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"It's not the best way to choose who makes partner, but I love the look on their faces when the wheel spins."
'What made you want to apply to this accountancy firm in particular?'
'We'll have to make it more obscure, a couple of our clients understood it.'
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accountancy, accountants, accountant, account, accounts, bookkeeper, bookkeepers, bookkeeping, book-keeper, book-keepers, book-keeping, number cruncher, number crunchers, finance, financial sector, accountancy firms, accountancy firm, fee structure, fee structures, finance sector, financial sector'This is Mr Pettigrew from accounts, he'll be handling your treatment from now on.'
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accountancy, accountants, accountant, account, accounts, bookkeeper, bookkeepers, bookkeeping, book-keeper, book-keepers, book-keeping, number cruncher, number crunchers, finance, financial sector, accountancy firms, accountancy firm, medical insurance, health insurance, medical bill, medical bills, healthcare cost, healthcare costs, patient care, patient-careWe try to be helpful, you can bring in the rest tomorrow.'
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accountancy, accountants, accountant, account, accounts, bookkeeper, bookkeepers, bookkeeping, book-keeper, book-keepers, book-keeping, number cruncher, number crunchers, finance, financial sector, accountancy firms, accountancy firm, irs, inland revenue, internal revenue, service, tax inspector, tax inspectors, tax return, tax returns, audit, audits, tax office, tax offices'For people to think we just pluck figures out of THIN AIR is RIDICULOUS, we use a bucket.'
'I'm afraid there's no tax deductibility for 'A life wasted in fruitless search for fulfillment through the acquisition of meaningless wealth'.'
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accountancy, accountants, accountant, account, accounts, bookkeeper, bookkeepers, bookkeeping, book-keeper, book-keepers, book-keeping, number cruncher, number crunchers, finance, financial sector, accountancy firms, accountancy firm, tax deductible, tax deduction, tax deductions, philosophy, tax break, tax breaks, tax cut, tax cuts, philosophies'Having reviewed your finances I think your best option is to run from the office screaming 'Oh! My GOD I'm bankrupt, I'm ruined, dear god how did it happen?''
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accountancy, accountants, accountant, account, accounts, bookkeeper, bookkeepers, bookkeeping, book-keeper, book-keepers, book-keeping, number cruncher, number crunchers, finance, financial sector, accountancy firms, accountancy firm, financial adviser, financial advisers, financial advice, bankrupt, bankruptcy, bankruptcies, bankrupted'Most of our staff are now qualified...mainly as accountants!'
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accountancy, accountants, accountant, account, accounts, bookkeeper, bookkeepers, bookkeeping, book-keeper, book-keepers, book-keeping, number cruncher, number crunchers, finance, financial sector, accountancy firms, accountancy firm, nursing qualification, nursing qualifications, nurse, patient care, accountancy training, hospital, hospitals, healthcare, health care, medical bills, healthcare costs'Excellent Hoskins, you've got all the right numbers, now shall we see if you can put them in the right order?'
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accountancy, accountants, accountant, account, accounts, bookkeeper, bookkeepers, bookkeeping, book-keeper, book-keepers, book-keeping, number cruncher, number crunchers, finance, financial sector, accountancy firms, accountancy firm, performance review, performance reviews, job skill, job skills, test, tests, interview, interviews'Nigel is ALWAYS finding ways of making our messages more accessible.'
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accountancy, accountants, accountant, account, accounts, bookkeeper, bookkeepers, bookkeeping, book-keeper, book-keepers, book-keeping, number cruncher, number crunchers, finance, financial sector, accountancy firms, accountancy firm, interpretive dance, interpretive dances, quarterly report, quarterly reports, communications'Right so that'll be a £450,000 basic plus £50,000 for people calling you a 'glorified bean counter' and another £35,000 for people making assumptions about your masculinity!'
'Accounting trickes didn't work, so we had to resort to witchcraft.'
"You know you said you were looking forward to meeting your first client...?"
"We have a hazing for all our new accountants where we make them crunch letters."
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accountant, accountancy, accountants, accountancy firm, accountancy firms, businessmen, businessman, haze, hazes, bully, bullies, bullying culture, bullying cultures, number cruncher, number crunchers, number crunching, hazing, crunch numbers, crunch, crunchtime, cfo, cpa, numbers, financials, financial statements, financial statement, new job, new jobs, boss, run the numbers'The question is, do we credit you or your lucky socks with landing the account?'
'G+N Accountants': 'Mr Gross' (fat) and 'Mr Net' (thin).
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gross pay, net pay, gross, net, g+n, gross and net, pay, wage, wages, income, salary, salaries, weight, size, sizes, overweight, underweight, build, body size, body sizes, accountant, accountants, accountancy firm, accountancy firmsJones and Shayes - Certified Public Accountants. Scales outside offer to tell your weight and tax bracket.