{"id":4202,"date":"2020-06-10T05:58:32","date_gmt":"2020-06-10T09:58:32","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/more.cartooncollections.com\/?p=4202"},"modified":"2020-06-10T10:07:55","modified_gmt":"2020-06-10T14:07:55","slug":"frankenstein-caption-contest-commentary-with-lawrence-wood","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.cartoonstock.com\/blog\/frankenstein-caption-contest-commentary-with-lawrence-wood\/","title":{"rendered":"&#8220;Frankie Goes to Hollywood\u201d Caption Contest Commentary with Lawrence Wood"},"content":{"rendered":"<p><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"alignright wp-image-4160\" src=\"\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/05\/franken-hollywood.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"350\" height=\"220\" srcset=\"https:\/\/www.cartoonstock.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/05\/franken-hollywood.jpg 800w, https:\/\/www.cartoonstock.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/05\/franken-hollywood-300x188.jpg 300w, https:\/\/www.cartoonstock.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/05\/franken-hollywood-768x482.jpg 768w\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 350px) 100vw, 350px\" \/>In Bob Eckstein\u2019s drawing, which is perfect for the contest because its simple premise provides such fertile ground for captions, a Hollywood agent is saying something to his client, the Frankenstein monster.<\/p>\n<p>\u201cFrankie Goes to Hollywood,\u201d the title I chose for this commentary, was actually submitted as a caption by two entrants, but it\u2019s not something the agent would say. Nevertheless, it captures the essence of the drawing, so I hope the people who submitted \u201cFrankie\u2026\u201d as a caption don\u2019t mind my repurposing it.<\/p>\n<p>As for my own captions, I first alluded to the method by which the monster\u2019s corpse was reanimated:<\/p>\n<ul>\n<li><strong>\u201cNow, let\u2019s revive your career.\u201d<\/strong><\/li>\n<li><strong>\u201cSorry, but in this business lightning strikes only once.\u201d<\/strong><\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p>The Clash has a song called, \u201cLightning Strikes (Not Once, But Twice),\u201d but I couldn\u2019t think of\u00a0 a way to incorporate that into a caption. Too bad. I love The Clash.<\/p>\n<p>My next three captions include a play on the word \u201cparts:\u201d<\/p>\n<ul>\n<li><strong>\u201cYou\u2019re in no position to be rejecting parts.\u201d<\/strong><\/li>\n<li><strong>\u201cI\u2019ve got some great parts for you.\u201d<\/strong><\/li>\n<li><strong>\u201cThis is going to be one of your greatest parts.\u201d<\/strong><\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p>I then came up with a #MeToo reference: <strong>\u201cPlenty of monsters do well in this town.\u201d <\/strong><\/p>\n<p>Here are references to both the Oscars and the fact that Frankenstein was the result of a mad doctor\u2019s science experiment: <strong>\u201cI got a call from the Academy, but it\u2019s the Academy of Science and Medicine.\u201d<\/strong><\/p>\n<p>And here\u2019s a Jewish joke: <strong>\u201cAny relation to Rubenstein?\u201d<\/strong><\/p>\n<p>I then had the agent trying to explain why Frankenstein is not enjoying the same measure of cinematic success as other monsters:<\/p>\n<ul>\n<li><strong>\u201cBecause vampires are sexy.\u201d<\/strong><\/li>\n<li><strong>\u201cI\u2019m sorry. No one wants to see a movie about a beautiful and morose high school student falling in love with <em>you<\/em>.\u201d <\/strong><\/li>\n<li><strong>\u201cYou\u2019re no Edward Cullen.\u201d<\/strong><\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p>If you\u2019re wondering why I, a 57-year-old man, know so much about the \u201cTwilight\u201d movie franchise (as evidenced by those last two captions), I have three teenage daughters.<\/p>\n<p>I next acknowledged that Frankenstein would likely be viewed as an actor with a quite limited range:<\/p>\n<ul>\n<li><strong>\u201cI know it\u2019s typecasting.\u201d<\/strong><\/li>\n<li><strong>\u201cYes, of course it\u2019s a horror film.\u201d<\/strong><\/li>\n<li><strong>\u201cI got you an audition for \u201cThe Fred Gwynne Story.\u2019\u201d<\/strong><\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p>That last caption probably makes no sense to anyone who\u2019s younger than I, but Gwynne (who had small but memorable parts in such films as \u201cMy Cousin Vinny,\u201d \u201cFatal Attraction,\u201d and \u201cPet Semetary\u201d) was best known for his role as a Frankenstein monster-type in the 1964-66 TV sitcom, \u201cThe Munsters.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>I then came up with this reference to Mel Brooks\u2019 classic comedy from 1974: <strong>\u201cThis town is obsessed with youth, and you\u2019re not young, Frankenstein.