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"They claim your paper was written by a ghost writer and your research was done by a ghost scientist."
"And he had it peer-reviewed by his fellow pseudoscientists."
'I see you're the co-author of this paper....which you will explain next week. '
'Well yes, the Lab's research output was down last year, but the whole year was pretty much wasted doing paperwork for the Science Review...'
"I have come to a specific and definite conclusion about the Constitution: It's ok, I guess."