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"Fill out this tag and attach it to your big toe."
Tags:hopeless case, hopeless cases, fatal injury, fatal injuries, disease, diseases, deadly disease, deadly diseases, give up hope, giving up hope, dead body, dead bodies, morgue, the morgue, morgues, mortician, morticians, hospital admission, hospital admissions, paper work, form, forms, admission, admissions
Since college admissions officers might see his Facebook page...
The bane of every college applicant: the admissions essay.
Gretchen encounters the mother of all SAT questions.
Tags:sat, exam, exams, test, tests, america, american, americans, reasoning, scholastic aptitude test, sophomore, sophomores, junior, juniors, senior, seniors, difficult, impossible, hard, question, questions, college, colleges, admission, admissions, testing, math, maths, mathematics, close to home
"She leaves wooden-handled knives soaking in the dishwater all night long. Your Honor."
Tags:relationship, relationships, relationship issues, relationship problems, marriage, marriages, married life, couple, couples, husband, husbands, wife, wives argument, arguments, arguing, fight, fights, fighting, disagreement, disagreements, conflict, conflicts, asleep, sleeping, dream, dreams, dreaming, talking in your sleep, trial, trials, on trial, court, courts, courtroom, courtrooms, judge, judges, your honor, your honour, washing the dishes, dishwashing, chore, chores, knife, knives, soaking, complain, complaining, complaint, complaints, truth, honest, honesty, confession, confessions, admission, admissions, bed, beds, bedroom scene, bedroom scenes
"Being from another planet is worth thirty points towards your child's admission to Harvard."
Tags:alien, aliens, extraterrestrial, extraterrestrial, little green men, little green man, admissions, admission, university, universities, university admission, university admissions, admission criterea, helicopter parent, helicopter parents, pushy parent, pushy parents, overparent, overparenting, college, colleges, unfair advantage, unfair advantages, prestigious univeristy, prestigious universities
"Now, remember, be the yourself we talked about."
Tags:be yourself, advice, parent, parents, parenting, admission, admissions, school, schools, selective schools, high school, high schools, schooling, schooled, cliche, advise, pushy, pushy parents, child, children, overbearing, kid, kids, pressure, pressures, just be yourself, education, educational, learning
Hoping to convince the university that he is worthy of a wrestling scholarship, Nick pins the director of admissions in 13 seconds.
"Our focus here is on the arts. Is he pottery trained?"
Tags:kid, kids, child, children, toddler, toddlers, parent, parents, parenting, parenthood, mom, moms, mum, mums, mother, mothers, motherhood, father, fathers, fatherhood, dad, dads, family, families, education, school, schools, schooling, nursery school, preschool, kindergarten, elementary school, primary school, liberal arts, art, arts, private school, private schools, private education, pottery, ceramics, artist, artists, visual arts, potty trained, toilet trained, potty training, toilet training, admissions, recruitment, wordplay, word play, play on words
A classroom full of young children; a schedule board in the background lists the day's activities which include: circle time, art fun, snack and S.A.T. prep.
Tags:education, school, schools, schooling, teaching, teacher, teachers, student, students, classroom, classrooms, class, classes, score, scores, test, tests, testing, college, colleges, university, universities, academics, academic, mark, marks, grade, grades, bureaucracy, requirement, requirements, admission, admissions, standardised testing, standardised test, standardised tests, standardized testing, standardized test, standardized tests, prep, preparation, preparing, getting ahead, primary, elementary, kindergarten, nursery school, preschool, daycare, kid, kids, child, children, toddler, toddlers, modern education, modern life
'According to your electronic file...In 1998 you sold your soul to the devil on Ebay...'
'My S.A.T. scores were too low? That's it?'
'Rooms are £200 a day. Did you want nurses...? Bed...? Sheets...?...'
"First, admit no harm."
Tags:hospital, hospitals, clinic, clinics, doctor's office, doctor's office, medical, medicine, doctor, doctors, health, health care, healthcare, malpractice, medical malpractice, lawyer, lawyers, counselor, counselors, counsellors, counsellors, attorney, attorneys, solicitor, solicitors, barrister, barristers, legal counsel, legal, litigation, lawsuit, lawsuits, admission, admissions, harm, admission of guilt, legal advice, modern life
"Don't cry, Mom. Lots of parents have children who didn't get into their first-choice college, and they went on to live happy, fulfilled lives."
Tags:kid, kids, child, children, parent, parents, parenting, parenthood, mom, moms, mum, mums, mother, mothers, motherhood, father, fathers, fatherhood, dad, dads, family, families, teen, teens, teenager, teenagers, adolescent, adolescents, adolescence, raising teens, raising teenagers, young adult, young adults, adult children, education, school, schools, schooling, teaching, learning, student, students, higher education, college, colleges, university, universities, happy, happiness, fulfilled, fulfilling, first-choice, cry, crying, upset, disappointment, disappointed, admissions, application, applications, rejection, rejected, rejection letter, rejection letters
'I see you have a rich and generous father. You're in.'
Hospital Admissions: 'Intensive and/or expensive care?'
"We want you to have fund, as long as it's fun that enhances a college-admission application."
Tags:teen, teens, teenager, teenagers, teenage, college, colleges, university, universities, uni, unis, admission, admissions, application, applications, mom, moms, mum, mums, mother, mothers, family life, family-life, motherhood, strict, strict parent, strict parents, helicopter parent, helicopter parents, ambition, ambitions, ambitious, pushy parent, pushy parents, helicopter parent, helicopter parents
"A lot of them I only pretend to watch over."
Tags:religion, religious, heaven, god, angel, angels, watch over, watching over, guard, guarding, protect, protecting, christianity, christian, christians, pretend, pretending, make-believe, human, humans, prayer, prayers, pray, praying, impossible, overworked, limited time, confession, confessions, confessing, admission, admissions, admitting
You got into the college of my choice, and I got into the college of your choice. Now if we could just work something out...
'Intensive and or expensive care?'
"Sorry, you would have made it, but you didn't shop local."
Tags:shop local, did not shop local, heaven, heaven admissions, angel, st. peter, pearly gates, rules of admissions, good and bad, heaven and hell, afterlife, campaign, shop local campaign, commerce, local commerce, support, angels, god, religion, sin, sinner, admission, admissions, saint, saints, heaven's door
"You're kidding! You count S.A.T.s?"
Tags:religion, religious, death, after death, afterlife, heaven, heaven's gate, entrance to heaven, st. peter's gate, saint peter's gate, pearly gates, st. peter, saint peter, angel, angels, getting into heaven, education, score, scores, test, tests, testing, college, colleges, university, universities, school, schools, schooling, academics, academic, mark, marks, grade, grades, bureaucracy, requirement, requirements, admission, admissions, standardised testing, standardised test, standardised tests, standardized testing, standardized test, standardized tests, modern life
'You have a good chance of recovery, if you can make it through hospital admissions.'
"You mean I went through a completely moral life and find there's just a 'secret handshake' to get in?"