{"id":4363,"date":"2020-07-22T05:26:18","date_gmt":"2020-07-22T09:26:18","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/more.cartooncollections.com\/?p=4363"},"modified":"2020-08-19T10:08:59","modified_gmt":"2020-08-19T14:08:59","slug":"trash-day-caption-contest-commentary-with-lawrence-wood","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.cartoonstock.com\/blog\/trash-day-caption-contest-commentary-with-lawrence-wood\/","title":{"rendered":"“Trash Day” Caption Contest Commentary with Lawrence Wood"},"content":{"rendered":"

\"\"Ben Schwartz\u2019s cartoon is set in the hallway of an apartment building. A resident holding a small garbage bag is standing in the doorway of his unit and addressing a suspicious-looking character who\u2019s about to shove into the trash chute what looks like a dead body wrapped in plastic and secured with rope.<\/p>\n

I first thought about rules that limit the size and weight of items that can be thrown down trach chutes:<\/p>\n

    \n
  1. \u201cHey!…That exceeds the maximum size and weight limits.\u201d<\/strong><\/li>\n
  2. \u201cYou have to take heavy objects to the ground level trash room.\u201d<\/strong><\/li>\n
  3. \u201cJust so you know, special arrangements can be made for the disposal of unusually large or heavy objects.\u201d<\/strong><\/li>\n<\/ol>\n

    The next caption, which is similar to the last three, presumes that the neighbor knows but is surprisingly blas\u00e9 about what\u2019s in the carpet: \u201cDon\u2019t shove a body down the trash chute. Take it to the ground level trash room.\u201d<\/strong><\/p>\n

    I then went in the other direction, and made the neighbor obtuse: \u201cI thought I heard gunshots in Unit 3, but it must have been a car backfiring.\u201d<\/strong><\/p>\n

    Now let\u2019s see how you did.<\/p>\n

    I\u2019ll start with the best of the \u201cobtuse neighbor\u201d entries, all of which assume that the body\u2019s wrapped not in plastic but in a rug:<\/p>\n

      \n
    1. \u201cHey! You can\u2019t put rolled-up bloody rugs down the chute!\u201d<\/strong><\/li>\n
    2. \u201cIf you don\u2019t want that rug, I\u2019ll take it.\u201d<\/strong><\/li>\n
    3. \u201cHold on! Isn\u2019t that the carpet from the lobby?<\/strong><\/li>\n
    4. \u201cI thought you loved that rug.\u201d<\/strong><\/li>\n<\/ol>\n

      Many of you had the neighbor\/witness worrying for his own safety:<\/p>\n

        \n
      1. \u201cUm\u2026I\u2019ll just throw this out later.\u201d<\/strong><\/li>\n
      2. \u201cOops, forgot my glasses. Can\u2019t see a thing without them.\u201d<\/strong><\/li>\n
      3. \u201cI don\u2019t see a thing. You\u2019re just a guy with a large croissant.\u201d<\/strong><\/li>\n<\/ol>\n

        Here\u2019s a similar entry that\u2019s especially clever because it implies that this isn\u2019t the first time the neighbor has witnessed a serious crime: \u201cHere I go again, right back into witness protection.\u201d<\/strong><\/p>\n

        There were a lot of wife jokes, but these were the best:<\/p>\n

          \n
        1. \u201cI haven\u2019t seen your wife in a while.\u201d<\/strong><\/li>\n
        2. \u201cHi, Frank. How\u2019s the wife?\u201d<\/strong><\/li>\n
        3. \u201cHow\u2019s the wife?\u201d<\/strong><\/li>\n
        4. \u201cJesus, Ed. Just get a divorce like the rest of us.\u201d<\/strong><\/li>\n
        5. \u201cDoesn\u2019t your wife usually take out the trash?\u201d<\/strong><\/li>\n
        6. \u201cDid you and your wife ever see that marriage counselor I told you about?\u201d<\/strong><\/li>\n<\/ol>\n

          That sixth entry would be stronger without the last four words. The caption should end with the punch line: \u201cmarriage counselor.\u201d The words that follow add nothing.<\/p>\n

          I love the following captions, all of which assume the neighbor is another murderer or maybe the accomplice:<\/p>\n

            \n
          1. \u201cWho am I to judge? There\u2019s a head in this bag.\u201d<\/strong><\/li>\n
          2. \u201cHey, mind if I go first? I only have a head.\u201d<\/strong><\/li>\n
          3. \u201cMake it quick. This head is really heavy.\u201d<\/strong><\/li>\n
          4. \u201cWait, you forgot his hands.\u201d<\/strong><\/li>\n
          5. \u201cMaybe I should throw the head in first.\u201d<\/strong><\/li>\n
          6. \u201cYou forgot the head.\u201d<\/strong><\/li>\n<\/ol>\n

            No fewer than three entrants submitted that last caption, so if Mankoff decides it\u2019s the best of the week or one of the two runners-up, he will have to give credit to someone whose name he chooses at random (ed. note: in that case, the winner would be the person who entered it first).<\/p>\n

