{"id":5645,"date":"2021-06-29T10:30:58","date_gmt":"2021-06-29T14:30:58","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/blog.cartoonstock.com\/?p=5645"},"modified":"2021-06-30T09:43:30","modified_gmt":"2021-06-30T13:43:30","slug":"insect-woman-caption-contest-commentary-with-lawrence-wood","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.cartoonstock.com\/blog\/insect-woman-caption-contest-commentary-with-lawrence-wood\/","title":{"rendered":"“Insect Woman” Caption Contest Commentary with Lawrence Wood"},"content":{"rendered":"

\"captionJoe Dator\u2019s cartoon is set in a bar, where a couple is sitting across from each other in a booth and having a glass of wine. The woman\u2019s arms are folded across her chest, indicating that she\u2019s offended or annoyed. More importantly, she has a pair of insect antennae. The woman is speaking.\u00a0<\/em><\/p>\n

The antennae are distracting, so I thought the man might be staring at them, prompting the woman to say, \u201cMy eyes are down here.\u201d<\/strong> That caption, unfortunately, is very close to the winning entry in the last contest featuring a cartoon by Joe Dator:<\/p>\n

\"winner\"<\/p>\n

My final two captions suggest that the woman is at least part-praying mantis:<\/p>\n

    \n
  1. \u201cUsually I wait until after sex to bite the man\u2019s head off, but in your case I\u2019ll make an exception.\u201d<\/strong><\/li>\n
  2. \u201cAnd what, exactly, is wrong<\/em> with sexual cannibalism?\u201d<\/strong><\/li>\n<\/ol>\n

    Now let\u2019s see how you did.<\/p>\n

    There were a lot of praying mantis jokes, but these were the best:<\/p>\n

      \n
    1. \u201cFirst we have sex. Then I kill you.\u201d<\/strong><\/li>\n
    2. “I could sleep with you, but then I’d have to kill you.”<\/strong><\/li>\n
    3. “You act like I’m going to bite your head off.”<\/strong><\/li>\n
    4. “If you’re so good in the sack, why do you still have your head?”<\/strong><\/li>\n<\/ol>\n

      I\u2019d like that fourth caption better if \u201cthe sack\u201d were replaced with \u201cbed.\u201d<\/p>\n

      Here are two very slight variations on my \u201cdown here\u201d caption:<\/p>\n

        \n
      1. “My eyes are down here, Fred.”<\/strong><\/li>\n
      2. “My eyes are down here!”<\/strong><\/li>\n<\/ol>\n

        The first loses points for ending with a name, which serves only to bury the punchline. The second loses points for ending with an exclamation point. Yes, the woman looks annoyed, but she\u2019s not shouting.<\/p>\n

        The best \u201cdown here\u201d caption subverts expectations and suggests that women actually want men to stare at their chests: “My breasts are down here.”<\/strong>\u00a0<\/strong><\/p>\n

        In the next two captions, the man has just criticized his date\u2019s antennae, and she\u2019s punching back:<\/p>\n

          \n
        1. “Yeah, well you’re going bald.”<\/strong><\/li>\n
        2. “Maybe you<\/em> should grow a pair.”<\/strong><\/li>\n<\/ol>\n

          The next four entries recognize that people who use dating sites often omit unflattering information from their profiles:<\/p>\n

            \n
          1. \u201cSo, I see we both cropped the tops of our profile pictures.\u201d<\/strong><\/li>\n
          2. \u201cWell, you lied about your height.\u201d<\/strong><\/li>\n
          3. \u201cYou should have said in your profile that you’re going bald.\u201d<\/strong><\/li>\n
          4. “And your profile didn’t mention you were balding.”<\/strong><\/li>\n<\/ol>\n

            Here\u2019s one more \u201cbald man\u201d joke that highlights the woman\u2019s obliviousness to her own issues:\u00a0 \u201cShouldn’t you do something about your hair?\u201d<\/strong><\/p>\n

            This next entry suggests that the man has just broken up with the woman: “Don’t expect me to just come crawling back to you.”<\/strong><\/p>\n

            Here are the week\u2019s best puns:<\/p>\n

              \n
            1. “Ok, I’ll bite.”<\/strong><\/li>\n
            2. “You never talk about my feelers.”<\/strong><\/li>\n<\/ol>\n

              And here\u2019s the best reference to the set-up for Henny Youngman-style jokes about bad restaurant service: “I hope there’s a fly in my soup.”<\/strong><\/p>\n

              This entry suggests that, like the old \u201crabbit ears\u201d on a TV set, the woman\u2019s antennae receive telecommunication signals: “I\u2019ve never needed cable.”<\/strong><\/p>\n

              This next entry suggests that the man has asked the woman whether she hopes to someday raise a family: “Kids? Someday. About a thousand or so.”<\/strong><\/p>\n

              And these entries note that antennae are used for detection:<\/p>\n

                \n
              1. \u201cNever mind how I know you\u2019re lying.\u201d<\/strong><\/li>\n
              2. “Call it women’s intuition.”<\/strong><\/li>\n
              3. \u201cLie.\u201d<\/strong><\/li>\n<\/ol>\n

                I like this next caption, even with the exclamation point, because it came completely out of left field: “You better believe we’re suing him. Your hair plugs didn’t take, and look at mine!”<\/strong><\/p>\n

                Finally, here\u2019s an entry that suggests the man has very rigid political views: “I kill after mating and give birth to dozens of larvae at a time, but who I voted for is where you draw the line?”<\/strong><\/p>\n

                This week\u2019s winner is, “Never mind how I know you\u2019re lying.”<\/strong><\/p>\n

                ENTER THE CAPTION CONTEST<\/a><\/p>\n

                Lawrence Wood has won The New Yorker\u2019s Cartoon Caption Contest a record-setting seven times and been a finalist four other times. He has collaborated with New Yorker cartoonists Peter Kuper, Lila Ash, Felipe Galindo Gomez, and Harry Bliss (until Bliss tossed him aside, as anyone would, to collaborate with Steve Martin). Nine of his collaborations have appeared in The New Yorker, and one is included in The New Yorker Encyclopedia of Cartoons.<\/em><\/p>\n

                 <\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

                Joe Dator\u2019s cartoon is set in a bar, where a couple is sitting across from each other in a booth and having a glass of wine. The woman\u2019s arms are folded across her chest, indicating that she\u2019s offended or annoyed. More importantly, she has a pair of insect antennae. The woman is speaking.\u00a0 The antennae…
                Continue Reading…<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":11,"featured_media":5646,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"_genesis_hide_title":false,"_genesis_hide_breadcrumbs":false,"_genesis_hide_singular_image":false,"_genesis_hide_footer_widgets":false,"_genesis_custom_body_class":"","_genesis_custom_post_class":"","_genesis_layout":"","footnotes":""},"categories":[39],"tags":[],"class_list":{"0":"post-5645","1":"post","2":"type-post","3":"status-publish","4":"format-standard","5":"has-post-thumbnail","7":"category-caption-contest-commentary","8":"entry"},"acf":[],"yoast_head":"\n"Insect Woman" Caption Contest Commentary with Lawrence Wood – The CartoonStock.com Blog<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\""Insect Woman" Caption Contest Commentary with Lawrence Wood – CartoonStock.com\" \/>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, 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