{"id":4824,"date":"2020-12-01T13:45:41","date_gmt":"2020-12-01T18:45:41","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/more.cartooncollections.com\/?p=4824"},"modified":"2020-12-01T13:45:41","modified_gmt":"2020-12-01T18:45:41","slug":"bald-superhero-caption-contest-commentary-with-lawrence-wood","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.cartoonstock.com\/blog\/bald-superhero-caption-contest-commentary-with-lawrence-wood\/","title":{"rendered":"\u201cBald Superhero\u201d Caption Contest Commentary with Lawrence Wood"},"content":{"rendered":"<p><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"alignright wp-image-4798\" src=\"\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/11\/superman.jpg\" alt=\"caption contest\" width=\"350\" height=\"336\" srcset=\"https:\/\/www.cartoonstock.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/11\/superman.jpg 800w, https:\/\/www.cartoonstock.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/11\/superman-300x288.jpg 300w, https:\/\/www.cartoonstock.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/11\/superman-768x736.jpg 768w\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 350px) 100vw, 350px\" \/>Evan Lian has drawn a bald Superman putting his toupee on (or taking it off) a wig stand. Next to him is a woman\u2014Lois, I assume\u2014who\u2019s wearing a bathrobe and holding a cup of coffee. Superman is speaking to her.<\/p>\n<p>I immediately thought of Lex Luthor, Superman\u2019s bald adversary, and imagined Superman admiring his archrival\u2019s decision to forego a hairpiece: <strong>\u201cI wish I had Luthor\u2019s confidence.\u201d<\/strong><\/p>\n<p>I next imagined Superman envying those superheroes whose costumes cover their heads: <strong>\u201cI wouldn\u2019t have to do this if I were Batman.\u201d<\/strong><\/p>\n<p>Here\u2019s a reference to Superman\u2019s most famous line: <strong>\u201cI used to have a beautiful head of hair. Then one day\u2026up, up and away.\u201d<\/strong><\/p>\n<p>And here\u2019s a reference to the green, crystalline material that is Superman\u2019s Achilles\u2019 heel: <strong>\u201cKryptonite isn\u2019t lethal, but it does result in hair loss.\u201d <\/strong><\/p>\n<p>Now let\u2019s see how you did.<\/p>\n<p>There were a lot of references to Superman\u2019s bald nemesis:<\/p>\n<ul>\n<li><strong>&#8220;I&#8217;m beginning to understand why Lex Luthor is so full of rage.&#8221;<\/strong><\/li>\n<li><strong>\u201cNow I understand why Lex Luthor turned evil.&#8221;<\/strong><\/li>\n<li><strong>&#8220;I owe Lex an apology.&#8221;<\/strong><\/li>\n<li><strong>\u201cDon\u2019t tell Lex.\u201d<\/strong><\/li>\n<li><strong>&#8220;I don&#8217;t want to give Lex the satisfaction.&#8221;<\/strong><\/li>\n<li><strong>&#8220;I wish I could pull off bald like that bastard Lex.&#8221;<\/strong><\/li>\n<li><strong>&#8220;Well, I don&#8217;t want to be mistaken for Lex Luthor.&#8221;<\/strong><\/li>\n<li><strong>&#8220;It turns out I&#8217;m my own worst enemy.&#8221;<\/strong><\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p>That last entry\u2014which, like many captions I highlight in these commentaries, gives a common phrase a different meaning in the context of the drawing\u2014is rather elegant, as it doesn\u2019t even mention Lex Luthor by name.<\/p>\n<p>The next four entries show that Superman is at least somewhat ashamed of his inability to embrace his baldness:<\/p>\n<ul>\n<li><strong>&#8220;Vanity is my true kryptonite.&#8221;<\/strong><\/li>\n<li><strong>&#8220;Vanity is my other kryptonite.&#8221;<\/strong><\/li>\n<li><strong>&#8220;It&#8217;s true. I&#8217;m also Super Vain.&#8221;<\/strong><\/li>\n<li><strong>\u201cI&#8217;m torn between vanity and aerodynamics.&#8221;<\/strong><\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p>Like that last caption, these two entries acknowledge that a bald head provides less resistance than a full head of hair:<\/p>\n<ul>\n<li><strong>&#8220;On the other hand, I fly faster without it.