{"id":3128,"date":"2019-10-16T06:16:17","date_gmt":"2019-10-16T10:16:17","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/more.cartooncollections.com\/?p=3128"},"modified":"2020-08-19T09:43:04","modified_gmt":"2020-08-19T13:43:04","slug":"bowling-caption-contest-commentary-with-lawrence-wood","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.cartoonstock.com\/blog\/bowling-caption-contest-commentary-with-lawrence-wood\/","title":{"rendered":"\u201cBowling\u201d Caption Contest Commentary with Lawrence Wood"},"content":{"rendered":"<p><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"alignright wp-image-3097\" src=\"\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/10\/Bowlers-FINISH.jpg\" alt=\"Robert Leighton cartoons\" width=\"350\" height=\"265\" srcset=\"https:\/\/www.cartoonstock.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/10\/Bowlers-FINISH.jpg 800w, https:\/\/www.cartoonstock.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/10\/Bowlers-FINISH-300x227.jpg 300w, https:\/\/www.cartoonstock.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/10\/Bowlers-FINISH-768x581.jpg 768w\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 350px) 100vw, 350px\" \/>\u201cRapid Fire,\u201d a 1992 action film starring Bruce Lee\u2019s son, Brandon, is not a great movie\u2014the late film critic, Gene Siskel, declared it a disaster\u2014but Powers Booth has one great scene in it. He plays Lieutenant Mace Ryan. While bowling with his colleagues he tries to get a spare and leaves just one pin standing. He then takes his service revolver and blasts the remaining pin to hell. I\u2019d like to think that Robert Leighton\u2019s drawing is an homage to that scene.<\/p>\n<p>My first two captions acknowledge that a bowler armed with a revolver could be very intimidating:<\/p>\n<ul>\n<li><strong>\u201cYou win.\u201d<\/strong><\/li>\n<li><strong>\u201cThe other team just forfeited.\u201d<\/strong><\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p>In my next caption, the speaker\u2019s not intimated at all:<strong> \u201cNice shot, but your foot was over the line.\u201d<\/strong> (Even though the shooter appears to be well behind the foul line, I\u2019m assuming he stepped back before his companion said anything.)<\/p>\n<p>I next imagined the speaker offering advice, like a Monday morning quarterback, on how to knock down two pins with one shot:<\/p>\n<ul>\n<li><strong>\u201cYou need a shotgun.\u201d<\/strong><\/li>\n<li><strong>\u201cGraze it on the side so it slides across the lane and strikes the remaining pin.\u201d<\/strong><\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p>My final two captions rely on a couple of bowling terms: \u201cpost a shot\u201d (defined as retaining a balanced position after throwing the ball), and \u201cdeadwood\u201d (defined as a pin that is left in the lane and beyond the sweeper\u2019s reach.)<\/p>\n<ul>\n<li><strong>\u201cThat\u2019s not how you post a shot.\u201d<\/strong><\/li>\n<li><strong>\u201cThat\u2019s dead wood.\u201d<\/strong><\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p>Now let\u2019s see how you did:<\/p>\n<p>This entry is identical to one of my own\u2014<strong>\u201cYou win\u201d<\/strong>\u2014and one of many captions that allude to the fear an armed bowler would inspire. Here\u2019s a sampling of some of the others:<\/p>\n<ul>\n<li><strong>\u201cNo, no problem.\u201d <\/strong><\/li>\n<li><strong>\u201cThis is why we can\u2019t get in a league.\u201d<\/strong><\/li>\n<li><strong>\u201cWe\u2019ll just go ahead and mark it a spare.\u201d<\/strong><\/li>\n<li><strong>\u201cI don\u2019t want to keep score any more.\u201d<\/strong><\/li>\n<li><strong>\u201cYes, I heard them threaten you, too.\u201d<\/strong><\/li>\n<li><strong>\u201cThis could explain why the pinsetters went home.\u201d<\/strong><\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p>The next two entries are similar and superior to my shotgun caption:<\/p>\n<ul>\n<li><strong>\u201cA 7-10 split needs a shotgun.\u201d<\/strong><\/li>\n<li><strong>\u201cYou need a shotgun for that split.\u201d<\/strong><\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p>And these are similar to but shorter, and therefore better, than my \u201cover the line\u201d caption:<\/p>\n<ul>\n<li><strong>\u201cYour foot was over the line.\u201d<\/strong><\/li>\n<li><strong>\u201cYour foot was past the foul line.\u201d<\/strong><\/li>\n<li><strong>\u201cYou crossed the line.\u201d<\/strong><\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p>Here\u2019s an entry that\u2019s similar to one of my captions but misplaces the punchline, which should appear at the end: <strong>\u201cI guess the other team forfeits. They just left the building.