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"Fill out this tag and attach it to your big toe."
Tags:hopeless case, hopeless cases, fatal injury, fatal injuries, disease, diseases, deadly disease, deadly diseases, give up hope, giving up hope, dead body, dead bodies, morgue, the morgue, morgues, mortician, morticians, hospital admission, hospital admissions, paper work, form, forms, admission, admissions
Since college admissions officers might see his Facebook page...
The bane of every college applicant: the admissions essay.
Gretchen encounters the mother of all SAT questions.
Tags:sat, exam, exams, test, tests, america, american, americans, reasoning, scholastic aptitude test, sophomore, sophomores, junior, juniors, senior, seniors, difficult, impossible, hard, question, questions, college, colleges, admission, admissions, testing, math, maths, mathematics, close to home
"She leaves wooden-handled knives soaking in the dishwater all night long. Your Honor."
Tags:relationship, relationships, relationship issues, relationship problems, marriage, marriages, married life, couple, couples, husband, husbands, wife, wives argument, arguments, arguing, fight, fights, fighting, disagreement, disagreements, conflict, conflicts, asleep, sleeping, dream, dreams, dreaming, talking in your sleep, trial, trials, on trial, court, courts, courtroom, courtrooms, judge, judges, your honor, your honour, washing the dishes, dishwashing, chore, chores, knife, knives, soaking, complain, complaining, complaint, complaints, truth, honest, honesty, confession, confessions, admission, admissions, bed, beds, bedroom scene, bedroom scenes
"Being from another planet is worth thirty points towards your child's admission to Harvard."
Tags:alien, aliens, extraterrestrial, extraterrestrial, little green men, little green man, admissions, admission, university, universities, university admission, university admissions, admission criterea, helicopter parent, helicopter parents, pushy parent, pushy parents, overparent, overparenting, college, colleges, unfair advantage, unfair advantages, prestigious univeristy, prestigious universities
"Honey, I cheated on you. Wow! That went much better than I thought it would."
"Now, remember, be the yourself we talked about."
Tags:be yourself, advice, parent, parents, parenting, admission, admissions, school, schools, selective schools, high school, high schools, schooling, schooled, cliche, advise, pushy, pushy parents, child, children, overbearing, kid, kids, pressure, pressures, just be yourself, education, educational, learning
Hoping to convince the university that he is worthy of a wrestling scholarship, Nick pins the director of admissions in 13 seconds.
"Yo! My man! Who be needin' 'Ariadne auf Naxos' tickets?"
Tags:opera, operas, concert, concerts, music, entertainment, performance, performances, sold out, ticket sales, ticket, tickets, scalper, scalpers, scalping, hawker, hawkers, selling tickets, buying tickets, ticket seller, ticket sellers, ticket resale, ticketing touting, admission, entertainment, greed, greedy, money, modern life
"Tickets to the birth of my son or daughter? I got 'em who needs 'em?"
Tags:parent, parents, parenthood, father, fathers, fatherhood, dad, dads, pregnancy, pregnancies, new baby, baby, babies, newborn, newborns, birth, son, sons, daughter, daughter, child, children, kid, kids, hospital, hospitals, maternity ward, maternity wards, ticket, tickets, buy tickets, scalper, scalpers, ticket scalping, ticket seller, ticket sellers, ticket resale, ticketing touting, admission, proud, proud parent, proud parents, show-off, showing-off, brag, bragging, sketchy, dodgy
A classroom full of young children; a schedule board in the background lists the day's activities which include: circle time, art fun, snack and S.A.T. prep.
Tags:education, school, schools, schooling, teaching, teacher, teachers, student, students, classroom, classrooms, class, classes, score, scores, test, tests, testing, college, colleges, university, universities, academics, academic, mark, marks, grade, grades, bureaucracy, requirement, requirements, admission, admissions, standardised testing, standardised test, standardised tests, standardized testing, standardized test, standardized tests, prep, preparation, preparing, getting ahead, primary, elementary, kindergarten, nursery school, preschool, daycare, kid, kids, child, children, toddler, toddlers, modern education, modern life
"I know where the bodies are buried. I buried them."
Tags:death, dead, dead body, dead bodies, died, die, dying, kill, killed, killer, killers, murder, murderers, murderer, tampering with evidence, obstruction, obstruction of justice, accomplice, accomplices, illegal, law and order, admission, drunk, drunken words, drunk confession, confession, confessions, drink, drinks, drinking, alcohol, bar, bars, pub, pubs, cocktail, cocktails, cocktail bar, cocktail bars, businessmen, businessman
"Well, all your good deeds appear to be in order - now all that's left is the cavity search."
Tags:religion, religious, death, after death, afterlife, heaven, heaven's gate, entrance to heaven, st. peter's gate, saint peter's gate, pearly gates, st. peter, saint peter, angel, angels, entering heaven, good deed, good deeds, requirement, requirements, admission, bureaucracy, security, cavity search, cavity searches, security screening, security screenings, tsa, t.s.a., transportation security administration, department of homeland security, invasive, invasion of privacy, invasions of privacy
'He's having so much fun doing his job that I'm going to have to start charging him an admission.'
"Just getting the hell out of here is worth the price of admission."
Tags:movie, movies, film, films, show, shows, entertainment, entertaining, musical, musicals, play, plays, admission, debby downer, debby downers, debbie downer, debbie downers, negative nancy, negative ninny, bad mood, cinema, cinemas, movie theatre, movie theater, theatre, theater, theatres, theaters
'According to your electronic file...In 1998 you sold your soul to the devil on Ebay...'
'Rooms are £200 a day. Did you want nurses...? Bed...? Sheets...?...'
'My S.A.T. scores were too low? That's it?'
"First, admit no harm."
Tags:hospital, hospitals, clinic, clinics, doctor's office, doctor's office, medical, medicine, doctor, doctors, health, health care, healthcare, malpractice, medical malpractice, lawyer, lawyers, counselor, counselors, counsellors, counsellors, attorney, attorneys, solicitor, solicitors, barrister, barristers, legal counsel, legal, litigation, lawsuit, lawsuits, admission, admissions, harm, admission of guilt, legal advice, modern life
'I see you have a rich and generous father. You're in.'
Hospital Admissions: 'Intensive and/or expensive care?'
"We want you to have fund, as long as it's fun that enhances a college-admission application."
Tags:teen, teens, teenager, teenagers, teenage, college, colleges, university, universities, uni, unis, admission, admissions, application, applications, mom, moms, mum, mums, mother, mothers, family life, family-life, motherhood, strict, strict parent, strict parents, helicopter parent, helicopter parents, ambition, ambitions, ambitious, pushy parent, pushy parents, helicopter parent, helicopter parents
"A lot of them I only pretend to watch over."
Tags:religion, religious, heaven, god, angel, angels, watch over, watching over, guard, guarding, protect, protecting, christianity, christian, christians, pretend, pretending, make-believe, human, humans, prayer, prayers, pray, praying, impossible, overworked, limited time, confession, confessions, confessing, admission, admissions, admitting
You got into the college of my choice, and I got into the college of your choice. Now if we could just work something out...