Farley Katz<\/a> submitted the drawing for this month\u2019s caption contest. Unfortunately, he wasn\u2019t available to help us judge the entries because he was promoting his upcoming graphic novel, \u201cUNALIVE THE BILLIONAIRE$.\u201d I haven\u2019t seen it yet, but based on Katz\u2019s past work I\u2019m assuming it\u2019s dark and brilliant and funny. Timely, too.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\nHis drawing is set in a recording studio, where a rap artist is holding a cat and saying something to the recording engineer. Katz\u2019s original caption was, <\/span>\u201cThis rap goes out to my people with so much anxiety they need a service animal.\u201d<\/span><\/i>\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\nOn a recent Cartoon Caption Contest podcast, Vin Coca said this set-up would elicit many variations on two jokes. He didn\u2019t get specific, but I\u2019m guessing he was thinking of jokes based on the double-meanings of the words \u201cscratch\u201d and \u201cpussy.\u201d\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\nHere are the best scratch jokes:<\/span><\/i><\/b><\/p>\n\n- \u201cWe\u2019re ready to lay down the scratch track.\u201d<\/i><\/b><\/li>\n
- \u201cDo you have any vinyl he can scratch?\u201d<\/i><\/b><\/li>\n
- \u201cWhich one of us sounds scratchy?\u201d<\/i><\/b><\/li>\n
- \u201cLess scratching.\u201d<\/i><\/b><\/li>\n
- \u201cToo scratchy?\u201d<\/i><\/b><\/li>\n<\/ul>\n
And here are the best pussy jokes:<\/span><\/i><\/b><\/p>\n\n- \u201cThe other rappers are constantly talking about these.\u201d<\/i><\/b><\/li>\n
- \u201cWhen you\u2019re a star, they let you grab \u2019em.\u201d<\/i><\/b><\/li>\n<\/ul>\n
We appreciated the fact that both of those entries allude to the vulgar term without actually using it, and Bob especially liked the way the second caption mocked the President-elect. I\u2019m not looking forward to reviewing four more years of Trump jokes, but that\u2019s the least of our worries when it comes to the new administration.<\/span><\/p>\nFor nostalgic reasons, I love this entry: <\/span>\u201cIt sounds too much like Yoko.\u201d<\/i><\/b> I believe that\u2019s a reference to a 1972 episode of The Mike Douglas Show, when John Lennon and Yoko Ono joined Chuck Berry to perform \u201cMemphis, Tennessee.\u201d Yoko, who was standing behind Berry, let loose with one of her high-pitched screams, which sounded like a dying cat, and Berry\u2019s eyes flew open in shock.\u00a0 You can find a clip of the performance on YouTube, and it\u2019s worth watching.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\nMany of this month\u2019s best entries alluded to common feline behaviors, including their tendency to:\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\nTreat people with disdain:<\/span><\/i><\/b><\/p>\n\n- \u201cShe wants to call the album, \u201cIgnore you to death.\u2019\u201d<\/i><\/b><\/li>\n
- \u201cWhat rhymes with \u2018aloof?\u2019\u201d<\/i><\/b><\/li>\n<\/ul>\n
Chase things:<\/span><\/i><\/b><\/p>\n\n- \u201cGive the recording light another jiggle.\u201d<\/i><\/b><\/li>\n
- \u201cLet\u2019s bring in the strings.\u201d<\/i><\/b><\/li>\n<\/ul>\n
And hate dogs:<\/span><\/i><\/b><\/p>\n\n- \u201cPlease don\u2019t use the woofer.\u201d<\/i><\/b><\/li>\n
- \u201cThis one\u2019s about fighting with bitches.\u201d<\/i><\/b><\/li>\n<\/ul>\n
That last entry is especially good, as it manages to address not only the antagonistic relationship between felines and canines but the controversial nature of rap songs with violent and misogynistic lyrics.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\nThe next caption alludes to the fact that cats love to jump on surfaces where they don\u2019t belong: <\/span>\u201cThis one\u2019s called get the f@$k off the counter.\u201d<\/i><\/b><\/p>\nI\u2019d like that entry even better if the person who submitted it spelled out the word \u201cfuck.\u201d CartoonStock is not <\/span>The New Yorker<\/span><\/i> (though we use the same cartoonists), and we welcome the use of profanity as long as it\u2019s not employed solely for its shock value.