{"id":3718,"date":"2020-02-19T05:30:31","date_gmt":"2020-02-19T10:30:31","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/more.cartooncollections.com\/?p=3718"},"modified":"2020-08-19T09:42:42","modified_gmt":"2020-08-19T13:42:42","slug":"trombone-lifeboat-caption-contest-commentary-with-lawrence-wood","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.cartoonstock.com\/blog\/trombone-lifeboat-caption-contest-commentary-with-lawrence-wood\/","title":{"rendered":"\u201cTrombone Lifeboat\u201d Caption Contest Commentary with Lawrence Wood"},"content":{"rendered":"<p><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"alignright wp-image-3616\" src=\"\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/02\/Borchart_Caption_Trombone-Lifeboat.jpg\" alt=\"Caption Contest David Borchart\" width=\"350\" height=\"245\" srcset=\"https:\/\/www.cartoonstock.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/02\/Borchart_Caption_Trombone-Lifeboat.jpg 800w, https:\/\/www.cartoonstock.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/02\/Borchart_Caption_Trombone-Lifeboat-300x210.jpg 300w, https:\/\/www.cartoonstock.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/02\/Borchart_Caption_Trombone-Lifeboat-768x538.jpg 768w\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 350px) 100vw, 350px\" \/>In Dave Borchart\u2019s cartoon, two men, stranded in a lifeboat, are staring at a trombone lying between them. The man with his arms crossed is speaking.<\/p>\n<p>Many people, myself included, wish they could play an instrument but never thought they had enough time to learn\u2014an excuse that\u2019s no longer available to the men in the boat:<\/p>\n<ul>\n<li><strong>\u201cI always wanted to learn, but who has the time?\u201d<\/strong><\/li>\n<li><strong>\u201cI always wanted to learn but never had the time.\u201d<\/strong><\/li>\n<li><strong>\u201cAnd now I have the time but not the inclination.\u201d<\/strong><\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p>In my next caption, the man knows how to play but can\u2019t because the conditions aren\u2019t conducive to performing: <strong>\u201cMy lips are so dry I can\u2019t get the right embouchure.\u201d<\/strong><\/p>\n<p>I then had the man explaining why he would ever bring a trombone on a lifeboat: <strong>\u201cAt the time, it seemed important.\u201d<\/strong><\/p>\n<p>In my last caption, the trombone belonged to a third passenger: <strong>\u201cI don\u2019t know. After killing and eating him, throwing his trombone in the ocean just seems mean.\u201d<\/strong><\/p>\n<p>Now let\u2019s see how you did.<\/p>\n<p>These three entries (two of which are almost identical to one of mine) allude to the fact that the man in the boat now has more than enough time to master the trombone:<\/p>\n<ul>\n<li><strong>\u201cYou know how you get so busy you never have time to practice?\u201d<\/strong><\/li>\n<li><strong>\u201cI think you\u2019ve run out of excuses for not practicing.\u201d<\/strong><\/li>\n<li><strong>\u201cI always wanted to learn to play, but never had the time.\u201d<\/strong><\/li>\n<li><strong>\u201cI always wanted to learn, but I\u2019ve never had the time.\u201d<\/strong><\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p>Like I did, many of you imagined that the trombone belonged to a third and recently deceased passenger:<\/p>\n<ul>\n<li><strong>\u201cI warned him not to play it.\u201d<\/strong><\/li>\n<li><strong>\u201cWe warned him.\u201d<\/strong><\/li>\n<li><strong>\u201cI\u2019m sorry; he just wouldn\u2019t stop playing.\u201d<\/strong><\/li>\n<li><strong>\u201cHe wasn\u2019t <em>that <\/em>bad<em>.<\/em>\u201d <\/strong><\/li>\n<li><strong>\u201cHe was too improvisational.\u201d<\/strong><\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p>While all five of those captions assume the third passenger was murdered by the other two, the next two entries assume that he either committed suicide or fell overboard by accident:<\/p>\n<ul>\n<li><strong>\u201cI didn\u2019t think he&#8217;d take our criticism so seriously.\u201d <\/strong><\/li>\n<li><strong>\u201cI warned him not to stand up when he played.\u201d<\/strong><\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p>Here the passenger is criticizing, in a fairly dry and understated way, his companion\u2019s decision to exchange truly necessary items for something completely useless: <strong>\u201cWhat else did you get for the outboard and paddles?\u201d<\/strong><\/p>\n<p>While in this next set of entries the passenger is defending his decision to bring the trombone:<\/p>\n<ul>\n<li><strong>\u201cBut what kind of life is it without art?\u201d<\/strong><\/li>\n<li><strong>\u201cSorry! I just didn\u2019t think a flare gun would pass the time as well.\u201d <\/strong><\/li>\n<li><strong>\u201cSo what do <em>you<\/em> want to do to pass the time?