\u201d<\/strong><\/p>\n<p>I\u2019m going to end this part of my commentary on a positive note by having the agent deliver some surprisingly good news: <strong>\u201cWe got Scarlett Johannsen to play the bride.\u201d<\/strong><\/p>\n<p>Now let\u2019s see how you did.<\/p>\n<p>A lot of entries played on the double-meaning of the word \u201cparts,\u201d but these were the best:<\/p>\n<ul>\n<li><strong>&#8220;I have a few different parts that are perfect for you.&#8221;<\/strong><\/li>\n<li><strong>&#8220;Babe, in your case there are no small parts.\u201d<\/strong><\/li>\n<li><strong>\u201cWe just need to find you some new parts.&#8221;<\/strong><\/li>\n<li><strong>&#8220;We just need to find you the right parts.&#8221;<\/strong><\/li>\n<li><strong>&#8220;There just aren&#8217;t any good parts.&#8221;<\/strong><\/li>\n<li><strong>&#8220;I can&#8217;t get you any new parts.&#8221;<\/strong><\/li>\n<li><strong>\u201cVarious parts would suit you.\u201d<\/strong><\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p>Here are a couple #MeToo jokes:<\/p>\n<ul>\n<li><strong>&#8220;Don&#8217;t be so hard on yourself. Next to Harvey I wouldn&#8217;t even call you a monster.&#8221;<\/strong><\/li>\n<li><strong>\u201c\u2018Variety\u2019 found out about the girl.\u201d<\/strong><\/li>\n<li><strong>\u201cThe girl\u2019s alive, and she\u2019s talking.\u201d<\/strong><\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p>Those last two captions are especially clever (and dark) because they could be taken as references not only to Hollywood sex scandals, but to the scene from the 1931 film, \u201cFrankenstein,\u201d in which the monster plays with and inadvertently kills a young girl. Mel Brooks parodied that scene, and let the girl live, in \u201cYoung Frankenstein.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Speaking of \u201cYoung Frankenstein,\u201d here are three entries that allude to it:<\/p>\n<ul>\n<li><strong>\u201cYou\u2019re not that young anymore.\u201d<\/strong><\/li>\n<li><strong>\u201cFace it, you\u2019re not young anymore.\u201d<\/strong><\/li>\n<li><strong>&#8220;Have you done any comedy?&#8221;<\/strong><\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p>In Mary Shelley\u2019s novel, the monster is quite eloquent. But in the film adaptations he almost never speaks, a fact that\u2019s highlighted in these two entries:<\/p>\n<ul>\n<li><strong>&#8220;I can see you in a non-speaking role.\u201d<\/strong><\/li>\n<li><strong>&#8220;Have you memorized your line?&#8221;<\/strong><\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p>Here are this week\u2019s best Jewish jokes:<\/p>\n<ul>\n<li><strong>\u201cMy father was also a Jewish doctor.\u201d <\/strong><\/li>\n<li><strong>\u201cYour name&#8217;s too Jewish.\u201d<\/strong><\/li>\n<li><strong>\u201cDo you pronounce that steen or stine?\u201d<\/strong><\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p>One entrant submitted this caption: <strong>\u201cTypecasting is a problem.\u201d<\/strong> That\u2019s good, but it highlights another problem: burying the punchline. The punchline should appear at the end of the caption, as it does in this entry: <strong>\u201cYou need to get used to being typecast.\u201d<\/strong> Here are a couple of good variations on the same joke that don\u2019t even use the word \u201ctypecast:\u201d<\/p>\n<ul>\n<li><strong>\u201cWhich part are you trying out for?\u201d<\/strong><\/li>\n<li><strong>\u201cGuess who just booked the lead role in \u2018Frankenstein 12?\u2019\u201d<\/strong><\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p>South Korea, where cosmetic surgery is a common high school graduation gift, may be the world\u2019s plastic surgery capitol (at least when judged on a per capita basis), but Hollywood can\u2019t be far behind. That\u2019s the premise behind these four captions:<\/p>\n<ul>\n<li><strong>\u201cSweetheart, this is L.A. Everyone\u2019s had a little work done.\u201d<\/strong><\/li>\n<li><strong>\u201cIn Hollywood, everyone\u2019s had work done.\u201d<\/strong><\/li>\n<li><strong>\u201cAre you willing to have work done?\u201d<\/strong><\/li>\n<li><strong>\u201cHave you had some work done?\u201d<\/strong><\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p>As I noted at the beginning of this commentary, I didn\u2019t think anyone would get my Fred Gwynne jokes. I was wrong:<\/p>\n<ul>\n<li><strong>\u201cBecause Fred Gwynne is a trained actor.\u201d<\/strong><\/li>\n<li><strong>\u201cI\u2019m afraid you lost out to Fred Gwynne.\u201d<\/strong><\/li>\n<li><strong>\u201cWas I right about \u2018My Cousin Vinny?\u2019\u201d<\/strong><\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p>Several of you focused on the fact that the monster was created in a lab:<\/p>\n<ul>\n<li><strong>&#8220;The doctor may have built you, but I made you.\u201d <\/strong><\/li>\n<li><strong>\u201cKid, I\u2019m gonna make you the next big thing.\u201d<\/strong><\/li>\n<li><strong>\u201cDon\u2019t forget, I made you what you are.