured_media":475,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"_genesis_hide_title":false,"_genesis_hide_breadcrumbs":false,"_genesis_hide_singular_image":false,"_genesis_hide_footer_widgets":false,"_genesis_custom_body_class":"","_genesis_custom_post_class":"","_genesis_layout":"","footnotes":""},"categories":[39],"tags":[],"class_list":{"0":"post-1870","1":"post","2":"type-post","3":"status-publish","4":"format-standard","5":"has-post-thumbnail","7":"category-caption-contest-commentary","8":"entry"},"acf":[],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with 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