{"id":8418,"date":"2022-06-20T15:57:27","date_gmt":"2022-06-20T19:57:27","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.cartoonstock.com\/blog\/?p=8418"},"modified":"2025-12-06T10:16:01","modified_gmt":"2025-12-06T15:16:01","slug":"prehistoric-washer-caption-contest-commentary-with-lawrence-wood","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.cartoonstock.com\/blog\/prehistoric-washer-caption-contest-commentary-with-lawrence-wood\/","title":{"rendered":"&#8220;Prehistoric Washer&#8221; Caption Contest Commentary with Lawrence Wood"},"content":{"rendered":"<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"aligncenter wp-image-8246\" src=\"https:\/\/www.cartoonstock.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/04\/hafeez2-1.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"600\" height=\"484\" srcset=\"https:\/\/www.cartoonstock.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/04\/hafeez2-1.jpg 800w, https:\/\/www.cartoonstock.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/04\/hafeez2-1-300x242.jpg 300w, https:\/\/www.cartoonstock.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/04\/hafeez2-1-768x619.jpg 768w\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 600px) 100vw, 600px\" \/><\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Kaamran Hafeez\u2019s cartoon is set in a cave, where two cavemen are looking at a washing machine. One of the cavemen is speaking.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Because the cavemen are wearing animal skins, which wouldn\u2019t do well in a washing machine, I initially came up with these three captions:\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<ul>\n<li aria-level=\"1\"><b>\u201cBut everything we have is dry-clean only.\u201d<\/b><\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<ul>\n<li aria-level=\"1\"><b>\u201cNothing we wear is washer-safe.\u201d<\/b><\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<ul>\n<li aria-level=\"1\"><b>\u201cYou can\u2019t wash fur.\u201d<\/b><\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Any cartoon set in a cave invites jokes about discovery\/inventions, so here\u2019s my contribution: <\/span><b>\u201cNow can you invent electricity and an outlet?\u201d<\/b><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">My next caption alludes to one of the surest ways to break a washing machine: <\/span><b>\u201cMy mistake. I thought it was for washing rocks.\u201d<\/b><\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">I next focused on one reason the cavemen might be so confused: <\/span><b>\u201cI\u2019m sure the instruction manual is helpful, but none of us can read.\u201d<\/b><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Finally, something ironic: <\/span><b>\u201cI don\u2019t know. I\u2019m used to a top-loader.\u201d<\/b><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Now let\u2019s see how you did.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">I\u2019ll start with the best of the invention jokes (most of which, like mine, begin with the word, \u201cNow\u201d):<\/span><\/p>\n<ul>\n<li aria-level=\"1\"><b>\u201cNow you just need to invent plumbing and a power grid.\u201d<\/b><\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<ul>\n<li aria-level=\"1\"><b>\u201cNow if someone would just invent electricity.\u201d<\/b><\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<ul>\n<li aria-level=\"1\"><b>\u201cNow we just need to discover electricity.\u201d<\/b><\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<ul>\n<li aria-level=\"1\"><b>\u201cNow I just have to invent electricity.\u201d<\/b><\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<ul>\n<li aria-level=\"1\"><b>\u201cNow we need to invent detergent.\u201d<\/b><\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<ul>\n<li aria-level=\"1\"><b>\u201cWe need to invent the quarter.\u201d<\/b><\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<ul>\n<li aria-level=\"1\"><b>\u201cThis makes wheel look like piece of crap.\u201d<\/b><\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<ul>\n<li aria-level=\"1\"><b>\u201cThe round thing in front gives me an idea.\u201d<\/b><\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<ul>\n<li aria-level=\"1\"><b>\u201cI kind of regret inventing chores.\u201d<\/b><\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">I\u2019d like that last entry better without the words \u201ckind of.