{"id":3218,"date":"2019-11-06T09:38:39","date_gmt":"2019-11-06T14:38:39","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/more.cartooncollections.com\/?p=3218"},"modified":"2020-08-19T09:43:03","modified_gmt":"2020-08-19T13:43:03","slug":"capitol-costume-caption-contest-commentary-with-lawrence-wood","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.cartoonstock.com\/blog\/capitol-costume-caption-contest-commentary-with-lawrence-wood\/","title":{"rendered":"\u201cCapitol Costume\u201d Caption Contest Commentary with Lawrence Wood"},"content":{"rendered":"<p><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"alignright wp-image-3159\" src=\"\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/10\/Halloween-Capital-Death1.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"350\" height=\"271\" srcset=\"https:\/\/www.cartoonstock.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/10\/Halloween-Capital-Death1.jpg 800w, https:\/\/www.cartoonstock.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/10\/Halloween-Capital-Death1-300x233.jpg 300w, https:\/\/www.cartoonstock.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/10\/Halloween-Capital-Death1-768x595.jpg 768w\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 350px) 100vw, 350px\" \/>In Bob Eckstein\u2019s Halloween-themed cartoon, a woman dressed as a witch is holding a bowl of candy and saying something to a child dressed as the Capitol. A couple pieces of candy have fallen out of the bowl, perhaps to indicate that the woman was truly startled. To the left of the kid dressed as the Capitol is another child who\u2019s wearing a much more traditional ghost costume\u2014a sheet with two eye holes\u2014and running away with his right hand in the air, perhaps indicating that he, too, is scared of the other trick-or-treater.<\/p>\n<p>My first few captions\u2014the most obvious\u2014allude to the idea that a walking reference to such a deeply unpopular Congress would be truly frightening:<\/p>\n<ul>\n<li><strong>\u201cVery scary.\u201d<\/strong><\/li>\n<li><strong>\u201cMuch scarier than the ghost.\u201d<\/strong><\/li>\n<li><strong>\u201cJesus! You really scared me.\u201d<\/strong><\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p>My next caption, which also plays on the fact that Congress is unpopular, alludes to a somewhat mean-spirited Halloween tradition: <strong>\u201cAren\u2019t you afraid of getting egged?\u201d<\/strong><\/p>\n<p>I then made a couple impeachment jokes that highlight our President\u2019s resemblance to pumpkins:<\/p>\n<ul>\n<li><strong>\u201cI don\u2019t care if it does look the guy you\u2019re trying to impeach. Don\u2019t smash my pumpkin.\u201d <\/strong><\/li>\n<li><strong>\u201cI know you like smashing fat orange vegetables, but leave my pumpkin alone.\u201d<\/strong><\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p>I may get criticized me for calling a pumpkin a vegetable when it\u2019s technically a fruit. Nevertheless, pumpkins are (like tomatoes and green peppers) among the fruits that are commonly referred to as or mistaken for vegetables, so calm down. I may also take some heat for mocking the President\u2019s appearance and intellect, but I\u2019m less concerned about that.<\/p>\n<p>Now let\u2019s see how you did.<\/p>\n<p>Here are six improvements on my \u201cscary costume\u201d captions:<\/p>\n<ul>\n<li><strong>\u201cWell, aren\u2019t you absolutely horrifying.\u201d <\/strong><\/li>\n<li><strong>\u201cBob, come see. This one\u2019s really scary.\u201d<\/strong><\/li>\n<li><strong>\u201cMaybe it\u2019s a little <em>too <\/em>scary<em>.<\/em>\u201d<\/strong><\/li>\n<li><strong>\u201cHaven\u2019t you scared enough people this year?\u201d<\/strong><\/li>\n<li><strong>\u201cYou get scarier every year.\u201d <\/strong><\/li>\n<li><strong>\u201cYou nearly gave me a heart attack.\u201d<\/strong><\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p>And here are two less appropriate variations on the same joke:<\/p>\n<ul>\n<li><strong>\u201cYou scared the shit out of me.\u201d<\/strong><\/li>\n<li><strong>\u201cJesus\u2026that\u2019s the scariest costume ever!\u201d<\/strong><\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p>The first entry made me laugh out loud, and the second made me feel better about using \u201cJesus\u201d in one of my captions.<\/p>\n<p>These next two captions highlight the fact that the legislative branch of our current government is still far less frightening than the executive branch:<\/p>\n<ul>\n<li><strong>\u201cThe White House would be scarier.\u201d <\/strong><\/li>\n<li><strong>\u201cThe kid in the White House is scarier.\u201d<\/strong><\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p>And here are a couple more good digs at the President:<\/p>\n<ul>\n<li><strong>\u201cAvoid that white house up the street.\u201d<\/strong><\/li>\n<li><strong>\u201cThere\u2019s a child in the White House, too.\u201d<\/strong><\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p>Speaking of the President, here are the best impeachment jokes:<\/p>\n<ul>\n<li><strong>\u201cStart impeachment proceedings, and this whole bowl is yours.