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'Uh, Frank, this concept just isn't working for us.'
"I know R&D feels that the product warrants at least two 'really'."
"And this was the day our Marketing and Public Relations people finally exhausted their supply of 'come-from-behind-and-win-it-all' sports metaphors!"
If Einstein had hired a marketing consultant...
Toothpaste Marketing Department
"What we need are some fresh, new cliches."
"In my experience, cars with hyphens in their names are the best."
"Which will it be - do we label it '20% free', and raise the price 20%, or label lit '40% free', and raise the price 40%?"
"...and we're so sure you'll be satisfied, we're offering no guarantee at all."
"Dwayne is very important to us. He knows exactly when a trend will become a craze."
"$68,000? You said that deceptive ad would cost me $23,000."
"Its name - Kamizak - just sounds too threatening."
"What these product ideas lack is a little bite."
"We produce an inferior line of goods. That's why we're looking for a real first class marketing man."
Sugar Co - "We could advertise it as 100% salt free."
"Now remember, you can fool some of the people all of the time. Those are the ones you need to concentrate on."
"Let's not call it a square wheel. Let's call it a marketing opportunity."
"This is fantastic exaggeration, I think we can use you in our Advertising Dept."
"We're going to spend £5M to put over the message that our product is so good it sells itself!"
"...Leave the new improved and miracle breakthrough stuff to our advertising dept."
"Aye, don't have something a tad more friendly?"
'It's new and improved because we now have better advertising.'
Marketing pitch produces old cliches.
'More customers are asking for smaller drinks, so to maintain volume, we've reversed our sizes.'
"I want you to come up with a fifty second commercial that gives everybody a headache."