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"I've decided to start groaning every time I have to move my body a little bit."
'Almost everything I have hurts and what doesn't hurt doesn't work!'
"Your back is killing me!"
'All I can say is, I didn't have all this arthritis and lumbago back when Nixon was President!'
"I must be getting old, my feet hurt even before I get out of bed in the morning!"
'You say the pains in my left leg are caused by old age. But doctor my right leg is just as old and it doesn't hurt at all!'
You know you're middle aged...
Man's aching body makes all the noise in the library.
"Maybe we should be rocket scientists instead of doctors."
'Aches! Pains! Fever! I'm going to call tech support.'
'Growing old is like being continually punished for a crime you never committed...'
"To save time, let's tell each other which parts of our bodies aren't aching."
"Ooh, I must sit down - I'm dead on my feet!"
"Thanks for switching. My back was killing me."
"Face it, darling - you've reached that 'funny age...'"
"Do you think you can work these knots out?"
"Will you still love me when I'm old and past it?"