{"id":2072,"date":"2019-04-10T05:00:35","date_gmt":"2019-04-10T09:00:35","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/more.cartooncollections.com\/?p=2072"},"modified":"2020-08-19T09:43:22","modified_gmt":"2020-08-19T13:43:22","slug":"gods-comedian-caption-contest-commentary-with-lawrence-wood","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.cartoonstock.com\/blog\/gods-comedian-caption-contest-commentary-with-lawrence-wood\/","title":{"rendered":"\u201cGod&#8217;s Comedian\u201d Caption Contest Commentary with Lawrence Wood"},"content":{"rendered":"<p><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"alignright wp-image-2015\" src=\"\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/03\/Comedian-warp.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"300\" height=\"197\" srcset=\"https:\/\/www.cartoonstock.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/03\/Comedian-warp.jpg 752w, https:\/\/www.cartoonstock.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/03\/Comedian-warp-300x197.jpg 300w\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 300px) 100vw, 300px\" \/>Kim Warp has drawn a prop comedian (he has an arrow through his head) performing a stand-up routine for that toughest of audiences: God.<\/p>\n<p>Because the comedian is in heaven, I first thought of the old saying that addresses both death and comedy: <b>\u201cDying is easy. Comedy is hard.\u201d<\/b><\/p>\n<p>I then thought of captions that would explain how the performer died, and because he\u2019s a prop comic I landed on this: <b>\u201cI died on stage.\u201d<\/b><\/p>\n<p>Next I came up with variations on old jokes that would work in the context of this drawing:<\/p>\n<ul>\n<li><strong>\u201cTwo Jews are walking through the desert\u2026\u201d<\/strong><\/li>\n<li><strong>\u201cHow many atheists does it take to screw in a lightbulb?\u201d<\/strong><\/li>\n<li><strong>\u201cMy brother is so stupid he believes in more than one God.\u201d<\/strong><\/li>\n<li><strong>\u201cI said take my <i>wife<\/i>.\u201d<\/strong><\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p>Many stand-up comedians end their routines by saying, \u201cI\u2019ll be here all week.\u201d The comedian in this drawing is going to be around for eternity, so I came up with, <b>\u201cI\u2019ll be here all week, and every week after that.\u201d<\/b><\/p>\n<p>What if God was a disrespectful audience member? I liked the idea of the Almighty shouting out rude comments to a guy who\u2019s just trying to get through his act, so my next caption was, <b>\u201cOh, great, a heckler.\u201d<\/b><\/p>\n<p>God is all-powerful, and the comedian in the drawing looks like the kind of guy who would make Viagra jokes, so my final caption idea was, <b>\u201cYou\u2019re omnipotent? Take a pill\u201d<\/b>\u2014a joke that should really be followed by a rimshot.<\/p>\n<p>Now let\u2019s see what you came up with.<\/p>\n<p>Like I did, several of you thought of the fitting but perhaps too obvious, <b>\u201cDying is easy. Comedy is hard.\u201d<\/b><\/p>\n<p>You also submitted captions that explained how the comedian died, and many of your entries were far more inventive than my very basic, \u201cI died on stage.\u201d<\/p>\n<ul>\n<li><strong>\u201cI guess laughter wasn\u2019t the best medicine.\u201d<\/strong><\/li>\n<li><strong>\u201cYou mean I <i>literally<\/i> died out there?\u201d<\/strong><\/li>\n<li><strong>\u201cThis is the second time I\u2019ve died on stage today.\u201d<\/strong><\/li>\n<li><strong>\u201cI\u2019m here because some people can\u2019t take a joke.\u201d<\/strong><\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p>As someone who\u2019s often criticized (especially at work) for making inappropriate jokes\u2014I\u2019m a poverty lawyer and some of my colleagues are extremely earnest\u2014I appreciate that fourth entry.<\/p>\n<p>There was an entire subcategory of \u201chow I died\u201d captions that focused on the arrow. Here\u2019s a small sample:<\/p>\n<ul>\n<li><strong>\u201cActually, it\u2019s not a trick arrow.\u201d<\/strong><\/li>\n<li><strong>\u201cNo, the arrow is real.\u201d<\/strong><\/li>\n<li><strong>\u201cThe arrow is real.\u201d<\/strong><\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p>All are good, but the third and shortest entry is best. Here\u2019s another version of the same joke that\u2019s clever but far too long: <b>\u201cOh, Steve Martin uses a <\/b><b><i>fake<\/i><\/b><b> arrow. Wish I had known that three minutes ago.\u201d<\/b> Steve Martin, it turns out, is now a caption writer who recently started collaborating with New Yorker cartoonist Harry Bliss: <a href=\"https:\/\/tribunecontentagency.com\/steve-martin-harry-bliss\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener noreferrer\">https:\/\/tribunecontentagency.com\/steve-martin-harry-bliss\/<\/a>. I also collaborated with Bliss, and while I\u2019m a little annoyed with Martin for taking my job\u2014isn\u2019t he busy enough with his stand-up comedy, talk-show and SNL appearances, acting, writing, and music?\u2014I have to admit that their collaborations are really good.