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"I can't believe 'Jackass' wasn't nominated. What was the Academy thinking?"
"I'm very proud. Someone I've been stalking has been nominated for an Academy Award."
Barry Jenkins, Damien Chazelle, Peter Farrelly, Alfonso Cuaron, Ryan Coogler, Bradley Coooper
"Technically, it's not a crime, but it still feels wrong."
Academy Awards - 'And now for the best public apology for a politically incorrect slur...'
'Today let's start with a list of actors who were never nominated for an academy award...'
The award for the cutest baby concieved during an on-screen copulation...
"I don't know if it's the end of the foreign film winner or the start of'The Shape of Water'."
"Dear diary...Well at least I'm not having to watch the Oscars."
"OK darling think gracious ... you don't care that you didn't win ...it's beneath you ... and keep clapping ..."
"And the award for the Best Feature-Length Adaptation of an Anecdote goes to..."
"I love L.A."