\u201d<\/strong><\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p>In Shelley\u2019s novel, the monster is not physically impaired. He moves swiftly. But that\u2019s not how he\u2019s portrayed on screen, as this caption notes: <strong>&#8220;Your last performance was a bit stiff.&#8221;<\/strong><\/p>\n<p>Here are the best reanimation jokes, both of which start with the same two words:<\/p>\n<ul>\n<li><strong>&#8220;Sorry, pal, lightning only strikes once in this town.\u201d<\/strong><\/li>\n<li><strong>\u201cSorry, pal, but I don\u2019t do revivals.\u201d<\/strong><\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p>Here\u2019s the best entry that highlights Hollywood&#8217;s obsession with youth: <strong>\u201cParts of you are 30, but that doesn\u2019t mean you can play 30.\u201d<\/strong><\/p>\n<p>Here\u2019s the best entry that alludes to the sickly color of the monster\u2019s skin: <strong>&#8220;I&#8217;m afraid your face disappeared with the green screen.&#8221;<\/strong><\/p>\n<p>Here are three terrific captions that don\u2019t fit neatly into any category:<\/p>\n<ul>\n<li><strong>&#8220;I\u2019m afraid they went with Leonardo.&#8221; <\/strong><\/li>\n<li><strong>&#8220;Love the new head shots, but leave it attached next time.&#8221;<\/strong><\/li>\n<li><strong>\u201cPlus, they\u2019ll pop for a new brain.\u201d<\/strong><\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p>I typically conclude my review of your entries with the captions that don\u2019t fit into a particular category. This time, however, I want to end with the entries that came closest to matching \u00a0Bob Eckstein\u2019s original caption, which last week I learned was, \u201cYou were made for this role.\u201d (That is why I did not include, in the commentary section where I review my ideas, any versions of that joke. I\u2019m not a joke thief.)<\/p>\n<p>First we have, <strong>\u201cThis is the role you were born to play.\u201d<\/strong> That\u2019s good, but the monster wasn\u2019t really born. He was created in a lab.<\/p>\n<p>Next we have, <strong>\u201cAssity ass ass poop titty\u2026you were made for this part!\u201d<\/strong> Regular readers of this feature may recognize the first part of that entry, as it was submitted two weeks ago (coincidentally, for a contest that used a Bob Eckstein drawing). It was, I assumed, a criticism of my perceived penchant for scatological humor and sex jokes. That criticism made me laugh, but I wouldn\u2019t highlight it a second time if it didn\u2019t also include such a strong caption. I like, \u201cYou were made for this part!\u201d (I even like the exclamation point.) Nevertheless, it makes no sense coming after the words, \u201cassity ass ass poop titty.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Finally, we have <strong>\u201cYou were made for this picture.\u201d <\/strong>It\u2019s almost identical to Eckstein\u2019s entry, but I think Eckstein was right to use the word \u201crole\u201d instead of \u201cpicture.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>\u201cYou were made for this picture\u201d is therefore the best of the last three entries, but it\u2019s not this week\u2019s winner. That honor goes to an unusually strong pun: <strong>\u201cThere just aren\u2019t any good parts.\u201d<\/strong><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>In Bob Eckstein\u2019s drawing, which is perfect for the contest because its simple premise provides such fertile ground for captions, a Hollywood agent is saying something to his client, the Frankenstein monster. \u201cFrankie Goes to Hollywood,\u201d the title I chose for this commentary, was actually submitted as a caption by two entrants, but it\u2019s not&#8230; <br \/><a class=\"more-link button\" style=\"float:right;margin:10px\" href=\"https:\/\/www.cartoonstock.com\/blog\/frankenstein-caption-contest-commentary-with-lawrence-wood\/\" rel=\"nofollow\">Continue Reading&#8230;<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":11,"featured_media":4203,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"_genesis_hide_title":false,"_genesis_hide_breadcrumbs":false,"_genesis_hide_singular_image":false,"_genesis_hide_footer_widgets":false,"_genesis_custom_body_class":"","_genesis_custom_post_class":"","_genesis_layout":"","footnotes":""},"categories":[39],"tags":[],"class_list":{"0":"post-4202","1":"post","2":"type-post","3":"status-publish","4":"format-standard","5":"has-post-thumbnail","7":"category-caption-contest-commentary","8":"entry"},"acf":[],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO plugin v27.6 - https:\/\/yoast.com\/product\/yoast-seo-wordpress\/ -->\n<title>&quot;Frankie Goes to Hollywood\u201d Caption Contest Commentary with Lawrence Wood &#8211; The CartoonStock.com Blog<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"&quot;Frankie Goes to 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