<\/p>\n<p>While I made a rather juvenile joke about God\u2019s being omnipotent, several of you addressed his omniscience by making a reference to the line that precedes so many jokes: \u201cStop me if you\u2019ve heard this one before.\u201d<\/p>\n<ul>\n<li><strong>\u201cSo I\u2019m guessing you\u2019ve heard this one before, too.\u201d<\/strong><\/li>\n<li><strong>\u201cWell of course you\u2019ve heard this one before.\u201d<\/strong><\/li>\n<li><strong>\u201cWould you mind telling me if there are any you <i>haven\u2019t<\/i> heard before?\u201d<\/strong><\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p>Here\u2019s a caption I like because it tells a long story\u2014the comic is Jesus and he wants to reject the path that God has set out for him and pursue a non-traditional and difficult line of work that God doesn\u2019t approve of\u2014in just nine words: <b>\u201cNo, Dad, <\/b><b><i>you<\/i><\/b><b> want me to be a carpenter.\u201d<\/b><\/p>\n<p>I\u2019m ashamed to admit how much this caption made me laugh: <b>\u201cI hope that was thunder.\u201d<\/b><\/p>\n<p>Here\u2019s the best of the many variations on the \u201cI\u2019ll be here all week\u201d joke: <b>\u201cThank you. I\u2019ll be here for all eternity.\u201d<\/b><\/p>\n<p>There were several \u201cGod as heckler\u201d captions, and I especially liked these two:<\/p>\n<ul>\n<li><b>\u201cI never would have pegged you as a heckler.\u201d<\/b><\/li>\n<li><b>\u201cDid not expect the heckling.\u201d<\/b><\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p>Two captions presume that God, though not a heckler, is making the comic\u2019s job difficult by challenging the premise of one of his jokes:<\/p>\n<ul>\n<li><b>\u201cIt doesn\u2019t really matter if you\u2019d actually go into a bar with Buddha.\u201d \u00a0<\/b><\/li>\n<li><b>\u201cOK, assume for a minute that you would walk into a bar.\u201d<\/b><\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p>The second entry is better because it\u2019s shorter and ends with the word \u201cbar,\u201d which serves as the punchline in both jokes.<\/p>\n<p>Here are a few lines that stand-up comics often deliver, and that take on a more interesting meaning in the context of the drawing:<\/p>\n<ul>\n<li><strong>\u201cIf you don\u2019t want to get made fun of, pal, don\u2019t sit up front.\u201d<\/strong><\/li>\n<li><strong>\u201cI see we have a celebrity in the audience tonight.\u201d<\/strong><\/li>\n<li><strong>\u201cIs this thing on?\u201d<\/strong><\/li>\n<li><strong>\u201cSo, where are you from?\u201d<\/strong><\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p>And here\u2019s the rare good pun: <b>\u201cTough cloud.\u201d<\/b><\/p>\n<p>In the following caption, the performer doesn\u2019t realize he\u2019s dead or recognize his surroundings: <b>\u201cWhat the hell am I doing at the Lincoln Memorial?\u201d <\/b>A similar caption has the comic confusing the Throne of God for The Lincoln Memorial, but this time he\u2019s expressing more simmering anger than bewilderment: <b>\u201cThis better be the Lincoln Memorial.\u201d<\/b><\/p>\n<p>One of you emphasized just how annoying comedians who rely on props can be: <b>\u201cSo instead of another flood, you\u2019re sending me to punish mankind?\u201d<\/b> And one of you let the comedian defend his routine: <b>\u201cThis killed in purgatory.\u201d<\/b><\/p>\n<p>There were many fine entries this week, and one of my favorites came completely out of left field: <b>\u201cWhen I was born, the doctor said you had a sense of humor.\u201d<\/b><\/p>\n<p>My absolute favorite, however, was the personally meaningful, <b>\u201cI\u2019m here because some people can\u2019t take a joke.\u201d<\/b> In the end, of course, I don\u2019t get to select the winning caption or the two runners-up. That role is reserved for the God of captioning, Bob Mankoff (or B-b, which is how the most reverent write his name to avoid the risk of the sin of erasing or defacing it). As always, He will anoint the week\u2019s champion.<\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Kim Warp has drawn a prop comedian (he has an arrow through his head) performing a stand-up routine for that toughest of audiences: God. Because the comedian is in heaven, I first thought of the old saying that addresses both death and comedy: \u201cDying is easy. Comedy is hard.\u201d I then thought of captions that&#8230; <br \/><a class=\"more-link button\" style=\"float:right;margin:10px\" href=\"https:\/\/www.cartoonstock.com\/blog\/gods-comedian-caption-contest-commentary-with-lawrence-wood\/\" rel=\"nofollow\">Continue Reading&#8230;<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":11,"featured_media":2073,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"_genesis_hide_title":false,"_genesis_hide_breadcrumbs":false,"_genesis_hide_singular_image":false,"_genesis_hide_footer_widgets":false,"_genesis_custom_body_class":"","_genesis_custom_post_class":"","_genesis_layout":"","footnotes":""},"categories":[39],"tags":[],"class_list":{"0":"post-2072","1":"post","2":"type-post","3":"status-publish","4":"format-standard","5":"has-post-thumbnail","7":"category-caption-contest-commentary","8":"entry"},"acf":[],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO plugin v27.6 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