\u201cAnd on percussion, the neighbor\u2019s laundry machines.\u201d<\/span><\/i><\/p>\nA few of you went after the same joke:<\/span><\/i><\/b><\/p>\n\n- \u201cAnd backing me up, what I didn\u2019t lose in the divorce.\u201d<\/i><\/b><\/li>\n
- \u201cAnd in drum, three quarters and a tennis shoe.\u201d<\/i><\/b><\/li>\n<\/ul>\n
I like the way that last caption changes the word \u201con\u201d to \u201cin,\u201d but \u201cdrums\u201d might have worked better than \u201cdrum\u201d because the caption would then have sounded more like what musicians actually say, and because dryers and washing machines both have drums.<\/span><\/p>\nThis next entry alludes to musicians who try to get the audience to sing along: <\/span>\u201cNow everybody, rinse and repeat after me.\u201d<\/i><\/b><\/p>\nLaundromat machines run on quarters, which explains the next set of captions:<\/span><\/i><\/b><\/p>\n\n- \u201cDon\u2019t forget to tip your server\u2026in quarters.\u201d<\/i><\/b><\/li>\n
- \u201cTips are welcomed. Quarters are appreciated.\u201d<\/i><\/b><\/li>\n
- \u201cYour quarters keep the band working.\u201d<\/i><\/b><\/li>\n
- \u201cThis is a song about change. Quarters mostly.\u201d<\/i><\/b><\/li>\n
- \u201cWe\u2019ve got time for just one more song, unless someone has a handful of quarters.\u201d<\/i><\/b><\/li>\n
- \u201cThis next one is called, \u2018You broke my heart in pieces, now break a dollar in quarters.\u201d<\/i><\/b><\/li>\n<\/ul>\n
Like that last caption, many entries were song titles or references to song titles:<\/span><\/i><\/b><\/p>\n\n- \u201cThis next one\u2019s called, \u2018My baby runs, hot, warm, and cold.\u201d<\/i><\/b><\/li>\n
- \u201cWe are the Sultans of Spin.\u201d<\/i><\/b><\/li>\n
- \u201cYour mama don\u2019t wash and your daddy don\u2019t fluff and fold.\u201d<\/i><\/b><\/li>\n<\/ul>\n
I respect how well that last entry follows the cadence of a lyric from a Loggins and Messina hit, \u201cYour Mama Don\u2019t Dance,\u201d but I wish I\u2019d never seen it because now I can\u2019t get that earworm out of my head. I\u2019m not much of a Loggins and Messina fan.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\nSpeaking of musicians I could do without, someone submitted, <\/span>\u201c<\/b>Still a better backing band than Dave Matthews.\u201d<\/i><\/b> As a Chicagoan, I haven\u2019t forgiven Matthews for dumping 800 pounds of human waste from the backwater tank of his tour bus and onto a boat full of passengers as they passed under the Kinzie Street Bridge on August 8, 2004.<\/span><\/p>\nHere’s an entry from someone who apparently hates all rock bands: <\/span>\u201c<\/b>Be honest. Can you really tell the difference?\u201d<\/i><\/b><\/p>\nThis entry has the musician acknowledging that the song he\u2019s about to play is terrible\u2014\u201c<\/span>Here\u2019s one from my very worst album\u201d<\/i><\/b>\u2014and made me think of Lou Reed\u2019s \u201cMetal Machine Music,\u201d both because the appliances are machines and because that album is unlistenable. Just to be clear, however, I love Lou Reed and most of what he\u2019s recorded.<\/span><\/p>\nNow it\u2019s time for the puns:\u00a0<\/span><\/i><\/b><\/p>\n\n- \u201cHere\u2019s one more song before I throw in the towel.\u201d<\/i><\/b><\/li>\n
- \u201cWe\u2019re a cover band, but we also do sheets.\u201d<\/i><\/b><\/li>\n
- \u201cI\u2019d like to thank my band for helping me stay clean.\u201d<\/i><\/b><\/li>\n<\/ul>\n
That last entry, with its reference to addiction issues that some musicians struggle with, is terrific.<\/span><\/p>\nAnother pun doubles as the month\u2019s best sex joke: <\/span>\u201c<\/b>We\u2019ll be looking to hook up after the show.\u201d<\/i><\/b><\/p>\nThis next entry is perhaps the worst pun I\u2019ve ever seen, but it\u2019s also a fine example of something so bad it\u2019s good\u2014the caption contest equivalent of <\/span>Plan 9 from Outer Space<\/span><\/i>: <\/span>\u201cYou Maytag me in your photos.\u201d<\/i><\/b><\/p>\nSome cartoons have banners as opposed to captions, and the banners explain what\u2019s happening in the cartoon. The following caption, which came out of left field, would work better as a banner, but Ehlers really liked it: <\/span>\u201cEarly Chuck E. Cheese prototype before somebody thought of rat suits.