\u201d <\/strong>The underlying joke is good\u2014the shooter scared the hell out of the other team\u2014but the word \u201cforfeit,\u201d which is the obvious punchline, is buried in the middle of the caption. The second sentence is unnecessary and serves only to undermine the joke\u2019s effectiveness. That\u2019s why my variation on the exact same joke\u2014<strong>\u201cThe other team just forfeited\u201d<\/strong>\u2014is better.<\/p>\n<p>While I relied on little-known bowling terms for a couple of my captions, one of you dug up an even more obscure term for this entry: <strong>\u201cThat was a killer shot.\u201d<\/strong> For those who don\u2019t know, a \u201ckiller shot\u201d completes a spare. But here\u2019s my issue with that entry. The shooter was hoping for a spare by knocking down the two pins remaining in what appears to be a 7-10 split, but he got only one pin and therefore did not actually make a \u201ckiller shot.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Any drawing that features a gun is bound to elicit some Second Amendment captions, and these were among the best:<\/p>\n<ul>\n<li><strong>\u201cI\u2019m not sure that\u2019s what the Founding Fathers had in mind.\u201d <\/strong><\/li>\n<li><strong>\u201cWell, it\u2019s my First Amendment right to tell you that isn\u2019t how it\u2019s done.\u201d<\/strong><\/li>\n<li><strong>\u201cSo, Bob says you\u2019re a schoolteacher.\u201d<\/strong><\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p>That last caption might offend those who think it makes light of the horrific school shootings that happen on a regular basis in this country. But I see it as a sharp-witted critique of those who suggest that the best way to prevent such tragedies is not through sensible gun-control but by arming teachers.<\/p>\n<p>Here\u2019s another anti-gun entry: <strong>\u201cIf you had any balls, you wouldn\u2019t need a gun.\u201d<\/strong><\/p>\n<p>And here\u2019s a reference to a Winter Olympics sport that combines cross-country skiing and shooting: <strong>\u201cI like this biathalon for old, fat guys.\u201d<\/strong><\/p>\n<p>Although we don\u2019t see any beer bottles in the drawing, it\u2019s safe to assume the bowlers have been drinking so this entry deserves attention: <strong>\u201cAnother round?\u201d<\/strong><\/p>\n<p><strong>\u201cHe shoots, he scores\u201d<\/strong> is something you expect to hear at a hockey game, not a bowling alley, but it fits the drawing so I\u2019m including it among this week\u2019s better entries.<\/p>\n<p>I\u2019ll end this week\u2019s commentary with five strong entries that don\u2019t fit into any particular category:<\/p>\n<ul>\n<li><strong>\u201cStill upset about the split?\u201d<\/strong><\/li>\n<li><strong>\u201cYou shouldn\u2019t bowl when you\u2019re loaded.\u201d<\/strong><\/li>\n<li><strong>\u201cI\u2019ll have to check the rule book.\u201d<\/strong><\/li>\n<li><strong>\u201cDid you try hitting reset?\u201d<\/strong><\/li>\n<li><strong>\u201cYou left your ball at the shooting range again, didn\u2019t you?\u201d <\/strong><\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p>As a 57-year-old man who could stand to lose some weight, my choice for the best entry of the week is, <strong>\u201cI like this biathalon for old, fat guys.\u201d<\/strong> Bob Mankoff, who is thin, will probably choose something else.<\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>\u201cRapid Fire,\u201d a 1992 action film starring Bruce Lee\u2019s son, Brandon, is not a great movie\u2014the late film critic, Gene Siskel, declared it a disaster\u2014but Powers Booth has one great scene in it. He plays Lieutenant Mace Ryan. While bowling with his colleagues he tries to get a spare and leaves just one pin standing&#8230;. <br \/><a class=\"more-link button\" style=\"float:right;margin:10px\" href=\"https:\/\/www.cartoonstock.com\/blog\/bowling-caption-contest-commentary-with-lawrence-wood\/\" rel=\"nofollow\">Continue Reading&#8230;<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":11,"featured_media":3129,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"_genesis_hide_title":false,"_genesis_hide_breadcrumbs":false,"_genesis_hide_singular_image":false,"_genesis_hide_footer_widgets":false,"_genesis_custom_body_class":"","_genesis_custom_post_class":"","_genesis_layout":"","footnotes":""},"categories":[39],"tags":[],"class_list":{"0":"post-3128","1":"post","2":"type-post","3":"status-publish","4":"format-standard","5":"has-post-thumbnail","7":"category-caption-contest-commentary","8":"entry"},"acf":[],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized 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