\u201d<\/strong><\/li>\n<li><strong>\u201cYou\u2019re at the wrong house.\u201d<\/strong><\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p>And here are two terrific entries that allude to both the woman\u2019s costume and the President\u2019s disparaging term for the impeachment proceedings:<\/p>\n<ul>\n<li><strong>\u201cIs this some type of witch hunt?\u201d <\/strong><\/li>\n<li><strong>\u201cAnother witch hunt?\u201d<\/strong><\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p>The next set of entries acknowledge that Congress is not so much scary as it is deeply unpopular:<\/p>\n<ul>\n<li><strong>\u201cYou get a rock.\u201d <\/strong><\/li>\n<li><strong>\u201cYou look deplorable.\u201d<\/strong><\/li>\n<li><strong>\u201cAnd I thought the last kids costume was disappointing.\u201d<\/strong><\/li>\n<li><strong>\u201cI\u2019ll be right back with some rat poison.\u201d<\/strong><\/li>\n<li><strong>\u201cBooooooooo!\u201d<\/strong><\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p>Many of your entries suggested that Congress is unpopular because it accomplishes too little:<\/p>\n<ul>\n<li><strong>\u201cHow\u2019d you get here? McConnell usually blocks you from getting anywhere.\u201d <\/strong><\/li>\n<li><strong>\u201cI want to be scared, but I know you won\u2019t do anything.\u201d<\/strong><\/li>\n<li><strong>\u201cHow can you be so scary without doing anything?\u201d <\/strong><\/li>\n<li><strong>\u201cWhat\u2019s your trick? Doing nothing?\u201d<\/strong><\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p>Or taxes too much:<\/p>\n<ul>\n<li><strong>\u201cHaven\u2019t you taken enough from me?\u201d<\/strong><\/li>\n<li><strong>\u201cNo, you can\u2019t have it all.\u201d<\/strong><\/li>\n<li><strong>\u201cYou want my candy, too?\u201d <\/strong><\/li>\n<li><strong>\u201cAll my candy <em>and<\/em> the bowl?\u201d<\/strong><\/li>\n<li><strong>\u201cYou keep coming back for more.\u201d<\/strong><\/li>\n<li><strong>\u201cI gave you yours on April 15.\u201d <\/strong><\/li>\n<li><strong>\u201cIt\u2019s \u2018Trick or Treat.\u2019 Not \u2018Tax day.\u2019\u201d<\/strong><\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p>Or is hypocritical:<\/p>\n<ul>\n<li><strong>\u201cI don\u2019t believe in government handouts.\u201d<\/strong><\/li>\n<li><strong>\u201cI thought you hated handouts.\u201d<\/strong><\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p>Or is too conservative: <strong>\u201cWould you like chocolate, caramel, or my reproductive rights?\u201d<\/strong><\/p>\n<p>This next entry probably belongs in the set of \u201ctaxes\u201d captions that appears above, but it deserves special recognition for cleverly addressing the child in the ghost costume: <strong>\u201cFirst death, now taxes.\u201d<\/strong><\/p>\n<p>Here\u2019s a pun I both dislike and admire: <strong>\u201cI\u2019m not gonna fill it, buster.\u201d<\/strong><\/p>\n<p>Finally, here are five strong captions that don\u2019t fit neatly into any category:<\/p>\n<ul>\n<li><strong>\u201cIf the real Senate were only so easy to please.\u201d<\/strong><\/li>\n<li><strong>\u201cI assume you\u2019re not allergic to nuts.\u201d<\/strong><\/li>\n<li><strong>\u201cNot and, honey\u2026it\u2019s trick <em>or<\/em> treat.\u201d<\/strong><\/li>\n<li><strong>\u201cNo, you may not have a piece of candy for every member.\u201d<\/strong><\/li>\n<li><strong>\u201cWho said a house divided couldn\u2019t stand?\u201d<\/strong><\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p>You all keep getting better at this, and I now have to choose a winner from forty-two really strong entries. My choice is, <strong>\u201cThere\u2019s a child in the White House, too.\u201d<\/strong><\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>In Bob Eckstein\u2019s Halloween-themed cartoon, a woman dressed as a witch is holding a bowl of candy and saying something to a child dressed as the Capitol. A couple pieces of candy have fallen out of the bowl, perhaps to indicate that the woman was truly startled. To the left of the kid dressed as&#8230; <br \/><a class=\"more-link button\" style=\"float:right;margin:10px\" href=\"https:\/\/www.cartoonstock.com\/blog\/capitol-costume-caption-contest-commentary-with-lawrence-wood\/\" rel=\"nofollow\">Continue Reading&#8230;<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":11,"featured_media":3186,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"_genesis_hide_title":false,"_genesis_hide_breadcrumbs":false,"_genesis_hide_singular_image":false,"_genesis_hide_footer_widgets":false,"_genesis_custom_body_class":"","_genesis_custom_post_class":"","_genesis_layout":"","footnotes":""},"categories":[39],"tags":[],"class_list":{"0":"post-3218","1":"post","2":"type-post","3":"status-publish","4":"format-standard","5":"has-post-thumbnail","7":"category-caption-contest-commentary","8":"entry"},"acf":[],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO plugin v27.5 - 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