{"id":5663,"date":"2021-07-06T12:25:06","date_gmt":"2021-07-06T16:25:06","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/blog.cartoonstock.com\/?p=5663"},"modified":"2021-07-06T17:10:39","modified_gmt":"2021-07-06T21:10:39","slug":"big-batter-caption-contest-commentary-with-lawrence-wood","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.cartoonstock.com\/blog\/big-batter-caption-contest-commentary-with-lawrence-wood\/","title":{"rendered":"\u201cBig Batter\u201d Caption Contest Commentary with Lawrence Wood"},"content":{"rendered":"

\"captionThis contest provided a rare opportunity to collaborate with our own Bob Mankoff. In his cartoon, two boys are getting ready to play or practice baseball. One is normal-sized, wearing a glove on his left hand, and staring at the body of the other one, who has a bat and is built like a tank. The muscular one is speaking.<\/p>\n

In his tell-all book, Juiced<\/em>, Jose Canseco wrote that as many as 80% of baseball players used steroids, which increase muscle mass and strength and were finally banned in 2005. My first captions allude to the problem of doping in baseball:<\/p>\n

    \n
  1. \u201cWhat are you implying?\u201d<\/strong><\/li>\n
  2. \u201cIf we need a company to sponsor our team, I could talk to Pfizer.\u201d<\/strong><\/li>\n<\/ol>\n

    I next suggested that the boy holding the bat looks more like a football player than a baseball player: \u201cI usually play contact sports.\u201d<\/strong><\/p>\n

    I then noted that someone built like a truck would be quite intimidating to baseball players:<\/p>\n

      \n
    1. \u201cI get walked a lot.\u201d<\/strong><\/li>\n
    2. \u201cMost teams just forfeit.\u201d<\/strong><\/li>\n<\/ol>\n

      Finally, a pun: \u201cI\u2019m with the Not-So-Little League.\u201d<\/strong><\/p>\n

      Now let\u2019s see how you did.<\/p>\n

      There were so many steroid-related entries I had to break the best of them down into subcategories.<\/p>\n

      Some dealt with the attempt to get around the ban on performance-enhancing drugs:<\/p>\n

        \n
      1. “I need you to pee in a cup for me.”<\/strong><\/li>\n
      2. “They don’t test for that in Little League.”<\/strong><\/li>\n
      3. “Just out of curiosity, what’s the team\u2019s drug testing policy?”<\/strong><\/li>\n
      4. “Why did they decide to start testing us for steroids?”<\/strong><\/li>\n
      5. “Our last practice was all about plausible deniability.”<\/strong><\/li>\n<\/ol>\n

        A related entry addressed the punctuation mark used to indicate that a baseball player\u2019s accomplishment was achieved on steroids: “My heroes all have asterisks.”<\/strong><\/p>\n

        Other entries addressed the drug\u2019s unfortunate side effects:<\/p>\n

          \n
        1. “I don’t have any balls. I thought you brought them.”<\/strong><\/li>\n
        2. “I hope you brought balls.”<\/strong><\/li>\n<\/ol>\n

          There were a couple of decent puns:<\/p>\n

            \n
          1. “My dad owns the pharm system.”<\/strong><\/li>\n
          2. “I was called up from the pharm team.”<\/strong><\/li>\n<\/ol>\n

            And one of you suggested that the bulked-up player thinks no one knows about his drug use: “I have a secret I’ve never told anyone before.”<\/strong>\u00a0<\/strong><\/p>\n

            These captions all suggest that the batter has or could hit the ball really<\/em> hard and far:<\/p>\n

              \n
            1. “Got another ball?”<\/strong><\/li>\n
            2. “You ducked well today.”<\/strong><\/li>\n
            3. “I’m sorry I broke your baseball.”<\/strong><\/li>\n
            4. “We’re gonna need a bigger yard.”<\/strong><\/li>\n
            5. “Why should I have to pay for the balls?”<\/strong><\/li>\n
            6. \u201cSorry. I didn’t realize that was your last ball.”<\/strong><\/li>\n
            7. “Gosh, I didn’t mean to kill your outfielder.”<\/strong><\/li>\n
            8. “You won’t be using that glove.”<\/strong><\/li>\n<\/ol>\n

              I\u2019d like that seventh caption better without the word \u201cGosh,\u201d and the last entry would be better if the word \u201cusing\u201d were \u201cneeding.\u201d<\/p>\n

              The following caption is close to one of my own: “Welcome to the Not So Little League.”<\/strong><\/p>\n

              And this caption\u2014“Next to the chemical plant. And where do you live?”<\/strong>\u2014 reminds me of the winning entry in a New Yorker Caption Contest that featured an announcer standing between two giant boxers (you see them only from the knees down) and saying, \u201cAnd in this corner, also hailing from Chernobyl …\u201d<\/p>\n

              Some variation on this line\u2014“Hey! My eyes are up here.”<\/strong>\u2014is often submitted when the cartoon suggests that a woman is offended by a man who\u2019s staring at her breasts, but it works here, too. And the twist is clever.<\/p>\n

