![\"Cartoon](\"\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/01\/CAJ_weirdo_caption_FINISH.jpg\")
In Carolita Johnson\u2019 s cartoon, an unshaven flasher wearing a watchman\u2019s cap and a headband with eyeball boppers is harassing a woman who\u2019s turned her back to him. The flasher is speaking.<\/p>\nIn Carolita Johnson\u2019 s cartoon, an unshaven flasher wearing a watchman\u2019s cap and a headband with eyeball boppers is harassing a woman who\u2019s turned her back to him. The flasher is speaking.<\/p>\n
I first imagined the flasher hoping against hope for a date: \u201cWell, then, how about tomorrow night?\u201d<\/strong><\/p>\n I next pictured him getting defensive and assuming that she could reject his advances for only one reason: \u201cWhat, you don\u2019t like guys?\u201d<\/strong><\/p>\n I then focused on the eyeball boppers: \u201cOh, come on. They\u2019re festive.\u201d<\/strong><\/p>\n I next imagined the flasher trying to find common ground by presenting himself as a staunch (and unlikely) opponent of sexual harassment:<\/p>\n Finally, I appropriated a line that many women have said to men who won\u2019t stop staring at their breasts: \u201cHey, my eyes are up here.\u201d<\/strong><\/p>\n Now let\u2019s see how you did.<\/p>\n No fewer than nineteen of you submitted some variation on the \u201ceyes up here\u201d caption:<\/p>\n Three of you had essentially the same idea but, by changing \u201chere\u201d to \u201cthere,\u201d highlighted the fact that the bopping eyes are above the flasher\u2019s head:<\/p>\n That last caption would be better without the italics and two exclamation points.<\/p>\n One of you alluded to the recent controversy surrounding the movie \u201cJoker,\u201d which some critics feared would incite to violence those white men who feel ignored by society in general and by women in particular: \u201cI\u2019ve seen \u2018Joker\u2019 seventeen times.\u201d<\/strong><\/p>\n Some of this week\u2019s best entries established that the woman and the flasher have or had some kind of personal or professional relationship, such as former colleagues: \u201cDo they miss me at work?\u201d<\/strong><\/p>\n Or spouses:<\/p>\n Or family members: \u201cNo daughter of mine is going out dressed like that.\u201d<\/strong><\/p>\n Or ex-lovers: \u201cI\u2019m doing just fine since you left me, just fine. Good in fact. Real good.\u201d<\/strong><\/p>\n That last entry is an excellent example of a long caption that could not be any shorter. It captures the way a spurned lover might talk while trying (not very successfully) to convince himself and his ex-girlfriend that he\u2019s moved on. It may be the longest caption I\u2019ve ever highlighted in one of my commentaries, but every word is necessary \u00a0and I really like it.<\/p>\n Here\u2019s this week\u2019s best Trump joke: \u201cI lost my MAGA hat.\u201d<\/strong><\/p>\n Here\u2019s the best (and most disturbing) sex joke: \u201cI\u2019ll bet you\u2019ve never done it in a cardboard box.\u201d<\/strong><\/p>\n And here\u2019s the best pun: \u201cYou told me to wear something flashy.\u201d<\/strong><\/p>\n This is similar to but shorter and better than my \u201chow about tomorrow night\u201d caption:\u00a0 \u201cHow about Saturday night?\u201d<\/strong><\/p>\n In the following entry, the flasher\u2019s trying to figure out why the woman\u2019s not receptive to his advances: \u201cLet me guess. You have a rule against dating bug-antennaed homeless flashers?\u201d <\/strong><\/p>\n And in these entries he\u2019s lashing out after getting rejected:<\/p>\n\n
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