\u201d <\/strong><\/li>\n<li><strong>\u201cIt seemed important at the time.\u201d <\/strong><\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p>I have a special affinity for #4 because it\u2019s so close to one of my own captions.<\/p>\n<p>In the next three entries the passenger\u2019s trying to make the best of a bad situation:<\/p>\n<ul>\n<li><strong>\u201cCould be worse. Could be a banjo.\u201d<\/strong><\/li>\n<li><strong>\u201cThank God you don\u2019t play piano.\u201d<\/strong><\/li>\n<li><strong>\u201cI spy, with my little eye, something beginning with\u2026&#8217;T&#8217;\u201d<\/strong><\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p>Many of recognized that a trombone, which could never be considered a necessity, is especially useless when no one knows how to play it:<\/p>\n<ul>\n<li><strong>\u201cDo you play?\u201d<\/strong><\/li>\n<li><strong>\u201cI thought <em>you <\/em>played.\u201d <\/strong><\/li>\n<li><strong>\u201cI hope you\u2019re not thinking of taking it up.\u201d<\/strong><\/li>\n<li><strong>\u201cI thought <em>you<\/em> played the trombone.\u201d<\/strong><\/li>\n<li><strong>\u201cPlease tell me you know how to play that thing.\u201d<\/strong><\/li>\n<li><strong>\u201cAnd you don\u2019t even play!\u201d <\/strong><\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p>In the next set of entries, one of the passengers actually does know how to play:<\/p>\n<ul>\n<li><strong>\u201cI don\u2019t care if you have perfect pitch.\u201d<\/strong><\/li>\n<li><strong>\u201cI guess the other passengers didn\u2019t appreciate our act.\u201d<\/strong><\/li>\n<li><strong>\u201cI\u2019m not going to teach you until we agree on the fee.\u201d<\/strong><\/li>\n<li><strong>\u201cI\u2019m still not good enough to play it in front of you.\u201d<\/strong><\/li>\n<li><strong>\u201cI\u2019m not playing until you apologize.\u201d<\/strong><\/li>\n<li><strong>\u201cAny final requests?\u201d <\/strong><\/li>\n<li><strong>\u201cMy parents warned me I\u2019d starve as a musician.\u201d<\/strong><\/li>\n<li><strong>\u201cI\u2019d give anything for some sheet music.\u201d<\/strong><\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p>Here are this week\u2019s best sick jokes:<\/p>\n<ul>\n<li><strong>\u201cSo, turns out there was room for both the trombone and your wife.\u201d<\/strong><\/li>\n<li><strong>\u201cGuess what is edible?\u201d<\/strong><\/li>\n<li><strong>\u201cWe should have thrown his trombone overboard and eaten him.\u201d<\/strong><\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p>All three captions would be better if the following words were italicized:<\/p>\n<ol>\n<li>and<\/li>\n<li>is<\/li>\n<li>him<\/li>\n<\/ol>\n<p>I don\u2019t usually encourage entrants to italicize words because italics can (like an exclamation point) make a joke too heavy-handed, but sometimes italics make the caption punchier and more effective.<\/p>\n<p>Finally, we have a fine example of a caption that works because it makes the speaker completely oblivious: <strong>\u201c<\/strong><strong>If only we had some way to get their attention.\u201d <\/strong><\/p>\n<p>As always, there were many strong entries, but this week\u2019s best is, <strong>\u201cI\u2019d give anything for some sheet music.\u201d<\/strong><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>In Dave Borchart\u2019s cartoon, two men, stranded in a lifeboat, are staring at a trombone lying between them. The man with his arms crossed is speaking. Many people, myself included, wish they could play an instrument but never thought they had enough time to learn\u2014an excuse that\u2019s no longer available to the men in the&#8230; <br \/><a class=\"more-link button\" style=\"float:right;margin:10px\" href=\"https:\/\/www.cartoonstock.com\/blog\/trombone-lifeboat-caption-contest-commentary-with-lawrence-wood\/\" rel=\"nofollow\">Continue Reading&#8230;<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":11,"featured_media":3719,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"_genesis_hide_title":false,"_genesis_hide_breadcrumbs":false,"_genesis_hide_singular_image":false,"_genesis_hide_footer_widgets":false,"_genesis_custom_body_class":"","_genesis_custom_post_class":"","_genesis_layout":"","footnotes":""},"categories":[39],"tags":[],"class_list":{"0":"post-3718","1":"post","2":"type-post","3":"status-publish","4":"format-standard","5":"has-post-thumbnail","7":"category-caption-contest-commentary","8":"entry"},"acf":[],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO plugin v27.5 - https:\/\/yoast.com\/product\/yoast-seo-wordpress\/ -->\n<title>\u201cTrombone Lifeboat\u201d Caption Contest Commentary with Lawrence Wood &#8211; The CartoonStock.com Blog<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"\u201cTrombone Lifeboat\u201d Caption 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