{"id":4597,"date":"2020-09-22T11:25:50","date_gmt":"2020-09-22T15:25:50","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/more.cartooncollections.com\/?p=4597"},"modified":"2020-09-22T11:25:50","modified_gmt":"2020-09-22T15:25:50","slug":"fired-wizard-caption-contest-commentary-with-lawrence-wood","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.cartoonstock.com\/blog\/fired-wizard-caption-contest-commentary-with-lawrence-wood\/","title":{"rendered":"&#8220;Fired Wizard&#8221; Caption Contest Commentary with Lawrence Wood"},"content":{"rendered":"<p><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"alignright wp-image-4542\" src=\"\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/09\/Lars-Batch-CC-Caption-Contest-3-9.jpg\" alt=\"Caption Contest\" width=\"350\" height=\"325\" srcset=\"https:\/\/www.cartoonstock.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/09\/Lars-Batch-CC-Caption-Contest-3-9.jpg 800w, https:\/\/www.cartoonstock.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/09\/Lars-Batch-CC-Caption-Contest-3-9-300x279.jpg 300w, https:\/\/www.cartoonstock.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/09\/Lars-Batch-CC-Caption-Contest-3-9-768x713.jpg 768w\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 350px) 100vw, 350px\" \/>In Lars Kenseth\u2019s cartoon, an office worker and a wizard are either in an elevator or waiting for an elevator. The wizard is carrying a cardboard box filled with files and a tape dispenser, suggesting that he was just fired and told to clear out his desk. The wizard is speaking.<\/p>\n<p>I first thought of the software program called Wizard:<\/p>\n<ul>\n<li><strong>\u201cYou know what hurts? The software that\u2019s replacing me is actually called Wizard.\u201d<\/strong><\/li>\n<li><strong>\u201cGuess what they call the software that\u2019s replacing me.\u201d<\/strong><\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p>I then considered reasons the wizard might have been fired:<\/p>\n<ul>\n<li><strong>\u201cI turned my supervisor into a mouse, which apparently is insubordination.\u201d<\/strong><\/li>\n<li><strong>\u201cInstead of using my magical powers to increase profits, I made myself invisible and hid in the ladies\u2019 room.\u201d<\/strong><\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p>I then thought about the consequences of discharging someone with magical powers: <strong>\u201cThey are <em>really<\/em> going to regret firing someone who casts spells.\u201d<\/strong><\/p>\n<p>But what if he\u2019s not a real wizard? <strong>\u201cIf I actually had magical powers, would I be taking the elevator?\u201d<\/strong><\/p>\n<p>Finally, and surprisingly for someone who\u2019s not a huge fan of wordplay, I came up with a pun: <strong>\u201cWell, I\u2019m not an <em>accounting<\/em> wiz.\u201d <\/strong><\/p>\n<p>Now let\u2019s see how you did:<\/p>\n<p>There were so many puns, a good number of which were decent, that I had to split them up into groups.<\/p>\n<p>There were puns about spells:<\/p>\n<ul>\n<li><strong>\u201cI made too many spelling errors.\u201d<\/strong><\/li>\n<li><strong>\u201cSpell check isn\u2019t what I thought it was.\u201d<\/strong><\/li>\n<li><strong>\u201cI underestimated spell-check.\u201d<\/strong><\/li>\n<li><strong>\u201cDamn spell checker.\u201d<\/strong><\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p>And magic:<\/p>\n<ul>\n<li><strong>\u201cThe corporate world has lost its magic.\u201d<\/strong><\/li>\n<li><strong>\u201cThe magic is gone.\u201d<\/strong><\/li>\n<li><strong>\u201c\u2026and I\u2019m taking all my magic markers.\u201d<\/strong><\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p>And wands (or staffs):<\/p>\n<ul>\n<li><strong>\u201c\u2026but I really <em>was<\/em> talking about my wand.\u201d<\/strong><\/li>\n<li><strong>\u201cOne must learn to keep one\u2019s wand in one\u2019s robe.