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"It's not cotton, honey. It's nylon quilted to polyester. The leaves and trim are twenty per cent acrylic and eighty per cent modacrylic, and the flowers are acetate. The backing is polypropylene. Go to bed."
'...well Martha's just converting some alcohol to acetaldehyde and then to acetate, and then to CO2 and water but I can get her to call you later...'