{"id":8139,"date":"2022-03-24T12:51:55","date_gmt":"2022-03-24T16:51:55","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.cartoonstock.com\/blog\/?p=8139"},"modified":"2025-12-06T10:16:14","modified_gmt":"2025-12-06T15:16:14","slug":"caveman-and-st-peter-caption-contest-commentary-with-lawrence-wood","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.cartoonstock.com\/blog\/caveman-and-st-peter-caption-contest-commentary-with-lawrence-wood\/","title":{"rendered":"\u201cCaveman and St. Peter\u201d Caption Contest Commentary with Lawrence Wood"},"content":{"rendered":"<p><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"alignright wp-image-7832\" src=\"https:\/\/www.cartoonstock.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/02\/Sub21759_.jpg\" alt=\"caption contest\" width=\"350\" height=\"271\" srcset=\"https:\/\/www.cartoonstock.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/02\/Sub21759_.jpg 800w, https:\/\/www.cartoonstock.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/02\/Sub21759_-300x232.jpg 300w, https:\/\/www.cartoonstock.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/02\/Sub21759_-768x594.jpg 768w\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 350px) 100vw, 350px\" \/>Sarah Morrissette\u2019s cartoon is set in heaven, where St. Peter is standing at the Pearly Gates. Open in front of him is a book containing the names of the deceased, and he\u2019s addressing a caveman holding a club in his right hand.<\/p>\n<p>My first caption acknowledges the difficulty of looking up a caveman\u2019s name: <strong>\u201cSpell that.\u201d<\/strong><\/p>\n<p>My next caption addresses both the caveman\u2019s unwashed state and the belief that one cannot enter the Kingdom of Heaven without first getting baptized: <strong>\u201cI don\u2019t think you\u2019ve ever bathed, let alone been baptized.\u201d<\/strong><\/p>\n<p>Finally, I suggest that St. Peter thinks the caveman doesn\u2019t belong in heaven:<\/p>\n<ul>\n<li><strong>\u201cYou might feel more comfortable in hell.\u201d<\/strong><\/li>\n<li><strong>\u201cYou\u2019ll like it down there. They have fire.\u201d<\/strong><\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p>Now let\u2019s see how you did:<\/p>\n<p>Several of you referred to caveman tropes\u2014always popular in cartoons\u2014such as the poor treatment of cavewomen:<\/p>\n<ul>\n<li><strong>\u201cWe have video of you pulling her hair.\u201d<\/strong><\/li>\n<li><strong>\u201cI see here that you hit on your neighbor\u2019s wife.\u201d<\/strong><\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p>And the discovery of fire:<\/p>\n<ul>\n<li><strong>\u201cIt wasn\u2019t enough to invent it\u2014you had to go and play with it, didn\u2019t you?<\/strong>\u201d<\/li>\n<li><strong>\u201cI\u2019ve been busy since you geniuses invented fire.\u201d<\/strong><\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p>I like those last two captions\u2014especially because the first explains how the caveman died and the second alludes, quite darkly, to the number of fire-related deaths\u2014but the first would be better if the word \u201cinvent\u201d were replaced by \u201cdiscover.\u201d One does not invent fire.<\/p>\n<p>This entry alludes to the invention of the wheel\u2014<strong>\u201cYeah, well, I invented the waitlist\u201d<\/strong>\u2014but it\u2019s very close to and not quite as good as this winning entry from an old New Yorker caption contest:<\/p>\n<p><strong><a href=\"https:\/\/www.cartoonstock.com\/cartoon?searchID=CC123797\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"aligncenter wp-image-8140\" src=\"https:\/\/www.cartoonstock.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/03\/CartoonStock_533045_CC123797-scaled.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"500\" height=\"366\" srcset=\"https:\/\/www.cartoonstock.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/03\/CartoonStock_533045_CC123797-scaled.jpg 2560w, https:\/\/www.cartoonstock.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/03\/CartoonStock_533045_CC123797-300x220.jpg 300w, https:\/\/www.cartoonstock.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/03\/CartoonStock_533045_CC123797-1024x749.jpg 1024w, https:\/\/www.cartoonstock.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/03\/CartoonStock_533045_CC123797-768x562.jpg 768w, https:\/\/www.cartoonstock.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/03\/CartoonStock_533045_CC123797-1536x1124.jpg 1536w, https:\/\/www.cartoonstock.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/03\/CartoonStock_533045_CC123797-2048x1499.jpg 2048w\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 500px) 100vw, 500px\" \/><\/a><\/strong><\/p>\n<p>These entries take a common phrase and give it a new and fitting meaning within the context of the cartoon:<\/p>\n<ul>\n<li><strong>\u201cYou\u2019re older than sin.