{"id":5164,"date":"2020-09-08T13:41:48","date_gmt":"2020-09-08T17:41:48","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/more.cartooncollections.com\/?p=4538"},"modified":"2020-09-08T13:41:48","modified_gmt":"2020-09-08T17:41:48","slug":"hunting-suits-caption-contest-commentary-with-lawrence-wood","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.cartoonstock.com\/blog\/hunting-suits-caption-contest-commentary-with-lawrence-wood\/","title":{"rendered":"“Hunting Suits” Caption Contest Commentary with Lawrence Wood"},"content":{"rendered":"

\"CaptionKamraan Hafeez\u2019s two hunters are in a duck blind. They\u2019re by the side of a pond where a few mallards are floating next to a man in a suit who\u2019s sitting in an inner tube with a briefcase in his lap. One hunter is saying something to the other.<\/p>\n

I have never seen \u201cDuck Dynasty\u201d\u2014the wildly popular reality-TV series about a family of duck hunters\u2014but I\u2019ve heard about it. That show served as the inspiration for this caption: \u201cYou can\u2019t have the highest-rated nonfiction cable series in history without suits.\u201d<\/strong><\/p>\n

I then assumed men in suits are the intended prey:<\/p>\n

    \n
  1. \u201cHe\u2019s just a decoy. When the other suits show up, open fire.\u201d<\/strong><\/li>\n
  2. \u201cLawyers are always in-season.\u201d<\/strong><\/li>\n
  3. \u201cLawyers are never off-season.\u201d<\/strong><\/li>\n<\/ol>\n

    Here\u2019s a final lawyer joke that\u2019s not so dark: \u201cWe used to get fined for hunting off-season. Now we get sued.\u201d <\/strong><\/p>\n

    Now let\u2019s see how you did.<\/p>\n

    There were so many lawyer jokes that I had to break them up into sub-categories.<\/p>\n

    Some (like mine) suggested there\u2019s a time of year during which it\u2019s legal to hunt attorneys:<\/p>\n

      \n
    1. \u201cLawyers are always in season.\u201d<\/strong><\/li>\n
    2. \u201cIs he in season?\u201d <\/strong><\/li>\n
    3. \u201cI think we\u2019re going to need a different permit.\u201d<\/strong><\/li>\n
    4. \u201cThe one year I don\u2019t get a permit!\u201d<\/strong><\/li>\n
    5. \u201cAny limit on tax attorneys?\u201d<\/strong><\/li>\n<\/ol>\n

      A similar set of captions focused on the way duck hunters attract their prey:<\/p>\n

        \n
      1. \u201cYour duck call sounds too much like an ambulance siren.\u201d<\/strong><\/li>\n
      2. \u201cHand me the ambulance siren call.\u201d<\/strong><\/li>\n<\/ol>\n

        The following entries all make clear exactly who the target is:<\/p>\n

          \n
        1. \u201cBe careful you don\u2019t hit a duck.\u201d<\/strong><\/li>\n
        2. \u201cCareful, you might hit the ducks.\u201d<\/strong><\/li>\n
        3. \u201cMake sure you don\u2019t hit the ducks.\u201d<\/strong><\/li>\n
        4. \u201cBut you might hit a duck.\u201d<\/strong><\/li>\n
        5. \u201cThe ducks are blocking my shot.\u201d<\/strong><\/li>\n<\/ol>\n

          A couple of you made a reference to a famous line from Henry VI<\/em>, Part 2, Act IV, Scene 2: “The first thing we do, let’s kill all the lawyers.”
          \n<\/u><\/p>\n

            \n
          1. \u201cThe first thing we do\u2026no, wait, that will scare away the ducks.\u201d<\/strong><\/li>\n
          2. \u201cWhat would Shakespeare do?\u201d<\/strong><\/li>\n<\/ol>\n

            Here\u2019s a good joke \u2013 \u201cDamn! They got a lawyer!\u201d<\/strong> \u2013 that has two unnecessary exclamation points. Fortunately, there were some understated and therefore funnier alternatives:<\/p>\n

              \n
            1. \u201cDamn, they hired a lawyer.\u201d<\/strong><\/li>\n
            2. \u201cDamn, they\u2019ve got a lawyer.\u201d<\/strong><\/li>\n
            3. \u201cDamn. They lawyered up.\u201d<\/strong><\/li>\n
            4. \u201cDamn, they lawyered up.\u201d<\/strong><\/li>\n<\/ol>\n

              In this next set of captions, the hunters are cowed by the prospect of litigation:<\/p>\n

                \n
              1. \u201cThose ducks look litigious.\u201d<\/strong><\/li>\n
              2. \u201cDucks are very litigious.\u201d<\/strong><\/li>\n
              3. \u201cDo you think they would really sue?\u201d<\/strong><\/li>\n<\/ol>\n

