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'It's not that Ted was a bad guy, he was just all out of 5's.'
One of the Dangers of Childhood Obesity
'See? The idiots put my danged knee replacement in backward!'
'He hasn't quite yet mastered the art of the diving header.'
"I wouldn't have thought baby boomers could still do cannonballs."
Tags:baby boomer, baby boomers, cannonball, cannonballs, daredevil, daredevils, stunt, stunts, stuntman, stuntmen, die, dies, dying, cause of death, causes of death, bathtub, bathtubs, tub, tubs, accident, accidents, accidental, accidental death, accidental deaths, age, ages, aging, ageing, ageing gracefully, aging gracefully, grow old, grows old, growing old, elder, elders, senior citizen, senior citizens, irresponsible, irresponsibility, fall, falls, slip and fall, slipping and falling
The Adventures of Break-O-Man
"You fool—I'm CIA, too!"
Tags:cia, ias, cia agent, cia agents, assassinate, assassinates, assassinating, assassination, assassinations, decoy, decoys, overthrow, overthrows, overthrowing, dictator, dictators, coups, coups, military coup, accident, accidents, spy, spies, spying, double agent, double agents, spy game, spy games, spook, spooks, latin america
"Drowning. What's new with you?"
"To make it look like an accident."
Tags:accident, accidents, accidental, cover-up, covers up, covering up, execution, execution, mafia hit, mafia hits, mobster, mobsters, whacked, banana peel, banana skin, banana skins, murder, murders, murderer, murderers, gangster, gangsters, forensic, forensic investigation, forensic investigations, clue, clues, planting evidence, plant, plants, planting, accident, accidents, look like an accident, make it look like an accident, shooting, shootings
'Laugh as Some Might, Carl's Inflatable Tie Kept Him Afloat Until Help Arrived.'
Tags:rescue, rescued, rescuer, inflated, inflate, blow up, inflatable tie, float, floating, flotation, flotation device, ocean, oceans, ocean liner, cruise liner, cruise, cruise ship, fashion, fashions, fashionable, fashion faux pas, novel, novelty, novelty tie, novelty ties, novelties, invent, invention, sea, lost at sea, sink, sank, sunk, accident
"This is Mrs. Burlington Wells. One of my begonias went off by accident and killed Mr. Goodrich."
Tags:begonia, begonias, flower, flowers, flower pot, flower pots, accident, accidents, accidental, murder, murders, murdering, killing, killings, murder weapon, murder weapons, excuse, excuses, alibi, alibis, accidental death, accidental deaths, manslaughter, likely story, likely stories, murderess, murderesses, fall, falls, falling, heavy object, heavy objects
"Did you leave your bag unattended or trade your cow for magic beans?"
Tags:airport, airports, airport security, nothing to declare, contraband, contraband items, aeroplane, aeroplanes, aiplane, airplanes, travel, travelling, travellers, customs, border control, border protection, jack and the beanstalk, giant beanstalk, jack and the giant beanstalk, jack and the magic beanstalk, fairy tale, fairy tales, unattended luggage, unattended bag, unattended bags, unattended baggage, luggage, bag, bags, bagg, security guard, security guards, age, hold luggage, cabin luggage, law enforcement, law enforcer, federal law enforcement, illegal item, illegal items, smuggling, smuggler, accident, accidental, mistake, biologicals, banned biologicals, agricultural permit, agricultural permits
'Wow! The earache I've had for three weeks is gone!'
Men's Intuition: 'Oh, I can tell from that look you're never going to let this go.'
Road that goes off a cliff with a sign stating "We regret the error".
Tags:sign, signs, road signs, road signs, signage, car, cars, vehicle, vehicles, automobile, automobiles, road, roads, dead end, dead ends, dead-end, dead-end, cliff, cliffs, fall, falls, falling, accident, accidents, car accident, car accidents, error, errors, mistake, mistakes, dangerous, risky, regret, regrets, correction, corrections, too late, apology, apologies, apologizing, apologising, transportation
Buck's Truckin' - "Safety third!"
Tags:truck, trucks, trucking, trucker, tuckers, long distance, long distances, safety, priority, priorities, prioritize, prioritizes, prioritizing, prioritise, prioritises, prioritising, accident, accidents, car accident, car accidents, fender bender, fender benders, road safety, highway safety, change lanes, changes lanes, changing lanes
"Easy on the fast balls, will you, kid?"
Tags:fast ball, fast balls, pitch, pitches, pitching, pitcher, pitchers, catcher, catchers, injury, injuries, sports injury, sports injuries, good arm, good arms, great arm, ease up, eases up, easing up, accident, accidents, accidental, too hard, speed, speedy, baseball, baseballs, baseball player, baseball players, meeting on the mound, pitcher's mound, meeting, meetings, tip, tips
As is often the case, many of the world's great discoveries are accidental.
Tags:truck, trucks, lorry, lorries, crash, crashes, accident, accidents, accidental, chocolate, chocolates, milk, milky, white, cow, cows, cattle, road, roads, driving, drivers, hit, hits, combine, combines, combination, combinations, invention, inventions, discovery, discover, discovers, the argyle sweater, argyle sweater
"Well, I hope you're happy, Mr. Science Genius. Now you've killed your little sister."
Tags:science kit, science kits, genius, geniuses, child prodigy, child prodigies, sisters, brother, brothers, chemist, chemists, chemistry, chemistry set, chemistry sets, test, tests, experiment, experiments, science experiment, science experiments, poison, poisons, poisoning, toxic, toxic gas, toxic gases, toxic gasses, carbon monoxide, accident, accidents, scold, scolds, scolding, manslaughter, murder, murders, murderer, murderers, mad scientist, mad scientists
"What were you texting that was so important?"
Tags:text, texts, texting, texting and driving, accident, accidents, car accident, car accidents, traffic accident, traffic accidents, priorities, wrong priorities, bad priorities, mistake, messages, messaging, mistakes, modern life, modern attitudes, irresponsible, phone, phones, mobile, mobiles, cell, cells, cellphone, cellphones, smartphone, smartphones
'...You push the wrong button, and now, instead of our fans enjoying a fireworks display, we've got an international incident on our hands.'
Tags:icbm, missile, missiles, launch, launches, launched, launching, firework, fireworks, display, displays, intercontinental ballistic missile, baseball, base ball, stadium, stadiums, stadia, fan, fans, fanatic, fanatics, incident, incidents, accident, accidents, button, buttons, in the bleachers, bleachers, in the bleachers
'Good grief, Mary! That was a close one!'
"Who left the oatmeal grape cake out all night?"
"Charlie, it's us, your teammates. We're here to help you. The other team's getting an awful lot of hits and we're worried."
Tags:worry, worries, worrying, worrier, worriers, pitcher, pitchers, pitching, baseball, baseball player, baseball players, meeting on the mound, meetings on the mound, intervention, interventions, intervene, intervenes, intervening, fail, fails, failing, failure, failures, bad day, bad days, rough day, rough days, rub it in, rubs it in, rubbing it in, mistake, mistakes, accident, accidents, embarrass, embarrasses, embarrassing, humiliate, humiliates, humiliating, alcoholic, alcoholics, alcoholism