{"id":4252,"date":"2020-06-24T05:40:40","date_gmt":"2020-06-24T09:40:40","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/more.cartooncollections.com\/?p=4252"},"modified":"2020-06-24T09:47:58","modified_gmt":"2020-06-24T13:47:58","slug":"double-halos","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.cartoonstock.com\/blog\/double-halos\/","title":{"rendered":"&#8220;Double Halos&#8221; Caption Contest Commentary with Lawrence Wood"},"content":{"rendered":"<p><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"alignright wp-image-4253\" src=\"\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/06\/KendraAllenby-Caption-Contest-FINAL-double-halo-1.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"350\" height=\"259\" srcset=\"https:\/\/www.cartoonstock.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/06\/KendraAllenby-Caption-Contest-FINAL-double-halo-1.jpg 800w, https:\/\/www.cartoonstock.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/06\/KendraAllenby-Caption-Contest-FINAL-double-halo-1-300x222.jpg 300w, https:\/\/www.cartoonstock.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/06\/KendraAllenby-Caption-Contest-FINAL-double-halo-1-768x568.jpg 768w\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 350px) 100vw, 350px\" \/>This week\u2019s drawing is heaven-set. (I know, I know\u2014and I claim to dislike puns.) An angel with two halos is addressing an angel with just one. In the background are five more angels, each of whom has two halos. None of the angels has wings.<\/p>\n<p>I first assumed the angels with two halos would feel superior:<\/p>\n<ul>\n<li><strong>\u201cWell, we\u2019re holier than <em>thou<\/em>.\u201d<\/strong><\/li>\n<li><strong>\u201cYou were good, but we were great.\u201d<\/strong><\/li>\n<li><strong>\u201cWe were twice as nice.\u201d<\/strong><\/li>\n<li><strong>\u201cNot everyone is equal in His eyes.\u201d<\/strong><\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p>I then tried to explain the absence of wings with a reference to <em>It\u2019s A Wonderful Life<\/em>: <strong>\u201cNot any more. Now, when a bell rings we just get another halo.\u201d<\/strong><\/p>\n<p>Finally, a concise caption: <strong>\u201cNew here?\u201d<\/strong><\/p>\n<p>Now let\u2019s see how you did.<\/p>\n<p>Among the many entries highlighting the angels\u2019 superiority complexes, I really liked this reference to an expression that Abraham Lincoln popularized, but did not coin, in his first inaugural address: <strong>\u201cThat\u2019s right. We\u2019re the better angels.\u201d<\/strong> I\u2019d like it even more, however, without the first two words, which are unnecessary.\u00a0 This next entry is longer than my very similar caption, but the extra words make it better:<strong> \u201cIf you heard everyone was equal in the eyes of the Lord, well, you heard wrong.\u201d<\/strong> Here are the rest of the best in this category:<\/p>\n<ul>\n<li><strong>\u201cWe <em>are <\/em>holier than thou.\u201d<\/strong><\/li>\n<li><strong>\u201cWe\u2019re all holier than thou.\u201d<\/strong><\/li>\n<li><strong>\u201cYou\u2019re good, but you\u2019re not quite good enough.\u201d<\/strong><\/li>\n<li><strong>\u201cYou must have been good. We were great.\u201d<\/strong><\/li>\n<li><strong>\u201cSure, you were good. Just not <em>that<\/em> good.\u201d<\/strong><\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p>I know just enough about computers and smart phones to appreciate these tech-related entries:<\/p>\n<ul>\n<li><strong>\u201cIt\u2019s not a rule but everything in the cloud should be backed-up\u2026\u201d<\/strong><\/li>\n<li><strong>\u201cIt really improves the wifi.\u201d<\/strong><\/li>\n<li><strong>\u201cYou need to download version 2.0.\u201d<\/strong><\/li>\n<li><strong>\u201cTo be honest, the reception isn\u2019t that much better\u2026\u201d<\/strong><\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p>This entry\u2014<strong>\u201cWe were doubly blessed\u201d<\/strong>\u2014reminds me of one of my guiltiest pleasures: Meatloaf\u2019s 1978 hit, <em>Paradise by the Dashboard Light<\/em>, which contains this ridiculous but enjoyable rhyme:<\/p>\n<p><em>Ain\u2019t no doubt about it<br \/>\n<\/em><em>We were doubly blessed<br \/>\n<\/em><em>\u2018Cause we were barely seventeen and we were barely dressed<\/em><\/p>\n<p>(Admitting that I\u2019ve always liked that song\u2014I was sixteen when it came out\u2014has, I\u2019m sure, destroyed whatever credibility I gained a couple weeks ago by mentioning how much I love The Clash.)<\/p>\n<p>Since I just brought up Meatloaf\u2019s musical tribute to teenage lust, I may as well take this opportunity to highlight the week\u2019s best and most juvenile sex joke: <strong>\u201cCome back when you\u2019ve grown a pair.\u201d<\/strong> I also like, <strong>\u201cHey, buddy, my eyes are down here!