{"id":4834,"date":"2020-12-08T12:00:24","date_gmt":"2020-12-08T17:00:24","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/more.cartooncollections.com\/?p=4834"},"modified":"2020-12-08T12:00:24","modified_gmt":"2020-12-08T17:00:24","slug":"cyborg-check-up-caption-contest-commentary-with-lawrence-wood","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.cartoonstock.com\/blog\/cyborg-check-up-caption-contest-commentary-with-lawrence-wood\/","title":{"rendered":"\u201cCyborg Check Up\u201d Caption Contest Commentary with Lawrence Wood"},"content":{"rendered":"<p><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"alignright wp-image-4811\" src=\"\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/11\/Lars-Batch-CC-Caption-Contest-3-15.jpg\" alt=\"Caption Contest\" width=\"350\" height=\"280\" srcset=\"https:\/\/www.cartoonstock.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/11\/Lars-Batch-CC-Caption-Contest-3-15.jpg 800w, https:\/\/www.cartoonstock.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/11\/Lars-Batch-CC-Caption-Contest-3-15-300x240.jpg 300w, https:\/\/www.cartoonstock.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/11\/Lars-Batch-CC-Caption-Contest-3-15-768x614.jpg 768w\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 350px) 100vw, 350px\" \/>In Lars Kenseth\u2019s drawing, a cyborg is sitting on what appears to be an examining table, while a woman who\u2019s wearing a lab coat and writing on a clip board addresses him.<\/p>\n<p>I first imagined the cyborg suffering from and seeking treatment for oxidation:<\/p>\n<ul>\n<li><strong>\u201cYou need less fresh air.\u201d<\/strong><\/li>\n<li><strong>\u201cIt\u2019s not arthritis. It\u2019s rust.\u201d<\/strong><\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p>I then focused on the cyborg\u2019s left eye, which is covered as if he\u2019s at the optometrist\u2019s office for an exam: <strong>\u201cGood. Now cover your other eye.\u201d <\/strong><\/p>\n<p>Doctors sometimes use a small rubber hammer to tap firmly on the tendon just below the patient\u2019s kneecap. The normal response is a \u201cknee-jerk reflex,\u201d but a sudden kicking movement from a cyborg could prove fatal:<\/p>\n<ul>\n<li><strong>\u201cThe last doctor who tapped your knee got kicked right through the wall.\u201d<\/strong><\/li>\n<li><strong>\u201cJust to be safe, I\u2019m going to stand to the side when I tap your knee.\u201d<\/strong><\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p>I then thought about the question that doctors ask to get a subjective assessment of the patient\u2019s level of physical discomfort: <strong>\u201cAnd on a pain scale of 0-10&#8230;zero again?\u201d<\/strong><\/p>\n<p>I next imagined the doctor referring her patient to a specialist: <strong>\u201cI\u2019m going to refer you to a roboticist.\u201d<\/strong><\/p>\n<p>Finally, I suggested that the cyborg\u2019s problem was psychosomatic: <strong>\u201cThe pain is all in your head, which we can remove.\u201d<\/strong><\/p>\n<p>Now let\u2019s see how you did:<\/p>\n<p>A couple of entries focused on words that have a meaning in the context of both medicine and computer technology:<\/p>\n<ul>\n<li><strong>\u201cIt\u2019s a virus.\u201d<\/strong><\/li>\n<li><strong>\u201cIt\u2019s a feature, not a bug.\u201d<\/strong><\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p>Other entries focused on a common complaint that affects older patients and could also be a problem for cyborgs:<\/p>\n<ul>\n<li><strong>\u201cSubject complains of stiff joints.\u201d<\/strong><\/li>\n<li><strong>\u201cAt your age, some stiffness is perfectly normal.\u201d<\/strong><\/li>\n<li><strong>\u201cAny stiffness?\u201d<\/strong><\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p>Here are the week\u2019s best sex jokes:<\/p>\n<ul>\n<li><strong>\u201cI\u2019ve determined your sexual performance issues are due to lack of genitalia.\u201d<\/strong><\/li>\n<li><strong>\u201cAre you winking at me?\u201d<\/strong><\/li>\n<li><strong>\u201cYes, Pfizer makes a little blue battery.\u201d<\/strong><\/li>\n<li><strong>\u201cYou had me at I am a sex robot.\u201d<\/strong><\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p>That first caption would be better without the word \u201csexual\u201d\u2014let the final word or phrase explain the joke\u2014and the last caption would be better without the words \u201cI am a.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>While we\u2019re on the topic of removing unnecessary words, consider this entry: <strong>\u201cHonestly, Mr. Klepman, you\u2019re running out of things to replace.\u201d <\/strong>I like that, but I could do without \u201cMr. Klepman.