&#8221;<\/strong><\/li>\n<li><strong>&#8220;It does look good, but it creates a lot of drag.&#8221;<\/strong><\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p>The next two captions suggest that Superman is using more than a toupee to improve his appearance:<\/p>\n<ul>\n<li><strong>\u201cI\u2019ve also been stuffing a sock in my tights.\u201d <\/strong><\/li>\n<li><strong>&#8220;I also put a sock in my tights.&#8221;<\/strong><\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p>But he may not be the only vain superhero: <strong>&#8220;I heard Batman just got a tummy tuck.&#8221;<\/strong><\/p>\n<p>These entries acknowledge the problem of keeping one\u2019s toupee in place while soaring through the air:<\/p>\n<ul>\n<li><strong>&#8220;A big gust of wind could really hurt my image.&#8221;<\/strong><\/li>\n<li><strong>&#8220;High winds are my kryptonite.&#8221;<\/strong><\/li>\n<li><strong>\u201cMy last one went up, up, and away.&#8221;<\/strong><\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p>While these puns suggest a solution:<\/p>\n<ul>\n<li><strong>\u201cThis looks like a job for&#8230;super glue.&#8221;<\/strong><\/li>\n<li><strong>\u201cHand me the Super glue.\u201d<\/strong><\/li>\n<li><strong>&#8220;Get the superglue.&#8221;<\/strong><\/li>\n<li><strong>\u201cSuperglue.\u201d<\/strong><\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p>Speaking of puns:<\/p>\n<ul>\n<li><strong>&#8220;The doctor says I have supermale pattern baldness.&#8221;<\/strong><\/li>\n<li><strong>&#8220;It\u2019s from Hairclub for Super Men.&#8221;<\/strong><\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p>This caption is similar to the last one, but not a pun: <strong>\u201cI&#8217;m leaving Justice League and joining Hair Club.&#8221;<\/strong><\/p>\n<p>The next six entries explain how Superman lost his hair:<\/p>\n<ul>\n<li><strong>&#8220;Someone put kryptonite in my shampoo.\u201d<\/strong><\/li>\n<li><strong>&#8220;Apparently kryptonite also causes hair loss.\u201d<\/strong><\/li>\n<li><strong>&#8220;Turns out X-ray vision gives off a ton of radiation.&#8221;<\/strong><\/li>\n<li><strong>\u201cDo you have any idea how much radiation is in kryptonite?\u201d<\/strong><\/li>\n<li><strong>\u201cSo much testosterone has its down side.\u201d<\/strong><\/li>\n<li><strong>&#8220;Unfortunately, I&#8217;m also invulnerable to Rogaine.&#8221;<\/strong><\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p>Here are a few references to common phrases associated with Superman:<\/p>\n<ul>\n<li><strong>\u201cMy hairline went up, up, and away.&#8221;<\/strong><\/li>\n<li><strong>&#8220;It receded faster than a speeding bullet.&#8221;<\/strong><\/li>\n<li><strong>\u201c<\/strong><strong>I can stop a speeding locomotive, but not a receding hairline.&#8221;<\/strong><\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p>These entries note the bald Superman\u2019s resemblance to other animated characters, including Mr. Clean:<\/p>\n<ul>\n<li><strong>&#8220;I should have been a grime fighter with an earring.&#8221;<\/strong><\/li>\n<li><strong>&#8220;Now back to being plain old Caillou.&#8221;<\/strong><\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p>Most of this week\u2019s entries ignored the woman standing next to Superman, but there were a few notable exceptions:<\/p>\n<ul>\n<li><strong>\u201cMy last secret, Lois. I swear, my last secret.\u201d<\/strong><\/li>\n<li><strong>\u201cLois, I don&#8217;t want coffee. I want hair.\u201d<\/strong><\/li>\n<li><strong>&#8220;We&#8217;ve both changed, Lois.\u201d<\/strong><\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p>And here\u2019s an equally clever reference to Superman\u2019s alter-ego, Clark Kent:<strong> &#8220;I can&#8217;t afford a hair transplant on a reporter&#8217;s pay.