\u201d<\/strong> The exclamation point, however, is unnecessary.<\/p>\n<p>These entries presume that the angels with twice as many halos lived particularly righteous lives, especially compared to the angel with just a single halo:<\/p>\n<ul>\n<li><strong>\u201cWe used to teach middle school.\u201d<\/strong><\/li>\n<li><strong>\u201cWe sorted our recyclables.\u201d<\/strong><\/li>\n<li><strong>\u201cYou didn\u2019t wear a mask.\u201d<\/strong><\/li>\n<li><strong>\u201cMaybe if you had protested.\u201d<\/strong><\/li>\n<li><strong>\u201c15%? We all tipped 20%.\u201d<\/strong><\/li>\n<li><strong>\u201cWell, did you follow the 20 Commandments?\u201d<\/strong><\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p>I\u2019d like that last caption more if the number were spelled out.<\/p>\n<p>This entry connects the single halo to the angel\u2019s religion: <strong>\u201cUnitarian?\u201d<\/strong><\/p>\n<p>Whereas these entries connect it to the angel\u2019s marital status:<\/p>\n<ul>\n<li><strong>\u201cHow long have you been single?\u201d<\/strong><\/li>\n<li><strong>\u201cSorry, this group isn\u2019t for singles.\u201d<\/strong><\/li>\n<li><strong>\u201cI see you\u2019re still single.\u201d<\/strong><\/li>\n<li><strong>\u201cAh, to be single again.\u201d <\/strong><\/li>\n<li><strong>\u201cYour mother was right\u2014you\u2019ll be eternally single.\u201d<\/strong><\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p>I love that last joke, but it could be even stronger. Mothers who worry about their unmarried children don\u2019t use the phrase &#8220;eternally single.\u201d A better version of the caption might therefore be, \u201cYour mother was right\u2014you\u2019ll be single forever.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>I also want to modify this entry: \u00a0<b>\u201cSure, jealousy is a deadly sin, but you\u2019re already dead!\u201d<\/b> Lose the exclamation point, and replace \u201cjealousy\u201d with its synonym, \u201cenvy,\u201d because envy is one of the seven deadly sins.<\/p>\n<p>As I did, one of you tried to explain why none of the angels has wings: <strong>\u201cAfter three we get the wings.\u201d<\/strong><\/p>\n<p>These captions presume that the angel with one halo just lost the other one:<\/p>\n<ul>\n<li><strong>\u201cHave you looked under the sofa?\u201d<\/strong><\/li>\n<li><strong>\u201cDid you check under the couch cushions?\u201d<\/strong><\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p>I almost skipped over this entry: <b>\u201cCareful, three strikes and you\u2019re out.\u201d<\/b> I\u2019m glad I reconsidered it, though, as it goes way beyond merely describing what\u2019s happening in the drawing<em>.<\/em> It imagines a system that rewards all new angels with three halos, takes these halos away one at a time for unspecified offenses, and eventually condemns those who commit three transgressions to hell.<\/p>\n<p>As (almost) always, I\u2019ll end with several strong captions that don\u2019t fit neatly into any category:<\/p>\n<ul>\n<li><strong>\u201cThere\u2019s always room for improvement.\u201d<\/strong><\/li>\n<li><strong>\u201cNo, three would be ostentatious.\u201d<\/strong><\/li>\n<li><strong>\u201cFor now, you just tune the harps.\u201d<\/strong><\/li>\n<li><strong>\u201cI think you\u2019re in the wrong breakout group.\u201d<\/strong><\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p>This week\u2019s winner is, \u00a0<strong>\u201c15%? We all tipped 20%.\u201d<\/strong><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>This week\u2019s drawing is heaven-set. (I know, I know\u2014and I claim to dislike puns.) An angel with two halos is addressing an angel with just one. In the background are five more angels, each of whom has two halos. None of the angels has wings. I first assumed the angels with two halos would feel&#8230; <br \/><a class=\"more-link button\" style=\"float:right;margin:10px\" href=\"https:\/\/www.cartoonstock.com\/blog\/double-halos\/\" rel=\"nofollow\">Continue Reading&#8230;<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":11,"featured_media":4254,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"_genesis_hide_title":false,"_genesis_hide_breadcrumbs":false,"_genesis_hide_singular_image":false,"_genesis_hide_footer_widgets":false,"_genesis_custom_body_class":"","_genesis_custom_post_class":"","_genesis_layout":"","footnotes":""},"categories":[39],"tags":[],"class_list":{"0":"post-4252","1":"post","2":"type-post","3":"status-publish","4":"format-standard","5":"has-post-thumbnail","7":"category-caption-contest-commentary","8":"entry"},"acf":[],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO plugin v27.4 - https:\/\/yoast.com\/product\/yoast-seo-wordpress\/ -->\n<title>&quot;Double Halos&quot; 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