<\/span><\/p>\nThis next caption combines a reference to alley cats with the idea that rap artists must establish their credibility as former thugs to succeed: <\/span>\u201cHe\u2019s inspired by the time he spent on the streets.\u201d<\/i><\/b><\/p>\nSpeaking of which, here\u2019s the month\u2019s best reference to Christopher George Latore Wallace: <\/span>\u201cThe Notorious C.A.T.\u201d<\/i><\/b><\/p>\nAnd here\u2019s the best reference to Calvin Cordozar Broadus Jr.: <\/span>\u201cSnoop Dog was taken.\u201d<\/i><\/b> I think he spells his name with two \u201cg\u2019s,\u201d though.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\nHere\u2019s the best reference to \u201cPop A Cap in Yo\u2019 Ass,\u201d which was written by Ben Watt, formerly (and perhaps surprisingly) half of the British duo, \u201cEverything but the Girl\u201d: <\/span>\u201cI\u2019m about to prop a cat on yo\u2019 glass.\u201d<\/i><\/b><\/p>\nI don\u2019t like captions that suggest one person has misheard another, but we received a lot of those jokes and these are probably the best:<\/span><\/i><\/b><\/p>\n\n- \u201cNah man, I never said I was bringing my posse.\u201d<\/i><\/b><\/li>\n
- \u201cI thought you said \u2018hiss track.\u2019\u201d<\/i><\/b><\/li>\n
- \u201cPosse. I said get my posse.\u201d<\/i><\/b><\/li>\n<\/ul>\n
I also don\u2019t like puns, but my fellow judges appreciated these three:<\/span><\/i><\/b><\/p>\n\n- \u201cNow, let\u2019s try the Meow Mix.\u201d<\/i><\/b><\/li>\n
- \u201cShe wants to do a hiss track.\u201d<\/i><\/b><\/li>\n
- \u201cThis is my new hiss track.\u201d<\/i><\/b><\/li>\n<\/ul>\n
Here\u2019s a clever reference to the importance of social media in the music business and the popularity of cat videos: <\/span>\u201cI\u2019m trying to go viral.\u201d<\/i><\/b> Bob thinks that entry is outdated because cat videos are no longer popular. I reminded Bob that, in the HBO Documentary \u201cVery Semi-Serious,\u201d he joked that his assistant Marc Philippe Eskenazi wasted a lot of time watching cat videos when he [Marc] should have been reviewing caption contest entries. Bob responded that the documentary is ten years old. Never try to win an argument with Bob. It can\u2019t be done.<\/span><\/p>\nFinally, here are two entries for people who think cats are cute:<\/span><\/i><\/b><\/p>\n\n- \u201cLet\u2019s put this on the cover and re-release it as a children\u2019s album.\u201d<\/i><\/b><\/li>\n
- \u201cI\u2019m trying to give a softer image to gangsta rap.\u201d<\/i><\/b><\/li>\n<\/ul>\n
Congratulations to KATHY WROBEL, of East Hartland, Connecticut, who submitted this month\u2019s winning caption: <\/span>\u201cThis one\u2019s about fighting with bitches.\u201d<\/i><\/b> Kathy\u2019s having a great month. Just last week she won <\/span>The New Yorker<\/span><\/i>\u2019s cartoon caption contest:<\/span>\u00a0 ![\"\"](\"https:\/\/www.cartoonstock.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2024\/12\/elliscap-300x290.jpg\")
<\/p>\nI hope she spends most of her winnings on copies of my book, \u201cYour Caption Has Been Selected\u2014More Than Anyone Could Possibly Want To Know About <\/span>The New Yorker<\/span><\/i> Cartoon Caption Contest.<\/span><\/p>\nThe five runners-up for this month\u2019s contest are:<\/span><\/i><\/b><\/p>\n\n- \u201cShe wants to call the album, \u201cIgnore you to death.\u2019\u201d<\/i><\/b><\/li>\n
- \u201cThis one\u2019s called get the f@$k off the counter.\u201d<\/i><\/b><\/li>\n
- \u201cHe\u2019s inspired by the time he spent on the streets.\u201d<\/i><\/b><\/li>\n
- \u201cWhen you\u2019re a star, they let you grab \u2019em.\u201d\u00a0<\/i><\/b><\/li>\n
- \u201cToo scratchy?\u201d<\/i><\/b>
\n<\/span><\/li>\n<\/ul>\nWatch the Judging Process<\/h3>\n
If you want to see how we made our selections, we recorded the process and posted it below<\/p>\n
![\"CartoonStock](\"https:\/\/www.cartoonstock.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2024\/12\/Caption_Contest_-_Kitten_In_Booth-300x215.jpg\")
<\/p>\n