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Adopt a pothole.
'Look, it left a note! It says it recently found out it was adopted and took off in search of it's real parents!'
Adopt a Desert
"We'd wanted to adopt for years, and then along came this absolutely adorable little roundabout."
"She got the house, the car, and the kids - Me, I got the mile of highway we adopted!?"
ADOPT-A-HIGHWAY, 'I'd love to, but I live in a very small apartment.'