            Like I did, many of you highlighted the fact that the corpse is too big for the chute:<\/p>\n

              \n
            1. \u201cHey! Oversize items get brought to the basement.\u201d<\/strong><\/li>\n
            2. \u201cThe last time you did that, you clogged the chute.\u201d<\/strong><\/li>\n
            3. \u201cI think bodies are supposed to be left by the curb.\u201d<\/strong><\/li>\n
            4. \u201cHey, that exceeds the building\u2019s 13 gallon bag limit.\u201d<\/strong><\/li>\n
            5. \u201cCan I put mine in first?\u201d<\/strong><\/li>\n<\/ol>\n

              A similar set of captions suggest a better method for disposing of murder victims:<\/p>\n

                \n
              1. \u201cHey, dump that in the East River where it belongs.\u201d<\/strong><\/li>\n
              2. \u201cWhat\u2019s wrong with the river?\u201d<\/strong><\/li>\n
              3. \u201cHey, I paid extra for the river!\u201d<\/strong><\/li>\n<\/ol>\n

                Here\u2019s this week\u2019s best pandemic joke: \u201cYou, of all people, should be wearing a mask.\u201d<\/strong><\/p>\n

                And here are the best puns:<\/p>\n

                  \n
                1. \u201cPeople have always been disposable to you.\u201d<\/strong><\/li>\n
                2. \u201cWhat\u2019s with the trash talking?\u201d<\/strong><\/li>\n<\/ol>\n

                  I especially like that second entry, which was the only one to imply that the victim was still alive. Very dark. Very funny.<\/p>\n

                  Speaking of dark, here are the week\u2019s best sick jokes, which are sure to upset animal-lovers:<\/p>\n

                    \n
                  1. \u201cCan I go before you? I\u2019ve just got a bag of cats.\u201d<\/strong><\/li>\n
                  2. \u201cMine\u2019s a cat. What\u2019s yours?\u201d<\/strong><\/li>\n<\/ol>\n

                    Equally dark are these captions that have the neighbor offering helpful advice:<\/p>\n

                      \n
                    1. \u201cYou\u2019ve never heard of a saw?\u201d<\/strong><\/li>\n
                    2. \u201cBodies must be chopped up first, like this.\u201d<\/strong><\/li>\n
                    3. \u201cYou\u2019re supposed to cut it up first.\u201d<\/strong><\/li>\n<\/ol>\n

                      These two entries provide a possible motive for the crime:<\/p>\n

                        \n
                      1. \u201cYou realize I\u2019m reporting this, unless that\u2019s the guy who plays bagpipes.\u201d <\/strong><\/li>\n
                      2. \u201cHow are Mary\u2019s ukulele lessons going?\u201d<\/strong><\/li>\n<\/ol>\n

                        As an attorney who defends low-income tenants against unwarranted evictions, I \u00a0especially like this final entry, which assumes that the murderer is a landlord: \u201cYou\u2019ll have my rent by Tuesday.\u201d<\/strong><\/p>\n

                        What a strong collection of captions. Several made me laugh out loud, but the one that made me laugh the hardest was, \u201cWho am I to judge? There\u2019s a head in this bag.\u201d<\/strong> My wife completely disagrees\u2014she says I should have chosen, \u201cHey, dump that in the East River where it belongs\u201d\u2014but she can get her own contest.<\/p>\n

                        ENTER THIS WEEK’S CAPTION CONTEST<\/a><\/p>\n

                        Lawrence Wood has won The New Yorker\u2019s Cartoon Caption Contest a record-setting seven times and been a finalist two other times. He has collaborated with New Yorker cartoonists Peter Kuper, Lila Ash, Felipe Galindo Gomez, and Harry Bliss (until Bliss tossed him aside, as anyone would, to collaborate with Steve Martin). Nine of his collaborations have appeared in The New Yorker, and one is included in the New Yorker Encyclopedia of Cartoons. <\/em><\/p>\n

                         <\/p>\n

                         <\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

                        Ben Schwartz\u2019s cartoon is set in the hallway of an apartment building. A resident holding a small garbage bag is standing in the doorway of his unit and addressing a suspicious-looking character who\u2019s about to shove into the trash chute what looks like a dead body wrapped in plastic and secured with rope. I first…
                        Continue Reading…<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":11,"featured_media":4364,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"_genesis_hide_title":false,"_genesis_hide_breadcrumbs":false,"_genesis_hide_singular_image":false,"_genesis_hide_footer_widgets":false,"_genesis_custom_body_class":"","_genesis_custom_post_class":"","_genesis_layout":"","footnotes":""},"categories":[39],"tags":[],"class_list":{"0":"post-4363","1":"post","2":"type-post","3":"status-publish","4":"format-standard","5":"has-post-thumbnail","7":"category-caption-contest-commentary","8":"entry"},"acf":[],"yoast_head":"\n"Trash Day" Caption Contest Commentary with Lawrence Wood – The CartoonStock.com Blog<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\""Trash Day" Caption Contest Commentary with Lawrence Wood – CartoonStock.com\" \/>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, 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