\u201d<\/i><\/b>\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\nOne of my fellow judges, <\/span>New Yorker<\/span><\/i> cartoonist Trevor Hoey, did not like this next entry because he thought it was a blatant attempt to curry favor with me: <\/span>\u201cWe\u2019re Lawrence and The Machines.\u201d<\/i><\/b> Maybe it is, and perhaps we should discourage such attempts, but I really like that caption. It does a beautiful job of reconciling the disparate elements (bands and household appliances), it\u2019s a terrific reference to \u201cFlorence and the Machine,\u201d and, unlike most entries that mention my name, it\u2019s not incredibly insulting.<\/span><\/p>\nThe next entry is, I believe, a reference to the controversy Bob Dylan caused back on July 25, 1965, when he played his first electric concert at the Newport Music festival: <\/span>\u201c<\/b>My washboard player couldn\u2019t make it, so I\u2019m going electric tonight.\u201d<\/i><\/b> It\u2019s a good caption, but it would be better if it ended on the word \u201celectric,\u201d which is the punch line.<\/span><\/p>\nWhen I was in the ninth grade, my English teacher told the class that she had spent the prior evening at a Tom Jones concert, and that some women were throwing their underwear on stage. I\u2019ve never seen that happen, but Trevor Hoey said that the woman he brought to a Prince concert a while back threw her bra on stage, so it\u2019s apparently a fairly common behavior that inspired these two entries:<\/span><\/i><\/b><\/p>\n\n- \u201cFeel free to throw your panties.\u201d<\/i><\/b><\/li>\n
- \u201cPanties and bras are still welcome but the road has made me a tad leery.\u201d<\/i><\/b><\/li>\n<\/ul>\n
I like the way the second version suggests that the musician\u2019s sexual experiences with the groupies he met on tour motivated him to bring a washing machine on stage, but the first version is punchier.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\nThe idea behind this next caption is good, but the wording\u2019s a little clunky: <\/span>\u201c<\/b>We\u2019re going to slow it down now and do something intimate from our Delicate Cycle album.\u201d<\/i><\/b><\/p>\nThis entry acknowledges just how much washing machines and dryers weigh: <\/span>\u201cWe\u2019ll need some volunteers later to help us get back on the tour bus.\u201d<\/i><\/b> The next entry, however, suggests that the musician has no need for a tour bus (at least not yet): <\/span>\u201c<\/b>A few more gigs and we can finally move out of mom\u2019s basement.\u201d<\/i><\/b><\/p>\nA couple of you submitted jokes about the end-of-cycle signal:<\/span><\/i><\/b><\/p>\n\n- \u201cThanks, folks, my timer is up.\u201d<\/i><\/b><\/li>\n
- \u201cWe\u2019re gonna entertain you for exactly the next 30 minutes.\u201d<\/i><\/b><\/li>\n<\/ul>\n
Trevor Hoey and I loved this reference to concert tour apparel: <\/span>\u201cCheck out my merch table for some extremely clean shirts.\u201d<\/i><\/b><\/p>\nThis caption suggests that the musician on stage recently came in second during a competition for singers\/songwriters: <\/span>\u201c<\/b>First prize was a record deal.\u201d<\/i><\/b><\/p>\nFinally, we have a caption that solves the comic puzzle by combining references to both laundry and things that singers often say during a rock concert: <\/span>\u201cI\u2019m gonna take a shot break while I switch loads.\u201d<\/i><\/b><\/p>\nCongratulations to JEFFREY LAUTIN, who submitted the winning entry: <\/span>\u201cWe\u2019re gonna entertain you for exactly the next 30 minutes.\u201d<\/i><\/b> The runners up are:<\/span><\/i><\/b><\/p>\n\n- \u201cWe\u2019ll need some volunteers later to help us get back on the tour bus.\u201d<\/i><\/b><\/li>\n
- \u201cCheck out my merch table for some extremely clean shirts.\u201d<\/i><\/b><\/li>\n
- \u201cI\u2019d like to thank my band for helping me stay clean.\u201d<\/i><\/b><\/li>\n
- \u201cHere\u2019s one from my very worst album.\u201d<\/i><\/b><\/li>\n
- \u201cWe\u2019re Lawrence and the Machines.\u201d<\/i><\/b><\/li>\n<\/ul>\n
Watch the Judging Process<\/h3>\n
For those of you who want to see how we made our selections, we recorded the process and its posted below<\/p>\n
![\"CartoonStock](\"https:\/\/www.cartoonstock.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/09\/smallerCAPTION_CONTEST_Ivan_Ehlers-2023-1-300x300.jpg\")
<\/p>\n