\u201d<\/strong><\/li>\n<li><strong>\u201cMy staff turned on me.\u201d<\/strong><\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p>And wizards:<\/p>\n<ul>\n<li><strong>\u201cI never said I was a financial wizard.\u201d<\/strong><\/li>\n<li><strong>\u201cI\u2019m not a financial wizard.\u201d<\/strong><\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p>Though I\u2019m usually urging you all to avoid exclamation points and italics and underling and all-caps, and to submit jokes that are more understated, I think those last two captions would be better if the word \u201cfinancial\u201d were italicized.<\/p>\n<p>The best pun was, <strong>\u201cI\u2019m a victim of outsorcery.\u201d<\/strong><\/p>\n<p>Before leaving the section on wordplay, I want to address the two puns that began with ellipses. Unless they\u2019re used to indicate that a word or phrase has been omitted from a quoted passage, which is not how they\u2019re used in captions, ellipses express hesitation, a change of mood, suspense, or a thought that\u2019s trailing off. They can therefore work in the middle or at the end of a caption\u2014though they\u2019re rarely necessary\u2014but not at the beginning. Avoid them. They\u2019re distracting.<\/p>\n<p>There were several entries about the wizard\u2019s robe and hat, which are not appropriate office attire:<\/p>\n<ul>\n<li><strong>\u201cApparently there\u2019s a dress code.\u201d<\/strong><\/li>\n<li><strong>\u201cI can\u2019t work where there\u2019s a dress code.\u201d<\/strong><\/li>\n<li><strong>\u201cDamn dress code.\u201d<\/strong><\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p>Some of you noted that, given his powers of prediction, the wizard should not have been surprised by his termination:<\/p>\n<ul>\n<li><strong>\u201cWell, I probably should have seen that coming.\u201d<\/strong><\/li>\n<li><strong>\u201cI should\u2019ve seen this coming.\u201d<\/strong><\/li>\n<li><strong>\u201cI didn\u2019t see it coming.\u201d<\/strong><\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p>Some of you suggested the wizard was the target of an unlawful discharge:<\/p>\n<ul>\n<li><strong>\u201cOf course it\u2019s age discrimination. I\u2019m 347 years old.\u201d <\/strong><\/li>\n<li><strong>\u201cYou reach 600 and they have no use for you.\u201d<\/strong><\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p>I\u2019d like that last caption better if \u201creach\u201d were replaced with \u201cturn.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Others assumed the wizard engaged in misconduct:<\/p>\n<ul>\n<li><strong>\u201cI don\u2019t suppose you know how to turn a stapler back into a corporate lawyer?\u201d <\/strong><\/li>\n<li><strong>\u201cI suppose I shouldn\u2019t have turned the head of Accounting into a hamster.\u201d<\/strong><\/li>\n<li><strong>\u201cYou turn <em>one<\/em> colleague into a cat.\u201d<\/strong><\/li>\n<li><strong>\u201cApparently, asking your receptionist to hold your staff is a fireable offense.\u201d<\/strong><\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p>I don\u2019t think fireable is a word. Try terminable.<\/p>\n<p>One entrant assumed the wizard was the victim of downsizing: <strong>\u201cThey made my position disappear.\u201d<\/strong><\/p>\n<p>Others assumed he was discharged for poor performance:<\/p>\n<ul>\n<li><strong>\u201cHell, if I was any good I wouldn\u2019t need an elevator.\u201d<\/strong><\/li>\n<li><strong>\u201cThey expected miracles.\u201d<\/strong><\/li>\n<li><strong>\u201cFired. Like anyone could have predicted how 2020 was going to unfold.\u201d<\/strong><\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p>That last caption would be better without the first word. \u201cFired\u201d explains the joke too much. It\u2019s unnecessary.