\u201d They make the caption more conversational\u2014it mimics the way people actually talk\u2014but they get in the way of what could be a punchier and, in my opinion, better joke. Every word in a caption counts, and if you can reduce the number of words in a caption by a third you probably should. That\u2019s not a hard and fast rule\u2014sometimes the longer caption is funnier\u2014but it\u2019s something to bear in mind.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Here\u2019s a terrific reference to the short life-expectancy of prehistoric man: <\/span><b>\u201cI never thought I\u2019d outlive the extended warranty.\u201d<\/b><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Like I did, many of you noted that a washing machine would ruin anything a cavemen wears:<\/span><\/p>\n<ul>\n<li aria-level=\"1\"><b>\u201cThanks, but our loincloths are dry clean only.\u201d<\/b><\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<ul>\n<li aria-level=\"1\"><b>\u201cToo bad our animal hides are dry clean only.\u201d\u00a0<\/b><\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<ul>\n<li aria-level=\"1\"><b>\u201cI prefer to have my clothes hand-washed.\u201d\u00a0<\/b><\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<ul>\n<li aria-level=\"1\"><b>\u201cYou realize skins are hand-wash only.\u201d<\/b><\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<ul>\n<li aria-level=\"1\"><b>\u201cI still say fur has to be dry cleaned.\u201d<\/b><\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<ul>\n<li aria-level=\"1\"><b>\u201cAll my clothes are dry clean only.\u201d<\/b><\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">One of you, however, suggested that the washer would be fine: <\/span><b>\u201cWell, there goes my dry cleaning business.\u201d<\/b><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">This next set of captions alludes to the way cavemen actually did wash their animal skins:\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<ul>\n<li aria-level=\"1\"><b>\u201cWell, let\u2019s take it down to the river and beat our pelts against it.\u201d<\/b><\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<ul>\n<li aria-level=\"1\"><b>\u201cI drag it to the river and beat my clothes on it.\u201d<\/b><\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<ul>\n<li aria-level=\"1\"><b>\u201cLet\u2019s load it and beat it against the rocks.\u201d<\/b><\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<ul>\n<li aria-level=\"1\"><b>\u201cI\u2019d rather beat my clothes on a rock.\u201d<\/b><\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<ul>\n<li aria-level=\"1\"><b>\u201cWhere do the rocks go?\u201d<\/b><\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<ul>\n<li aria-level=\"1\"><b>\u201cI prefer stone washed.\u201d<\/b><\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Here are the best references to the proscription against mixing whites and coloreds:<\/span><\/p>\n<ul>\n<li aria-level=\"1\"><b>\u201cThe club\u2019s in case you mixed the whites with the coloreds again.\u201d<\/b><\/li>\n<li style=\"font-weight: 400;\" aria-level=\"1\"><b>\u201cAnd that\u2019s why my loincloth is pink.\u201d<\/b><\/li>\n<li style=\"font-weight: 400;\" aria-level=\"1\"><b>\u201cThis explains the pink pelt.\u201d<\/b><\/li>\n<li style=\"font-weight: 400;\" aria-level=\"1\"><b>\u201cSeparate the colors you Neanderthal.\u201d<\/b><\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">That last caption needs a comma between the words \u201ccolors\u201d and \u201cyou.\u201d Otherwise, it\u2019s great.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">There were no sex jokes this week, but there were a few sexist jokes, which is appropriate given the setting:<\/span><\/p>\n<ul>\n<li aria-level=\"1\"><b>\u201cNow she\u2019s going to want more clothes.\u201d<\/b><\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<ul>\n<li aria-level=\"1\"><b>\u201cNow all we need is a woman to load it.\u201d<\/b><\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<ul>\n<li aria-level=\"1\"><b>\u201cYou should have gotten her the pretty rock.\u201d<\/b><\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">There was also a decent pun: <\/span><b>\u201cWe are about to enter the Ironing Age.\u201d<\/b><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Many of you suggested the cavemen have no idea what the washing machine is for:<\/span><\/p>\n<ul>\n<li aria-level=\"1\"><b>\u201cI think you heave it on top of your prey.