&#8221;<\/strong><\/p>\n<p>Here\u2019s the week\u2019s best topical caption: <strong>&#8220;I usually just paint it on, but after what happened to Rudy&#8230;&#8221;<\/strong><\/p>\n<p>Here\u2019s the best entry that came out of left field: <strong>&#8220;I know the S stands for skinhead but I am considering a new look.&#8221;<\/strong><\/p>\n<p>And here are several entries that highlight Superman\u2019s regret, pain and sadness:<\/p>\n<ul>\n<li><strong>&#8220;So much has changed. Remember phone booths?&#8221;<\/strong><\/li>\n<li><strong>&#8220;I wish my hair follicles were made of steel.&#8221;<\/strong><\/li>\n<li><strong>&#8220;First I lose my planet, and now this.&#8221;<\/strong><\/li>\n<li><strong>&#8220;Supervillains can be so cruel.&#8221;<\/strong><\/li>\n<li><strong>&#8220;The only thing I&#8217;m fighting is my midlife crisis.&#8221;<\/strong><\/li>\n<li><strong>&#8220;It&#8217;s the only thing about me that&#8217;s not super.&#8221;<\/strong><\/li>\n<li><strong>&#8220;It used to be kryptonite, now it&#8217;s male pattern baldness.&#8221;<\/strong><\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p>To avoid ending on such a depressing note, let me congratulate the fifty-one entrants who submitted captions that warranted special attention. That\u2019s a record. I can\u2019t limit myself to highlighting just one of them, so I\u2019m selecting a winner\u2014<strong>\u201cMy hairline went up, up, and away.&#8221;<\/strong>\u2014and two runners-up:<\/p>\n<ul>\n<li><strong>&#8220;I wish I could pull off bald like that bastard Lex.&#8221;<\/strong><\/li>\n<li><strong>&#8220;Someone put kryptonite in my shampoo.\u201d<\/strong><\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p align=\"center\"><a href=\"https:\/\/cartoonstock.com\/blog\/cartoon-caption-contest\/\" class=\"button\">ENTER THIS WEEK&#8217;S CAPTION CONTEST<\/a><\/p>\n<p>  <em>Lawrence Wood has won The New Yorker\u2019s Cartoon Caption Contest a record-setting seven times and been a finalist two other times. He has collaborated with New Yorker cartoonists Peter Kuper, Lila Ash, Felipe Galindo Gomez, and Harry Bliss (until Bliss tossed him aside, as anyone would, to collaborate with Steve Martin). Nine of his collaborations have appeared in The New Yorker, and one is included in the New Yorker Encyclopedia of Cartoons.<\/em><\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Evan Lian has drawn a bald Superman putting his toupee on (or taking it off) a wig stand. Next to him is a woman\u2014Lois, I assume\u2014who\u2019s wearing a bathrobe and holding a cup of coffee. Superman is speaking to her. I immediately thought of Lex Luthor, Superman\u2019s bald adversary, and imagined Superman admiring his archrival\u2019s&#8230; <br \/><a class=\"more-link button\" style=\"float:right;margin:10px\" href=\"https:\/\/www.cartoonstock.com\/blog\/bald-superhero-caption-contest-commentary-with-lawrence-wood\/\" rel=\"nofollow\">Continue Reading&#8230;<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":3,"featured_media":4825,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"_genesis_hide_title":false,"_genesis_hide_breadcrumbs":false,"_genesis_hide_singular_image":false,"_genesis_hide_footer_widgets":false,"_genesis_custom_body_class":"","_genesis_custom_post_class":"","_genesis_layout":"","footnotes":""},"categories":[39],"tags":[],"class_list":{"0":"post-4824","1":"post","2":"type-post","3":"status-publish","4":"format-standard","5":"has-post-thumbnail","7":"category-caption-contest-commentary","8":"entry"},"acf":[],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO plugin v27.6 - https:\/\/yoast.com\/product\/yoast-seo-wordpress\/ -->\n<title>\u201cBald Superhero\u201d Caption Contest Commentary with Lawrence Wood &#8211; The CartoonStock.com Blog<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"\u201cBald Superhero\u201d Caption Contest 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