\u201d<\/strong><\/li>\n<li><strong>\u201cGo to hell.\u201d<\/strong><\/li>\n<li><strong>\u201cIt\u2019s about time.\u201d<\/strong><\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p>Like that last caption, the following entries all suggest that the caveman should have arrived in heaven long ago:<\/p>\n<ul>\n<li><strong>\u201cWe had you scheduled to show up here quite a while ago.\u201d<\/strong><\/li>\n<li><strong>\u201cWhat took you so long?\u201d<\/strong><\/li>\n<li><strong>\u201cYou\u2019re late.\u201d<\/strong><\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p>Whereas these captions suggest that he\u2019s shown up way ahead of time:<\/p>\n<ul>\n<li><strong>\u201cYou\u2019re early. Gates aren\u2019t open yet.\u201d<\/strong><\/li>\n<li><strong>\u201cWe open in 20,000 years.\u201d<\/strong><\/li>\n<li><strong>\u201cYou\u2019re early.\u201d<\/strong><\/li>\n<li><strong>\u201cYou\u2019ll have to take a seat and wait until the Savior is born.\u201d<\/strong><\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p>Like that last caption, this next entry suggests that the caveman cannot be admitted into Heaven until after Jesus is born, but adds a clever twist by suggesting that the cavemen must accept Jesus as his Lord and Savior before knowing anything about Him: <strong>\u201cNo, the Savior hasn\u2019t been born yet, but do you accept Him or not?\u201d<\/strong><\/p>\n<p>The next two entries suggest that the caveman believed in a higher power, but not the right one:<\/p>\n<ul>\n<li><strong>\u201cNo\u2026it\u2019s because you worshipped everything but the one God.\u201d<\/strong><\/li>\n<li><strong>\u201cDon\u2019t give me that old-time religion.\u201d<\/strong><\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p>Like I did, a couple of you focused on the book of names that\u2019s open in front of St. Peter:<\/p>\n<ul>\n<li><strong>\u201cHow do you spell that?\u201d<\/strong><\/li>\n<li><strong>\u201cI need a name.\u201d<\/strong><\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p>This caption alludes to the rift between evolutionists and fundamentalist Christians: <strong>\u201cNo. No. Adam was first and that\u2019s that.\u201d<\/strong><\/p>\n<p>Like I did, one of you suggested the caveman might be more comfortable in hell: <strong>\u201cWell, if you prefer a cave, there is one other option.\u201d<\/strong><\/p>\n<p>I\u2019ll end this commentary by highlighting the week\u2019s best puns, all of which explain why St. Peter won\u2019t let the caveman into heaven:<\/p>\n<ul>\n<li><strong>\u201cBut you behaved like a Neanderthal.\u201d<\/strong><\/li>\n<li><strong>\u201cYou weren\u2019t always upright.\u201d<\/strong><\/li>\n<li><strong>\u201cYou call yourself upright?\u201d<\/strong><\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p>This week\u2019s winner is one of the puns: <strong>\u201cYou weren\u2019t always upright.\u201d<\/strong><strong>\u00a0<\/strong><\/p>\n<p align=\"center\"><a class=\"button\" href=\"https:\/\/cartoonstock.com\/blog\/cartoon-caption-contest\/\">ENTER THE CAPTION CONTEST<\/a><\/p>\n<p><em>Lawrence Wood has won The New Yorker&#8217;s Cartoon Caption Contest a record-setting seven times and been a finalist four other times. He has collaborated with New Yorker cartoonists Peter Kuper, Lila Ash, Felipe Galindo Gomez, and Harry Bliss (until Bliss tossed him aside, as anyone would, to collaborate with Steve Martin). Nine of his collaborations have appeared in The New Yorker, and one is included in The New Yorker Encyclopedia of Cartoons.<\/em><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Sarah Morrissette\u2019s cartoon is set in heaven, where St. Peter is standing at the Pearly Gates. Open in front of him is a book containing the names of the deceased, and he\u2019s addressing a caveman holding a club in his right hand. My first caption acknowledges the difficulty of looking up a caveman\u2019s name: \u201cSpell&#8230; <br \/><a class=\"more-link button\" style=\"float:right;margin:10px\" href=\"https:\/\/www.cartoonstock.com\/blog\/caveman-and-st-peter-caption-contest-commentary-with-lawrence-wood\/\" rel=\"nofollow\">Continue Reading&#8230;<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":11,"featured_media":8141,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"_genesis_hide_title":false,"_genesis_hide_breadcrumbs":false,"_genesis_hide_singular_image":false,"_genesis_hide_footer_widgets":false,"_genesis_custom_body_class":"","_genesis_custom_post_class":"","_genesis_layout":"","footnotes":""},"categories":[39],"tags":[],"class_list":{"0":"post-8139","1":"post","2":"type-post","3":"status-publish","4":"format-standard","5":"has-post-thumbnail","7":"category-caption-contest-commentary","8":"entry"},"acf":[],"yoast_head":"<!-- This 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