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How babies are made.
"Very nice, but I understood there were to be bizarre sexual experiments."
Tags:probe, probes, probing, alien probe, alien probes, alien abduction, alien abductions, abduct, abducts, abducting, disappointment, disappointments, disappointing, false advertisement, false advertisements, false advertising, valentine, valentines, request, requests, requesting, science fiction, scifi, sci-fi, woo, woos, wooing, romance, romances, romancing, valentine's day, valentines day, flowers, chocolates, seduce, seduces, seduction, seductions
"We've heard the rumors, ma'am—there's absolutely nothing to them."
Tags:rumor, rumors, rumour, rumours, monster, monsters, kidnap, kidnaps, kidnapping, alien, aliens, abduct, abducts, abduction, abductions, mislead, misleads, misleads, paranoia, paranoid, fear, fears, fearful, fearfulness, deny, denies, denying, denial, denials, refute, refutes, refuting, refutation, refutations
"Mein Gott! It never occurred to me that Hansel and Gretel might be Hitler Youth."
Tags:fairy tale, fairy tales, fairy story, fairy stories, brothers grimm, the brothers grimm, grimms fairy tales, grimm's fairy tales, hansel and gretel, german fairy tales, witch, witches, gingerbread house, gingerbread houses, hitler youth, the hitler youth, world war two, world war 2, ww2, wwii, second world war, the second world war, hilter, german fairy tale, abduct, abduction, abducted, kidnap, kidnapping, kidnapped, cannibalism, cannibalism, hitlerjugend, hj, nazi party
"I had a touch of the flu last February, and that funny ache in my thumb still flares up when it's damp, but, thanks to the diet and exercise program you recommended, I feel better all around since the last abduction."
Tags:health, healthy, healthcare, wellbeing, checkup, check-up, check up, checkups, check-up, check, check ups, alien, aliens, extra terrestrial, probed, probe, probes, abduct, abducted, abduction, conspiracy, doctor, doctors, nurse, patient, patients, hospital, hospitals, healthcare, health-care, health care, medicare, medi care, obama care, obama-care
'That's my weird Uncle Benny. He claims that he was abducted by aliens in white lab coats.'
Tags:rat, rats, mouse, mice, rodent, rodents, alien, aliens, abduct, abducts, abduction, abductions, abducted, crazy, craziness, weird, strange, odd, different, claim, claims, claiming, claimed, scientist, scientists, test, tests, testing, tested, animal testing, product testing, the flying mccoys, flying mccoys
"They were pleasant enough at the beginning."
"Tell everyone it was a bigger bird."
Tags:bird, birds, bird of prey, birds of prey, seabird, seabirds, abducted, abduct, kidnap, kidnapped, antic, antics, wacky, summer, summer people, vacation, vacations, holiday, holidays, beach, beach house, summer house, summer home, leave, on leave, out of office, beaches, coast, carried off, ego, pride, hurt pride, unimpressive, unimpressed, legacy, legacies, public relations, spin, spin doctor
"You'd think they never heard of 'catch and release' before."
Tags:catch and release, fishermen, fishing, fishing joke, outdoor magazine, fishing magazine, fishing enthusiast, fishing enthusiasts, invasion, invade, invading, invaded, abduct, abduction, abducting, alien, aliens, martians, martian, ufo, spaceship, spaceships, star ship, star ships, flying saucer, flying saucers, extraterrestrial, extraterrestrials, role reversal, sci-fi, sci fi, science fiction, fantasy
How am I abducting?
"Who asked for Steve Buscemi?"
'My earthling abductees' organs are grade A.'
Tags:alien, aliens, ufo, ufos, flying saucer, flying saucers, abduct, abducts, abduction, abductions, abducted, space aliens, space alien, extraterrestrial, et, extraterrestrials, space flight, space flights, space, outer space, planets, alien planets, universe, cosmos, organ, organs, advertise, advertises, advertisement, advertisements, earthling, earthlings, organ farm, organ farms, organ farming
"Hey! That was my stop back there!"
Hair being abducted
Aliens with abducted person look at a suggestion box.
When Paul finally emerges, his partner is gone, and he is left to finish the round with a cooler of beer all to himself and no one to catch him cheating.
'Yo, Corona! Pack your stuff! You've been traded.'
Tags:alein, aliens, martian, martians, extra terrestrial, extra terrestrials, ufo, ufos, abduct, abducts, abduction, abductions, baseball, base ball, player, players, trade, trades, trading, traded, swap, swaps, swapping, swapped, traders, traders, select, selects, selection, selections, in the bleachers, bleachers, in the bleachers
'I appreciate your efforts in negotiating my release. Now, about those concessions you offered...'
'...Man, I'll be glad when this inning is over.'
Tags:baseball, base ball, meteor, meteors, meteorite, meteorites, abduct, abducts, abduction, abductions, abducted, ufo, ufos, alien, aliens, inning, innings, lightning, strike, strikes, pitch, pitches, pitching, pitcher, pitchers, disaster, disasters, disastrous, natural disaster, in the bleachers, bleachers, in the bleachers
'...I mean, kicked out of the game is serious, but kicked off the planet?'
Tags:baseball, base ball, umpire, umpires, ref, refs, referee, referees, send off, sends off, sending off, sent off, ufo, ufos, unidentified flying object, unidentified flying objects, spaceship, spaceships, space ship, space ships, abduct, abducts, abduction, alien, aliens, expel, in the bleachers, bleachers, in the bleachers
This is why only stupid people get abducted.
'To be quite honest, this isn't what I expected from an alien abduction.'
'Quickly, Janice, where do you keep the sellotape?'