{"id":4855,"date":"2020-12-15T12:12:46","date_gmt":"2020-12-15T17:12:46","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/more.cartooncollections.com\/?p=4855"},"modified":"2020-12-15T12:12:46","modified_gmt":"2020-12-15T17:12:46","slug":"santa-on-the-couch-caption-contest-commentary-with-lawrence-wood","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.cartoonstock.com\/blog\/santa-on-the-couch-caption-contest-commentary-with-lawrence-wood\/","title":{"rendered":"\u201cSanta on the Couch\u201d Caption Contest Commentary with Lawrence Wood"},"content":{"rendered":"<p><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"alignright wp-image-4827\" src=\"\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/12\/shawsantatoon.jpg\" alt=\"Caption Contest\" width=\"350\" height=\"239\" srcset=\"https:\/\/www.cartoonstock.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/12\/shawsantatoon.jpg 796w, https:\/\/www.cartoonstock.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/12\/shawsantatoon-300x205.jpg 300w, https:\/\/www.cartoonstock.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/12\/shawsantatoon-768x524.jpg 768w, https:\/\/www.cartoonstock.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/12\/shawsantatoon-570x390.jpg 570w\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 350px) 100vw, 350px\" \/>This week\u2019s contest has a prize, and it\u2019s a great one: the featured cartoon, signed by the artist (Michael Shaw), with the winning caption. If I were competing for this prize, I\u2019d be very upset with whoever decided I didn\u2019t deserve it.<\/p>\n<p>More than 1,000 people entered this contest, and now I have to disappoint all but one of them. Please remember, however, that I don\u2019t make the final decision. That\u2019s Bob Mankoff\u2019s job, so if you\u2019re mad about not winning, take it up with him.<\/p>\n<p>OK, let\u2019s begin with my captions:<\/p>\n<p>I first suggested reasons Santa might see a psychiatrist.<\/p>\n<p>Maybe he\u2019s sad: <strong>\u201cEverybody gets depressed during the holidays.\u201d<\/strong><\/p>\n<p>Or suffering from SAD: <strong>\u201c\u2019Tis the season for affective disorders.\u201d<\/strong><\/p>\n<p>Or from OCD:<\/p>\n<ul>\n<li><strong>\u201cWhy this compulsive need to check it twice?\u201d<\/strong><\/li>\n<li><strong>\u201cWhat do you think will happen if you check it only once?\u201d<\/strong><\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p>Maybe he\u2019s frustrated: <strong>\u201cNo one likes working the holidays.\u201d<\/strong><\/p>\n<p>Or worried that he\u2019s schizophrenic: <strong>\u201cNo, you\u2019re just polar.\u201d <\/strong><\/p>\n<p>Maybe he\u2019s upset because everyone stops believing in him when they grow up:<\/p>\n<ul>\n<li><strong>\u201cYou have to believe in <em>yourself<\/em>.\u201d<\/strong><\/li>\n<li><strong>\u201cAs long as you believe in yourself, who cares what others think?\u201d<\/strong><\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p>Here are a few non-OCD references to making a list:<\/p>\n<ul>\n<li><strong>\u201cNo, I\u2019m not making a list.\u201d<\/strong><\/li>\n<li><strong>\u201cA list? No, I\u2019m just taking notes.\u201d<\/strong><\/li>\n<li><strong>\u201cIt\u2019s not a list.\u201d<\/strong><\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p>And finally, I came up with some Jewish jokes:<\/p>\n<ul>\n<li><strong>\u201cYou know, a lot of us Jews have to work the holidays, too.\u201d <\/strong><\/li>\n<li><strong>\u201cYou complain a lot for someone who\u2019s not Jewish.\u201d<\/strong><\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p>Now let\u2019s see how you did.<\/p>\n<p>Many entries alluded to the fact that few people believe in Santa, but these were the best:<\/p>\n<ul>\n<li><strong>\u201cIt&#8217;s more important that you believe in yourself.\u201d<\/strong><\/li>\n<li><strong>\u201cWhen did you stop believing in yourself?&#8221;<\/strong><\/li>\n<li><strong>\u201cBut do <em>you<\/em> believe in you?