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'In the future, everyone will have fifteen minutes of tenure.'
'This part was tenure.'
Academic Idol - 'Professor Johannsen's paper was zippy. It had robust vocabulary and I almost felt that I could dance to it. I would give it a 7.'
Part-time, Associate, Tenured.
'We've had a couple of requests for an academic brouhaha, so we'll be preparing one of those today.'
"Professor, we need you to stop. The Student Union has decided that the earth is flat."
'It's only four acres but we're glad we bought it - he's always wanted to be an expert in his own field.'
"I love academe. And academe loves me to death. But crap, I'm just not in love."
'Niche apres tenure. Niche before and you're toast.'
Academic Boogie Down - 'Once you've taught Sanskrit, there is no going back to Caligula.'
Martin's Magic Carpet: Martin views the Middle East situation for himself.
"We now begin to notice that very few major modern writers have had big hair."
Academics at the Beach: Professor Stints wears his patented total sun-blocking suit.
Academics at the Beach: "Camus might agree with you. De Beauvoir? Maybe. But Sartre? Never."
Academic Jeopardy: "The average wave in a sea of doubts measures this height."
Academic Jeopardy - "Reality divided by two gives us this truth."