![\"Cartoon](\"\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/09\/pcvey-death-ray-cc8-30-19-.png\")
At P.C. Vey\u2019s cocktail party, a woman standing by the buffet is holding a drink in her left hand and chatting with a man. On her head is a futuristic contraption (maybe a death-ray?) pointing at the man to whom she\u2019s talking.<\/p>\nAt P.C. Vey\u2019s cocktail party, a woman standing by the buffet is holding a drink in her left hand and chatting with a man. On her head is a futuristic contraption (maybe a death-ray?) pointing at the man to whom she\u2019s talking.<\/p>\n
She\u2019s wearing the space age gadget like a hat, complete with a chin-strap, and I thought her family background might explain this peculiar fashion choice: \u201cMother was a milliner and father was a mad scientist.\u201d<\/strong><\/p>\n I then went with the death-ray angle:<\/p>\n I then imagined the man beginning a conversation by asking, \u201cWhat\u2019s that on top of your head?\u201d If the woman were oblivious, this conversation might lead to her asking, \u201cOh, you mean on top of the wig?\u201d<\/strong><\/p>\n Finally, I came up with three captions based on the idea that the contraption on the woman\u2019s head is simply for the cocktails:<\/p>\n Now let\u2019s see how you did.<\/p>\n Pretty well, as it turns out. Vey\u2019s cartoon inspired more good caption than I\u2019ve ever seen for a single contest.<\/p>\n Many entries alluded to the line commonly used to chastise a man who\u2019s too busy staring at a woman\u2019s breasts to look her in the eyes, and the best of these captions was the simplest: \u201cMy eyes are down here.\u201d<\/strong> I also appreciated this spin on the same joke: \u201cMy breasts are down here.\u201d<\/strong><\/p>\n Those captions, however, fail to address exactly what the woman is wearing on her head, or its purpose. Most of you assumed it\u2019s a death-ray:<\/p>\n I like the way that last caption alludes to both the budding romance between two strangers (and the expectations they have for their new relationship) and the death-ray\u2019s awesome destructive powers.<\/p>\n The next set of captions suggest that the woman has already used, or is willing to use, these powers:<\/p>\n That last entry, which is great, would be even better if \u201cprevious boyfriend\u201d was replaced with \u201cex-boyfriend.\u201d<\/p>\n Here\u2019s another terrific ray gun caption\u2014\u201cI meet the most interesting people at parties and then I kill them\u201d<\/strong>\u2014but a comma before the word \u201cand\u201d would add a pause that makes the joke even more effective.<\/p>\n Here\u2019s a good ray-gun caption that could have been great: \u201cI used to be the life of the party, now I\u2019m the death of the party.\u201d<\/strong> The first ten words are completely unnecessary and serve only to explain a joke (\u201cI\u2019m the death of the party\u201d) that needs no explanation.<\/p>\n Here\u2019s a political and anti-NRA take on the ray gun joke: \u201cNadion particle beams don\u2019t kill people, people kill people.\u201d<\/strong> I wish the comma were a period, but it\u2019s still a strong entry.<\/p>\n The best ray-gun entry may be a reference to the iconic scene from the movie, \u201cGoldfinger,\u201d where James Bond is strapped to a table with his legs spread wide apart. Moving slowly toward his groin is a laser beam that\u2019s burning through the heavy table to which he\u2019s strapped. An increasingly desperate Bond asks Goldfinger, \u201cDo you expect me to talk?\u201d To which Goldfinger calmly replies, \u201cNo, Mr. Bond. I expect you to die.\u201d This retort has replaced, \u201cBond. James Bond,\u201d as the most famous line from any of the 007 movies, and it served as the inspiration for this entry: \u201cNo, Mr. Bond. I expect you to get me a drink.\u201d<\/strong><\/p>\n A few of you assumed the ray-gun had a less lethal setting (like stun) or purpose (like warming up drinks, removing blemishes, or entertaining pets):<\/p>\n Like I did, many of you assumed the death-ray would be the opposite of a conversation starter, and here are two especially good entries:<\/p>\n Others posited that the contraption on top of the woman\u2019s head is not a death-ray, but a machine for deciphering or controlling another person\u2019s thoughts:<\/p>\n\n
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