              A related entry suggests that the batter is tired of being objectified: “Tell your mom to stop whistling.”<\/strong><\/p>\n

              Like I did, several of you noted that the batter\u2019s size might alarm his opponents:<\/p>\n

                \n
              1. “My strategy is 100% intimidation.”<\/strong><\/li>\n
              2. “I don’t actually play. I just like to intimidate.”<\/strong><\/li>\n
              3. “I can’t hit, but the pitchers are so intimidated they walk me.”<\/strong><\/li>\n<\/ol>\n

                The next two captions suggest that the batter\u2019s size would be an asset in a fight:<\/p>\n

                  \n
                1. “I’m training for a bench-clearing brawl.”<\/strong><\/li>\n
                2. “I wanna work on storming the mound.”<\/strong><\/li>\n<\/ol>\n

                  The last entry would be better if \u201cwanna\u201d were \u201cwant to\u201d and \u201cstorming\u201d was \u201ccharging.\u201d Batters charge the mound. They don\u2019t storm it.<\/p>\n

                  As I did, several of you thought the batter\u2019s size indicated that he\u2019s a football player unfamiliar with our national pastime:<\/p>\n

                    \n
                  1. “How do I make a touchdown with this?”<\/strong><\/li>\n
                  2. “Are you sure there’s no wide receiver?\u201d<\/strong><\/li>\n
                  3. “So where’s the end zone?”<\/strong><\/li>\n<\/ol>\n

                    Here are the best references to baseball movies:<\/p>\n

                      \n
                    1. “If you’re built, they will come.”<\/strong><\/li>\n
                    2. “I’m in a league of my own.”<\/strong><\/li>\n<\/ol>\n

                      Here\u2019s the best pandemic joke: “I thought I was in the vaccine line…”<\/strong><\/p>\n

                      And here are the best ironic entries:<\/p>\n

                        \n
                      1. “Sorry, have to go…ballet practice.”<\/strong><\/li>\n
                      2. “It’s all in the wrist.”<\/strong><\/li>\n
                      3. “My specialty is bunting.”<\/strong><\/li>\n
                      4. “I can only bunt.”<\/strong><\/li>\n<\/ol>\n

                        This next caption is similar to the last two entries but unironic: “No, I don’t bunt.”<\/strong><\/p>\n

                        Being huge and muscular huge has its advantages, but these next two entries focus on the drawbacks:<\/p>\n

                          \n
                        1. “If I could move, I’d hit every ball a mile.”<\/strong><\/li>\n
                        2. “Are my shoes tied?”<\/strong><\/li>\n<\/ol>\n

                          As I often do, I will conclude with a few strong captions that don\u2019t fit neatly into any category:<\/p>\n

                            \n
                          1. “Maybe you just need to try harder.”<\/strong><\/li>\n
                          2. “Now can I be on your team?”<\/strong><\/li>\n
                          3. “Too much?”<\/strong><\/li>\n<\/ol>\n

                            Well done. I can\u2019t remember the last time I highlighted this many entries (44). I\u2019m guessing a lot of you really want to see your caption on a Mankoff cartoon. If it were solely up to me\u2014it\u2019s not\u2014that honor would go to whoever submitted, \u201cI need you to pee in a cup for me.\u201d<\/strong><\/p>\n

                            ENTER THE CAPTION CONTEST<\/a><\/p>\n

                            Lawrence Wood has won The New Yorker\u2019s Cartoon Caption Contest a record-setting seven times and been a finalist four other times. He has collaborated with New Yorker cartoonists Peter Kuper, Lila Ash, Felipe Galindo Gomez, and Harry Bliss (until Bliss tossed him aside, as anyone would, to collaborate with Steve Martin). Nine of his collaborations have appeared in The New Yorker, and one is included in The New Yorker Encyclopedia of Cartoons.<\/em><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

                            This contest provided a rare opportunity to collaborate with our own Bob Mankoff. In his cartoon, two boys are getting ready to play or practice baseball. One is normal-sized, wearing a glove on his left hand, and staring at the body of the other one, who has a bat and is built like a tank….
                            Continue Reading…<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":11,"featured_media":5664,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"_genesis_hide_title":false,"_genesis_hide_breadcrumbs":false,"_genesis_hide_singular_image":false,"_genesis_hide_footer_widgets":false,"_genesis_custom_body_class":"","_genesis_custom_post_class":"","_genesis_layout":"","footnotes":""},"categories":[39],"tags":[],"class_list":{"0":"post-5663","1":"post","2":"type-post","3":"status-publish","4":"format-standard","5":"has-post-thumbnail","7":"category-caption-contest-commentary","8":"entry"},"acf":[],"yoast_head":"\n\u201cBig Batter\u201d Caption Contest Commentary with Lawrence Wood – The CartoonStock.com Blog<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"\u201cBig Batter\u201d Caption Contest Commentary with Lawrence Wood – CartoonStock.com\" \/>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, 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