\u201d<\/strong><\/li>\n<li><strong>&#8220;Listen, the president calls everything a hoax.&#8221;<\/strong><\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p>That last caption doubles as the week\u2019s best topical joke.<\/p>\n<p>These next two captions put a clever spin on the \u201cno one believes in Santa\u201d theme by suggesting that the psychiatrist\u2019s father is trying hard, though unsuccessfully, to maintain his son\u2019s na\u00efve sense of wonder:<\/p>\n<ul>\n<li><strong>&#8220;I know it&#8217;s you, Dad.&#8221;<\/strong><\/li>\n<li><strong>&#8220;Dad, I&#8217;ve known for a long time.&#8221;<\/strong><\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p>Here are the week\u2019s best puns:<\/p>\n<ul>\n<li><strong>&#8220;So what&#8217;s <em>your<\/em> secret, Santa?&#8221;<\/strong><\/li>\n<li><strong>&#8220;I&#8217;m gonna need you to wrap this up&#8221;<\/strong><\/li>\n<li><strong>&#8220;No, going to the South Pole won&#8217;t make you bipolar.&#8221;<\/strong><\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p>Here are a couple references to department store Santas:<\/p>\n<ul>\n<li><strong>\u201cMaybe they shouldn\u2019t sit on your lap.\u201d<\/strong><\/li>\n<li><strong>&#8220;Would you feel more comfortable if I sat on your lap?&#8221;<\/strong><\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p>Years ago I heard Harold Gould, the actor best known for playing the title character\u2019s father on \u201cRhoda,\u201d talk about going to see a department store Santa when he was a child. The Santa hoisted Gould onto his lap and asked him what he wanted for Christmas, and Gould told him that he didn\u2019t celebrate Christmas because he was Jewish. The Santa leaned in close and whispered that he was also Jewish. I thought of that story, which I love, when I saw this entry: <strong>\u201cNo kidding? I&#8217;m Jewish, too.&#8221;<\/strong><\/p>\n<p>Here are the best sick jokes:<\/p>\n<ul>\n<li><strong>&#8220;Don&#8217;t feel guilty. Venison is delicious.&#8221;<\/strong><\/li>\n<li><strong>&#8220;It&#8217;s not your fault that he shot his eye out.&#8221;<\/strong><\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p>Here\u2019s the best pandemic joke: <strong>&#8220;So, how do you feel about being a superspreader?&#8221;<\/strong><\/p>\n<p>And here, in a new category, is the best bestiality joke: <strong>&#8220;I&#8217;m sure you&#8217;re not the first guy to have an affair with a dancer.&#8221;<\/strong><\/p>\n<p>Several entries identified or alluded to the specific disorders that drove Santa to seek treatment, like SAD:<\/p>\n<ul>\n<li><strong>&#8220;We&#8217;re all a bit depressed after the holidays.&#8221;<\/strong><\/li>\n<li><strong>&#8220;The holidays are tough on everyone.&#8221;<\/strong><\/li>\n<li><strong>&#8220;A lot of this is seasonal.&#8221;<\/strong><\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p>Or OCD:<\/p>\n<ul>\n<li><strong>\u201cNo. Checking it twice isn&#8217;t obsessive compulsive.\u201d<\/strong><\/li>\n<li><strong>\u201cWhat if you experimented with checking some things once?\u201d<\/strong><\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p>I\u2019d like that last caption better if \u201csome things once\u201d were changed to \u201cthings just once.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>The next two captions also suggest that Santa is depressed, but not because of the holidays:<\/p>\n<ul>\n<li><strong>&#8220;Nobody can be jolly all the time.&#8221;<\/strong><\/li>\n<li><strong>&#8220;Frankly, I&#8217;d be more concerned if you did feel jolly this year.&#8221;<\/strong><\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p>Whomever submitted this entry prescribed a cure for Santa\u2019s depression: <strong>&#8220;On Xanax! On Zoloft! On Prozac and Valium!&#8221;<\/strong><\/p>\n<p>I love this next caption, which addresses not only the setting (the psychiatrist\u2019s office) but the way Christmas has been transformed from a spiritual celebration of the birth of Christ into a crass celebration of consumerism: <strong>\u201cBut then again, Christmas is not really about you, is it?