{"id":2329,"date":"2019-06-26T06:00:16","date_gmt":"2019-06-26T10:00:16","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/more.cartooncollections.com\/?p=2329"},"modified":"2020-08-19T09:43:21","modified_gmt":"2020-08-19T13:43:21","slug":"modern-rapunzel-caption-contest-commentary-with-lawrence-wood","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.cartoonstock.com\/blog\/modern-rapunzel-caption-contest-commentary-with-lawrence-wood\/","title":{"rendered":"\u201cModern Rapunzel\u201d Caption Contest Commentary with Lawrence Wood"},"content":{"rendered":"<p><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"alignright wp-image-2276\" src=\"\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/06\/ziegler2.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"250\" height=\"295\" srcset=\"https:\/\/www.cartoonstock.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/06\/ziegler2.jpg 800w, https:\/\/www.cartoonstock.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/06\/ziegler2-254x300.jpg 254w, https:\/\/www.cartoonstock.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/06\/ziegler2-768x906.jpg 768w\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 250px) 100vw, 250px\" \/>Jack Ziegler updated a German fairy tale by turning Rapunzel\u2019s tower into an apartment building. She\u2019s leaning out a fourth story window and letting her long hair cascade down to the sidewalk below, where a man is standing in front of the building\u2019s entrance and shouting up to her.<\/p>\n<p>My first several captions identify easier ways of getting to the fourth floor than climbing someone\u2019s hair:<\/p>\n<ul>\n<li><strong>\u201cJust buzz me in.\u201d<\/strong><\/li>\n<li><strong>\u201cJust toss me the keys.\u201d<\/strong><\/li>\n<li><strong>\u201cJust let down your key.\u201d<\/strong><\/li>\n<li><strong>\u201cBuzz me in so I can climb thy actual stairs.\u201d<\/strong><\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p>Those last two captions allude to an actual line from the fairy tale\u2014<i>Rapunzel, Rapunzel, let down your hair! So, that I may climb thy golden stair\u2014<\/i>and may therefore be better than the first two.<\/p>\n<p>I live not far from a community of Orthodox Jews where the women all wear wigs. From what I understand they pay a lot for lustrous, natural hair, so I thought of these captions:<\/p>\n<ul>\n<li><strong>\u201cI represent a group of very interested Orthodox women.\u201d<\/strong><\/li>\n<li><strong>\u201cMy clients are a group of Orthodox women. Name your price.\u201d<\/strong><\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p>In the summer of 1984 I held two jobs, each for just one day: asbestos remover, and lifeguard at an indoor pool. I remember the head lifeguard telling me how important it was to make sure that anyone with long hair wore a swim cap so their hair wouldn\u2019t clog the bottom drain, and that memory led to these captions:<\/p>\n<ul>\n<li><strong>\u201cAnd don\u2019t go in the pool without a cap.\u201d<\/strong><\/li>\n<li><strong>\u201cAnd stay away from the rooftop pool.\u201d<\/strong><\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p>Finally, I imagined the man returning from the store with disappointing news: <b>\u201cSorry. They don\u2019t sell conditioner by the gallon.\u201d<\/b><\/p>\n<p>Now let\u2019s see how you did.<\/p>\n<p>The following caption is identical to one of my own\u2014<b>\u201cJust buzz me in\u201d<\/b>\u2014and there were many variations on that joke:<\/p>\n<ul>\n<li><strong>\u201cCould you just buzz me in?<b>\u201d<\/b><\/strong><\/li>\n<li><strong>\u201cJust throw me the keys.<b>\u201d<\/b><\/strong><\/li>\n<li><strong>\u201cDon&#8217;t tell me the elevator is out of order again.<b>\u201d<\/b><\/strong><\/li>\n<li><strong>\u201cI&#8217;ll just take the stairs.<b>\u201d<\/b><\/strong><\/li>\n<li><strong>\u201cNow let down your key.<b>\u201d<\/b><\/strong><\/li>\n<li><strong>\u201cRapunzel, Rapunzel, just buzz me in.<b>\u201d<\/b><\/strong><\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p>The following \u201clong hair clogging the drain\u201d captions are all better than my own:<\/p>\n<ul>\n<li><strong>\u201cI&#8217;m here to fix the clog.<b>\u201d<\/b><\/strong><\/li>\n<li><strong>\u201cDid you call about the clogged drain?