                Here are this week\u2019s best lawyer-related puns:<\/p>\n

                  \n
                1. \u201cIf it makes a motion, shoot it.\u201d<\/strong><\/li>\n
                2. \u201cNow\u2019s your chance to blow a hole in his case.\u201d<\/strong><\/li>\n
                3. \u201cPond scum.\u201d<\/strong><\/li>\n<\/ol>\n

                  That third entry scores extra points for being so concise.<\/p>\n

                  Here\u2019s a nice shot at legalese: \u201cWhat does cease and desist mean?\u201d<\/strong><\/p>\n

                  The first lawyer joke I ever heard \u2013 \u201cWhy don\u2019t sharks eat lawyers? Professional courtesy.\u201d \u2013 may have been the inspiration for this entry: \u201cI guess he got tired of swimming with the sharks.\u201d<\/strong><\/p>\n

                  Speaking of sharks, here\u2019s a clever reference to one of the most famous lines from \u201cJaws:\u201d \u201cWe\u2019re gonna need a bigger dog.\u201d<\/strong><\/p>\n

                  And here\u2019s an entry that serves as a fitting conclusion to this part of the commentary: \u201cEnough with the lawyer jokes \u2013 let\u2019s hunt.\u201d<\/strong><\/p>\n

                  Many of you assumed the suit is not a lawyer but an accountant:<\/p>\n

                    \n
                  1. \u201cMust be tax season.\u201d<\/strong><\/li>\n
                  2. \u201cIs it tax season already?\u201d<\/strong><\/li>\n
                  3. \u201cWe can\u2019t bag that one until tax season.\u201d<\/strong><\/li>\n
                  4. \u201cAccountants don\u2019t have a mating call.\u201d<\/strong><\/li>\n<\/ol>\n

                    This next entry is close to that last caption, but not specific to accountants: \u201c\u2026and some of them never mate at all.\u201d<\/strong><\/p>\n

                    Here\u2019s a good pun that didn\u2019t fit in the section on lawyer jokes: \u201cThe sitting one\u2019s mine.\u201d<\/strong><\/p>\n

                    And here are six captions that don\u2019t fit in a specific category:<\/p>\n

                      \n
                    1. \u201cHow many does he count against our limit?\u201d<\/strong><\/li>\n
                    2. \u201cYou don\u2019t often see one in the wild.\u201d<\/strong><\/li>\n
                    3. \u201cThe big one means business.\u201d<\/strong><\/li>\n
                    4. \u201cDamn, wildlife management.\u201d<\/strong><\/li>\n
                    5. \u201cI think it\u2019s a Baldheaded North American Middle Manager.\u201d<\/strong><\/li>\n
                    6. \u201cI think the boss knows we ain\u2019t sick.\u201d<\/strong><\/li>\n<\/ol>\n

                      Another strong showing. Out of more than 900 entries received, forty-one deserved special recognition. (Less than 5% may not sound like a lot, but in the context of the caption contest it\u2019s impressive). This week\u2019s winner is, \u201cThe ducks are blocking my shot.\u201d<\/strong><\/p>\n

                      ENTER THIS WEEK’S CAPTION CONTEST<\/a><\/p>\n

                      Lawrence Wood has won The New Yorker\u2019s Cartoon Caption Contest a record-setting seven times and been a finalist two other times. He has collaborated with New Yorker cartoonists Peter Kuper, Lila Ash, Felipe Galindo Gomez, and Harry Bliss (until Bliss tossed him aside, as anyone would, to collaborate with Steve Martin). Nine of his collaborations have appeared in The New Yorker, and one is included in the New Yorker Encyclopedia of Cartoons. <\/em><\/p>\n

                       <\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

                      Kamraan Hafeez\u2019s two hunters are in a duck blind. They\u2019re by the side of a pond where a few mallards are floating next to a man in a suit who\u2019s sitting in an inner tube with a briefcase in his lap. One hunter is saying something to the other. I have never seen \u201cDuck Dynasty\u201d\u2014the…
                      Continue Reading…<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":11,"featured_media":4540,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"_genesis_hide_title":false,"_genesis_hide_breadcrumbs":false,"_genesis_hide_singular_image":false,"_genesis_hide_footer_widgets":false,"_genesis_custom_body_class":"","_genesis_custom_post_class":"","_genesis_layout":"","footnotes":""},"categories":[39],"tags":[],"class_list":{"0":"post-5164","1":"post","2":"type-post","3":"status-publish","4":"format-standard","5":"has-post-thumbnail","7":"category-caption-contest-commentary","8":"entry"},"acf":[],"yoast_head":"\n"Hunting Suits" Caption Contest Commentary with Lawrence Wood – The CartoonStock.com Blog<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\""Hunting Suits" Caption Contest Commentary with Lawrence Wood – CartoonStock.com\" \/>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, 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