\u201d<\/strong><\/p>\n<p>This next entry is similar and superior to a few of mine: <strong>&#8220;Sorry, what were you saying? I was making my list.&#8221;<\/strong><\/p>\n<p>The following three captions suggest that Santa\u2019s job\u2014delivering presents to every child in the world\u2014is taking its toll:<\/p>\n<ul>\n<li><strong>\u201cAnd you feel you&#8217;re always the one doing the giving?\u201d<\/strong><\/li>\n<li><strong>&#8220;So you feel you have nothing more to give.\u201d<\/strong><\/li>\n<li><strong>&#8220;I am sure the night before Christmas can be stressful.\u201d<\/strong><\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p>The next entry, however, suggests that the psychiatrist is oblivious to this problem: <strong>\u201cYou missed last week&#8217;s appointment on the 24th. Why was that?\u201d<\/strong><\/p>\n<p>Here, the psychiatrist gets a little Freudian: <strong>&#8220;In your dreams, a white Christmas symbolizes death.&#8221;<\/strong><\/p>\n<p>The next two entries allude to marital problems:<\/p>\n<ol>\n<li><strong>&#8220;It&#8217;s just one night a year, she needs to let you have that.&#8221;<\/strong><\/li>\n<li><strong>\u201cMaybe Mrs. Claus will come back if you give up all the ho, ho, hoes.&#8221;<\/strong><\/li>\n<\/ol>\n<p>Here\u2019s a reference to Santa\u2019s elves that doubles as a Jewish joke: <strong>\u201cI\u2019m one of Dr. Bernstein\u2019s helpers.\u201d<\/strong><\/p>\n<p>This final entry suggests that, even in therapy, Santa can\u2019t stop trying to fulfill everyone\u2019s Christmas wishes: <strong>\u201cIt&#8217;s not about what I want. It&#8217;s about what <em>you<\/em> want.\u201d<\/strong><\/p>\n<p>This week\u2019s winner is, <strong>\u201cBut then again, Christmas is not really about you, is it?&#8221;<\/strong> And here are two very strong runners-up:<\/p>\n<ul>\n<li><strong>&#8220;On Xanax! On Zoloft! On Prozac and Valium!&#8221;<\/strong><\/li>\n<li><strong>&#8220;Sorry, what were you saying? I was making my list.&#8221;<\/strong><\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p align=\"center\"><a href=\"https:\/\/cartoonstock.com\/blog\/cartoon-caption-contest\/\" class=\"button\">ENTER THIS WEEK&#8217;S CAPTION CONTEST<\/a><\/p>\n<p>  <em>Lawrence Wood has won The New Yorker\u2019s Cartoon Caption Contest a record-setting seven times and been a finalist two other times. He has collaborated with New Yorker cartoonists Peter Kuper, Lila Ash, Felipe Galindo Gomez, and Harry Bliss (until Bliss tossed him aside, as anyone would, to collaborate with Steve Martin). Nine of his collaborations have appeared in The New Yorker, and one is included in the New Yorker Encyclopedia of Cartoons.<\/em><\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>This week\u2019s contest has a prize, and it\u2019s a great one: the featured cartoon, signed by the artist (Michael Shaw), with the winning caption. If I were competing for this prize, I\u2019d be very upset with whoever decided I didn\u2019t deserve it. More than 1,000 people entered this contest, and now I have to disappoint&#8230; <br \/><a class=\"more-link button\" style=\"float:right;margin:10px\" href=\"https:\/\/www.cartoonstock.com\/blog\/santa-on-the-couch-caption-contest-commentary-with-lawrence-wood\/\" rel=\"nofollow\">Continue Reading&#8230;<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":11,"featured_media":4856,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"_genesis_hide_title":false,"_genesis_hide_breadcrumbs":false,"_genesis_hide_singular_image":false,"_genesis_hide_footer_widgets":false,"_genesis_custom_body_class":"","_genesis_custom_post_class":"","_genesis_layout":"","footnotes":""},"categories":[39],"tags":[],"class_list":{"0":"post-4855","1":"post","2":"type-post","3":"status-publish","4":"format-standard","5":"has-post-thumbnail","7":"category-caption-contest-commentary","8":"entry"},"acf":[],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with 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