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"I've decided to start groaning every time I have to move my body a little bit."
Undiagnosed middle-age-onset discomfort summer tour
'Almost everything I have hurts and what doesn't hurt doesn't work!'
"Your back is killing me!"
'All I can say is, I didn't have all this arthritis and lumbago back when Nixon was President!'
"I must be getting old, my feet hurt even before I get out of bed in the morning!"
'You say the pains in my left leg are caused by old age. But doctor my right leg is just as old and it doesn't hurt at all!'
You know you're middle aged...
Man's aching body makes all the noise in the library.
"Maybe we should be rocket scientists instead of doctors."
Tags:baldo, doctor, doctors, play doctor, playing doctor, pretend, pretends, pretending, imagination, children's game, children's games, ache, aches, aches and pains, ageing, ageing process, aging process, aging, pain, pains, everyday pain, everyday pains, rocket scientist, rocket scientists, dream job, dream jobs, recalibrate, recalibrating
'Aches! Pains! Fever! I'm going to call tech support.'
'Growing old is like being continually punished for a crime you never committed...'
"To save time, let's tell each other which parts of our bodies aren't aching."
"Ooh, I must sit down - I'm dead on my feet!"
Tags:grim reaper, reapers, grim, grims, angel of death, embodiment of death, reaper, messenger of death, party, get together, feeling your age, aches and pains, scythe, guardian of the underworld, socialising, socialise, having a drink, stiff joints, old as you feel, getting on a bit, death, afterlife, middle age spread, dodgy health
"I don't care about your various ailments. I'm the one who complains to you."
Tags:complaint, complaining, complaint window, dissatisfaction, customer, customer complaints, aches and pains, complaints department, complaints departments, complained, customer experience, medical ailment, medical ailments, whine, whines, whining, customer satisfaction, dissatisfied customer, dissatisfied customers, unhappy customer, unhappy customers
"Thanks for switching. My back was killing me."
Tags:psychology, psychologist, psychologists, psychiatry, psychiatrist, psychiatrists, chair, couch, psychiatrist's couch, therapy, analyst, analysts, lower back pain, back pain, ergonomic, comfort, comfortable, switch, switch places, switching, social issues, selfish, lying down, sitting, sitting down, support, reversal, mental health, health, pain, sore, soreness, accommodating, polite, old age, aches, pains, aches and pains, back support, back problem, back problems
"Getting old stinks. I can barely get out from under the bed each morning."
"Face it, darling - you've reached that 'funny age...'"
Tags:clown, clowns, circus, circuses, circus clown, circus clowns, entertainers, children's entertainer, children's entertainers, middle-age, entertainer, funny age, middle age, old age, grumpy, wife, husband, pierrot, armchair, being old, elderly, aches and pains, jester, march of time, senile, decrepit, jesters, old age, old-age
"Do you think you can work these knots out?"
Tags:masseuse, masseur, masseuses, masseurs, massages, massage therapist, massage therapists, massage therapy, massage therapies, stress, stressed out, cord, cords, wire, wires, massage therapist, rub, knots, knot, cords, cord, electrical cord, therapy, aches and pains, relaxation, relaxing, relaxations, back pain, back injury
"Will you still love me when I'm old and past it?"
Tags:husband, husbands, wives, old married couple, old married couples, wives, husband, husbands, old age, old-age, pensioner, pensioners, wife, elderly couple, life partners, partners, settee, sofa, age, middle age, love, past it, getting old, aches and pains, affection, deep love, marriage, married couple, growing old together, til death us do part, marriage vows
"Relax, at your age it's perfectly natural to make groaning noises every time you move a body part."