\u201d<\/b><\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<ul>\n<li aria-level=\"1\"><b>\u201cThank you for the cumbersome weapon.\u201d<\/b><\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<ul>\n<li aria-level=\"1\"><b>\u201cThat\u2019s your worst guess yet. Why would anyone clean their clothes?\u201d<\/b><\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Many of you, however, suggested that the cavemen are fairly knowledgeable about such things:<\/span><\/p>\n<ul>\n<li aria-level=\"1\"><b>\u201cThis will be great for my delicates.\u201d<\/b><\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<ul>\n<li aria-level=\"1\"><b>\u201cDoes it come in avocado green?\u201d<\/b><\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<ul>\n<li aria-level=\"1\"><b>\u201cI really wanted eggshell.\u201d<\/b><\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<ul>\n<li aria-level=\"1\"><b>\u00a0\u201cFrankly, I prefer top loaders.\u201d<\/b><\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">I know I already emphasized the importance of eliminating all unnecessary words, but I\u2019m going to do it again because that last caption could be better without the word, \u201cFrankly.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Like I did, a couple of you suggested that the washing machine\u2019s useless without an outlet:\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<ul>\n<li aria-level=\"1\"><b>\u201cI can\u2019t find anywhere to plug it in.\u201d<\/b><\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<ul>\n<li aria-level=\"1\"><b>\u201cWhere do you plug it in?\u201d<\/b><\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Finally, here are a few terrific captions that don\u2019t fit neatly into any category:<\/span><\/p>\n<ul>\n<li aria-level=\"1\"><b>\u201cI wonder what the delicate cycle is for.\u201d<\/b><\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<ul>\n<li aria-level=\"1\"><b>\u201cBut we don\u2019t even wash our bodies.\u201d<\/b><\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<ul>\n<li aria-level=\"1\"><b>\u201cWe hunt. We gather. We sort.\u201d<\/b><\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<ul>\n<li aria-level=\"1\"><b>\u201cI don\u2019t have any quarters.\u201d<\/b><\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Well done. It\u2019s been a while since I highlighted this many (44!) captions. I don\u2019t know if I\u2019m going to continue writing these commentaries\u2014the format may change now that the prize for winning the contest is $1,000, and while I\u2019ll be part of the judging panel I don\u2019t know if my other duties will remain the same\u2014but if this is my last one I\u2019m glad I got to go out with a contest that elicited so many terrific entries.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Selecting the best is never easy, but I\u2019m going with, <\/span><b>\u201cBut we don\u2019t even wash our bodies.\u201d<\/b><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Kaamran Hafeez\u2019s cartoon is set in a cave, where two cavemen are looking at a washing machine. One of the cavemen is speaking. Because the cavemen are wearing animal skins, which wouldn\u2019t do well in a washing machine, I initially came up with these three captions:\u00a0 \u201cBut everything we have is dry-clean only.\u201d \u201cNothing we&#8230; <br \/><a class=\"more-link button\" style=\"float:right;margin:10px\" href=\"https:\/\/www.cartoonstock.com\/blog\/prehistoric-washer-caption-contest-commentary-with-lawrence-wood\/\" rel=\"nofollow\">Continue Reading&#8230;<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":11,"featured_media":8445,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"_genesis_hide_title":false,"_genesis_hide_breadcrumbs":false,"_genesis_hide_singular_image":false,"_genesis_hide_footer_widgets":false,"_genesis_custom_body_class":"","_genesis_custom_post_class":"","_genesis_layout":"","footnotes":""},"categories":[39],"tags":[],"class_list":{"0":"post-8418","1":"post","2":"type-post","3":"status-publish","4":"format-standard","5":"has-post-thumbnail","7":"category-caption-contest-commentary","8":"entry"},"acf":[],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO plugin v27.3 - https:\/\/yoast.com\/product\/yoast-seo-wordpress\/ -->\n<title>&quot;Prehistoric Washer&quot; 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