<\/p>\n<p>Like I did, some of you noted there could be unanticipated consequences of firing a wizard:<\/p>\n<ul>\n<li><strong>\u201cLet me know when the boss gets my magic wand out of his ass.\u201d<\/strong><\/li>\n<li><strong>\u201cAnd you enjoy being a newt, Tyler.\u201d<\/strong><\/li>\n<li><strong>\u201cYou\u2019ll get your neck back when I get my severance pay.\u201d<\/strong><\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p>The next five entries assume that the terminated wizard is, as one might expect, bitter:<\/p>\n<ul>\n<li><strong>\u201cAfter 35 years, all I get is a cheap watch I have to turn into gold myself.\u201d<\/strong><\/li>\n<li><strong>\u201cGood luck getting Stevens to fend off any dragons.\u201d <\/strong><\/li>\n<li><strong>\u201cI gave them the best centuries of my life.\u201d<\/strong><\/li>\n<li><strong>\u201cI gave those bastards the best centuries of my life.\u201d<\/strong><\/li>\n<li><strong>\u201cNobody fires the Wiz.\u201d<\/strong><\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p>Entries 3 and 4 are nearly identical, but \u201cthose bastards\u201d is fitting and funnier than \u201cthem.\u201d The last entry is a nice reference to \u201cNobody Beats The Wiz,\u201d an old chain of electronics stores and the inspiration for a memorable scene from a Seinfeld episode (<em>The Junk Mail<\/em>) in which Elaine falls for the chain\u2019s mascot, played by the great Toby Huss.<\/p>\n<p>In the last caption I\u2019m choosing to highlight, the wizard isn\u2019t bitter at all, as he knows he has other job prospects: <strong>\u201cI\u2019m not worried. The White House is hiring magical thinkers.\u201d<\/strong> That\u2019s the week\u2019s best topical joke. But the week\u2019s best caption is, much to my surprise, a pun: <strong>\u201cI\u2019m a victim of outsorcery.\u201d<\/strong><\/p>\n<p align=\"center\"><a href=\"https:\/\/cartoonstock.com\/blog\/cartoon-caption-contest\/\" class=\"button\">ENTER THIS WEEK&#8217;S CAPTION CONTEST<\/a><\/p>\n<p>  <em>Lawrence Wood has won The New Yorker\u2019s Cartoon Caption Contest a record-setting seven times and been a finalist two other times. He has collaborated with New Yorker cartoonists Peter Kuper, Lila Ash, Felipe Galindo Gomez, and Harry Bliss (until Bliss tossed him aside, as anyone would, to collaborate with Steve Martin). Nine of his collaborations have appeared in The New Yorker, and one is included in the New Yorker Encyclopedia of Cartoons. <\/em><\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>In Lars Kenseth\u2019s cartoon, an office worker and a wizard are either in an elevator or waiting for an elevator. The wizard is carrying a cardboard box filled with files and a tape dispenser, suggesting that he was just fired and told to clear out his desk. The wizard is speaking. I first thought of&#8230; <br \/><a class=\"more-link button\" style=\"float:right;margin:10px\" href=\"https:\/\/www.cartoonstock.com\/blog\/fired-wizard-caption-contest-commentary-with-lawrence-wood\/\" rel=\"nofollow\">Continue Reading&#8230;<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":11,"featured_media":4598,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"_genesis_hide_title":false,"_genesis_hide_breadcrumbs":false,"_genesis_hide_singular_image":false,"_genesis_hide_footer_widgets":false,"_genesis_custom_body_class":"","_genesis_custom_post_class":"","_genesis_layout":"","footnotes":""},"categories":[39],"tags":[],"class_list":{"0":"post-4597","1":"post","2":"type-post","3":"status-publish","4":"format-standard","5":"has-post-thumbnail","7":"category-caption-contest-commentary","8":"entry"},"acf":[],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO plugin v27.3 - https:\/\/yoast.com\/product\/yoast-seo-wordpress\/ -->\n<title>&quot;Fired Wizard&quot; 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