\u201d Sometimes the inclusion of a character\u2019s name can make the caption funnier, but an unusual name is a distraction that shifts the focus away from and therefore undermines the main joke. More innocuous last names (e.g., Johnson, Jenkins, Perkins) work best. Even when you\u2019re trying to highlight the character\u2019s ethnic background\u2014and in this case, the idea of a Jewish cyborg is kind of funny\u2014go with a somewhat common ethnic name (e.g., Goldberg, Rosen, Silverman). And in this caption, I don\u2019t think a name was even necessary.<\/p>\n<p>Here\u2019s a superior version of one of my captions: <strong>\u201cI\u2019m referring you to my mechanic.\u201d<\/strong><\/p>\n<p>Several entries turned on the double-meaning of the word \u201ciron.\u201d Some suggested the cyborg did not have enough:<\/p>\n<ul>\n<li><strong>\u201cYou need more iron.\u201d<\/strong><\/li>\n<li><strong>\u201cYou have an iron deficiency.\u201d<\/strong><\/li>\n<li><strong>\u201cAs strange as this may sound, you have an iron deficiency.\u201d<\/strong><\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p>Others suggested he had too much:<\/p>\n<ul>\n<li><strong>\u201cYou\u2019re getting too much iron.\u201d<\/strong><\/li>\n<li><strong>\u201cI\u2019m stopping the iron supplement.\u201d<\/strong><\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p>These entries focused on medical histories:<\/p>\n<ul>\n<li><strong>\u201cDoes your family have a history of rusting?\u201d<\/strong><\/li>\n<li><strong>\u201cIs there any history of mechanical failure in your family?\u201d<\/strong><\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p>Like I did, a couple of you addressed the cyborg\u2019s left eye:<\/p>\n<ul>\n<li><strong>\u201cNow read the middle line.\u201d<\/strong><\/li>\n<li><strong>\u201cAre you sure you\u2019re getting enough optic fiber?\u201d<\/strong><\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p>These next two captions come at the drawing from a psychological angle:<\/p>\n<ul>\n<li><strong>\u201cYou need to control your electrical impulses.\u201d<\/strong><\/li>\n<li><strong>\u201cI sense some deep-seated motherboard issues.\u201d<\/strong><\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p>Finally, here are four strong captions that don\u2019t fit neatly into any category:<\/p>\n<ul>\n<li><strong>\u201cDo you have health insurance, or at least an extended warranty?\u201d<\/strong><\/li>\n<li><strong>\u201cLet\u2019s talk about that nagging metallic taste in your mouth.\u201d<\/strong><\/li>\n<li><strong>\u201cIt appears you have a broken heart.\u201d<\/strong><\/li>\n<li><strong>\u201cLet\u2019s try turning you off, and then turning you on again.\u201d <\/strong><\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p>It\u2019s been a while since I selected a sex joke as the winning entry, so this week I\u2019m going with, <strong>\u201cYes, Pfizer makes a little blue battery.\u201d<\/strong><\/p>\n<p align=\"center\"><a href=\"https:\/\/cartoonstock.com\/blog\/cartoon-caption-contest\/\" class=\"button\">ENTER THIS WEEK&#8217;S CAPTION CONTEST<\/a><\/p>\n<p>  <em>Lawrence Wood has won The New Yorker\u2019s Cartoon Caption Contest a record-setting seven times and been a finalist two other times. He has collaborated with New Yorker cartoonists Peter Kuper, Lila Ash, Felipe Galindo Gomez, and Harry Bliss (until Bliss tossed him aside, as anyone would, to collaborate with Steve Martin). Nine of his collaborations have appeared in The New Yorker, and one is included in the New Yorker Encyclopedia of Cartoons.<\/em><\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>In Lars Kenseth\u2019s drawing, a cyborg is sitting on what appears to be an examining table, while a woman who\u2019s wearing a lab coat and writing on a clip board addresses him. I first imagined the cyborg suffering from and seeking treatment for oxidation: \u201cYou need less fresh air.\u201d \u201cIt\u2019s not arthritis. It\u2019s rust.\u201d I&#8230; <br \/><a class=\"more-link button\" style=\"float:right;margin:10px\" href=\"https:\/\/www.cartoonstock.com\/blog\/cyborg-check-up-caption-contest-commentary-with-lawrence-wood\/\" rel=\"nofollow\">Continue Reading&#8230;<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":11,"featured_media":4835,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"_genesis_hide_title":false,"_genesis_hide_breadcrumbs":false,"_genesis_hide_singular_image":false,"_genesis_hide_footer_widgets":false,"_genesis_custom_body_class":"","_genesis_custom_post_class":"","_genesis_layout":"","footnotes":""},"categories":[39],"tags":[],"class_list":{"0":"post-4834","1":"post","2":"type-post","3":"status-publish","4":"format-standard","5":"has-post-thumbnail","7":"category-caption-contest-commentary","8":"entry"},"acf":[],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO plugin v27.6 - 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