<b>\u201d<\/b><\/strong><\/li>\n<li><strong>\u201cI&#8217;m here about the clogged drain.<b>\u201d<\/b><\/strong><\/li>\n<li><strong>\u201cWhat seems to be the problem with your drain?<b>\u201d<\/b><\/strong><\/li>\n<li><strong>\u201cDo you know which apartment called about the clogged drain?<b>\u201d<\/b><\/strong><\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p>And here are a few decent sex jokes:<\/p>\n<ul>\n<li><strong>\u201cBy the time I get in, you always have a headache.<b>\u201d<\/b><\/strong><\/li>\n<li><strong>\u201cNext time I&#8217;m hiding in the closet if your husband comes home.<b>\u201d<\/b><\/strong><\/li>\n<li><strong>\u201cMy wife found one of your hairs on my gloves, jacket, pants <\/strong>and<strong> shoes.<b>\u201d<\/b><\/strong><\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p>There were several good puns playing on the double meaning of the word \u201clocks:\u201d<\/p>\n<ul>\n<li><strong>\u201cI&#8217;m the building manager. I heard you&#8217;re having trouble with your locks.<b>\u201d<\/b><\/strong><\/li>\n<li><strong>\u201cI said the keys, not the locks!<b>\u201d<\/b><\/strong><\/li>\n<li><strong>\u201cI see that the locks have been changed.<b>\u201d<\/b><\/strong><\/li>\n<li><strong>\u201cDid you change the locks?<b>\u201d<\/b><\/strong><\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p>I don\u2019t usually like captions based on the idea that someone has misunderstood what the other person said, but this is a not bad example of such an entry: <b>\u201cI said, \u2018Throw down your spare!\u2019\u201d<\/b><\/p>\n<p>Here are several good Rapunzel jokes that lose points only because they don\u2019t really address the apartment building setting:<\/p>\n<ul>\n<li><strong>\u201cI meant you should have more fun.\u201d<\/strong><\/li>\n<li><strong>\u201cI\u2019d rather avoid entanglements.\u201d<\/strong><\/li>\n<li><strong>\u201cBut you shave your legs, right?\u201d<\/strong><\/li>\n<li><strong>\u201cI prefer it up.\u201d<\/strong><\/li>\n<li><strong>\u201cI liked it better up!\u201d<\/strong><\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p>Like many of this week\u2019s entries, that last caption includes an exclamation point\u2014something to which I usually object. But because the man is clearly shouting up to the woman four stories above him, it\u2019s appropriate.<\/p>\n<p>Here\u2019s a pretty terrific lawyer joke acknowledging the fact that a process server need only touch the defendant with a summons: <b>\u201cYou&#8217;ve been served.\u201d<\/b><\/p>\n<p>Finally, we have two similar captions explaining why the woman\u2019s hair is so long:<\/p>\n<ul>\n<li><strong>\u201cHave you been waiting long?\u201d<\/strong><\/li>\n<li><strong>\u201cBeen waiting long?\u201d<\/strong><\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p>That second caption is substantively identical to but shorter than the first and therefore better, but it\u2019s not the best of this week\u2019s twenty-eight finalists. That honor goes to: <b>\u201cNow let down your key.\u201d<\/b><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Jack Ziegler updated a German fairy tale by turning Rapunzel\u2019s tower into an apartment building. She\u2019s leaning out a fourth story window and letting her long hair cascade down to the sidewalk below, where a man is standing in front of the building\u2019s entrance and shouting up to her. My first several captions identify easier&#8230; <br \/><a class=\"more-link button\" style=\"float:right;margin:10px\" href=\"https:\/\/www.cartoonstock.com\/blog\/modern-rapunzel-caption-contest-commentary-with-lawrence-wood\/\" rel=\"nofollow\">Continue Reading&#8230;<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":11,"featured_media":2330,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"_genesis_hide_title":false,"_genesis_hide_breadcrumbs":false,"_genesis_hide_singular_image":false,"_genesis_hide_footer_widgets":false,"_genesis_custom_body_class":"","_genesis_custom_post_class":"","_genesis_layout":"","footnotes":""},"categories":[39],"tags":[],"class_list":{"0":"post-2329","1":"post","2":"type-post","3":"status-publish","4":"format-standard","5":"has-post-thumbnail","7":"category-caption-contest-commentary","8":"entry"},"acf":[],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO plugin v27.5 - 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