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'If this ever stops running, just smack it here a bunch of times and it should start right up.'
"Wherever you go, there you are."
Tags:old man on the mountain, wise man on the mountain, wise man, wise men, old man, old men, wisemen, wiseman, sage, sages, wise, guru, gurus, fictional character, fictional character, children's literature, literature, children's book, children's books, advice, philosophical, philosophy, book, books
"Feel free to take notes."
Self-Help Books For The Newly Dead
"It is unwise to have ones assets evenly divided among stocks, bonds and lottery tickets."
Tags:stock market, the stock market, stock and shares, investor, investors, investing, bond, bonds, lottery tickets, lottery ticket, poor investment, poor investments, investment advice, investment advisory, investment advisers, asset management, playing the lottery, advice, good advice, irresponsible, irresponsibility, banker, bankers
"Don't make waves."
"Would you know how to get back to the Interstate from here?"
'I warned him. 'Don't text and drive' ... He wouldn't listen.'
"Your basic rule of thumb should be,the bigger the guilt, the longer the stem."
Tags:flower, flowers, flower shop, flower shops, flower store, flower stores, florist, florists, bouquet, bouquets, buying flowers, relationship, relationships, relationship issues, relationship problems, love, romance, romantic, marriage, marriages, married life, couple, couples, husband, husbands, wife, wives, boyfriend, boyfriends, girlfriends, dating, argument, arguments, arguing, fight, fights, fighting, conflict, conflicts, guilt, guilty, feeling guilty, gift, gifts, present, present, make-up, makeup, making up, apology, apologies, apologising, apologizing, saying sorry, rule of thumb, rules of thumbs, rule, rules, stem, stems, long-stemmed, advice, marital advice, relationship advice
"Those who can't do teach others not to do."
'As your financial adviser, I see nothing wrong with putting all of your eggs in one basket.'
Tags:easter, easter bunny, easter bunnies, bunny, bunnies, rabbit, rabbits, egg, eggs, easter egg, easter eggs, basket, baskets, finance, finances, advice, advise, advises, advising, advisor, advisors, adviser, advisers, financial adviser, financial advisers, financial advisor, the flying mccoys, flying mccoys
"The 'Ho ho ho' thing—we get it. By Act II, I'm looking for it to have evolved."
Tags:santa, santa claus, father christmas, st. nick, saint nick, st. nicholas, saint nicholas, christmas, xmas, yule, noel, santa's workshop, ho ho ho, acting, actor, actors, actress, actresses, acting workshop, acting workshops, evolving, evolved, evolution, improvement, improving, acting coach, acting coaches, casting director, casting directors, training, critique, critiquing, critical, criticising, criticizing, advice, entertainment
"Perhaps you should limit yourself to one Krugman column a week."
"One of us has to draw the line somewhere, and I draw the line at mall sushi."
Tags:marriage, married, married life, old married couple, husbands and wives, husband and wife, husband, husbands, wife, wives, argue, argued, argument, arguments, arguing, argues, fight, fighting, fights, bicker, bickering, bickered, feeling, feelings, hurt feelings, hurt felling, couple, couples, communication, communicate, communication skills, marriage counselling, counselling, counsellor, advice, help, draw the line, drawing the line, sushi, eating out, out to eat, low standard, low standards, expectation, expectations, lowered, food crime, food crimes, foodie, foodies, food lover, food lovers
"Remember - we're not begging. We're crowdfunding."
Tags:homeless, homelessness, food pantry, food pantries, food bank, food banks, homeless shelter, homeless shelters, feed the homeless, charity shop, charity shops, charity, charities, donate, donation, donations, panhandle, panhandling, panhandler, panhandlers, panhandled, beg, begging, beggar, beggars, begged, spare some change, bum, bums, advice, strategize, strategizing, strategise, strategising
"Shaving your head takes the guesswork out of going bald."
Tags:bald, balding, alopecia, losing hair, losing your hair, going bald, ageing, getting old, getting older, middle age, middle aged, bald patch, bald patches, receding hairline, receding hairlines, shaving your head, vain, vanity, hairloss, hair loss, advice, good advice, giving advice, beauty tip, beauty tips, insecure, insecurities, guesswork
"Do you have any of those books that understand men?"
Tags:book, books, novel, novels, book shop, bookshop, book shops, bookshops, library, libraries, librarian, librarians, relationship, relationships, advice, advisory, relationship advice, dating advice, understand, understands, men, males, male species, help, self-help, self-help book, relationship guru, relationship gurus, counselling, failed relationships, dump, dumps, dumped, date, dates, dating
Poison Dart Training Camp.
"Let me know if you read anything in there about hair."
Tags:barber, barbers, hairdresser, hairdressers, hairstylist, hairstylists, hairdo, hairdos, hairstyle, hairstyles, incompetent, incompetence, mistake, mistakes, unprofessional, professionalism, magazine, magazines, advice, need advice, need help, professional, professional, haircut, haircuts, bad haircut, bad haircuts
Performance reviews in Hell.
"If you pause for just a beat before 'and the home of the brave,' it helps to sell the bit."
Tags:animal, animals, talking animal, talking animals, seal, seals, circus, circuses, trick, tricks, horn, horns, playing, music, musical instrument, musical instruments, national anthem, national anthems, united states, us, u.s., united states of america, usa, u.s.a., america, american, advice, advising, performer, performers, performing
"Now I have a question for you."
Tags:mountain, mountains, hermit, hermits, seek, seeking, advice, advisor, adviser, spiritual, spirituality, spiritualism, self help, reflection, reflect, meditate, meditation, hippy, hippies, guru, monk, monks, gurus, mountain man, witch doctor, preformative, enlightened, enlightenment, find yourself, choice, choices, fashion, fashions, fashionable, hat, fruit hat, fruit hats, tutu, tutus, question, questions, trend, trendy, trends
"I don't think you're getting enough stress."
Tags:stress, stress out, stressed out, stressing out, stressor, stressors, doctor's orders, relax, relaxation, doctor's advice, doctors advice, advice, order, orders, worry, worries, worrying, worrier, worriers, anxious, anxiousness, anxiety, anxieties, medical advice, physician, physicians, doctor, doctors, healthy living
"I'll tell you how I got here - hours and hours of hard visualization."
Tags:boss, bosses, leader, leaders, advice, advising, adviser, visualise, visualize, visualizing, visualising, goal, goals, cliche, cliches, psychology, psychological, success, secret to success, self help, self-help, useless, useless, trick, tricks, hard work, hard working, psychologist, psychologist, life coach, life coaching, life-coach, life-coaching, unhelpful, visualize your goals, business, businessman, businesses, ceo, chief executive officer, chief executive officers, c.e.o., success, successful
"That's great, but you still have to walk more."
Tags:superhero, superheroes, superpower, superpowers, super power, super powers, hero, heroes, doctor, doctors, hospital, hospitals, md, mds, gp, gps, general practitioner, general practitioner, clinic, clinics, check up, medical check up, check ups, medical check ups, advice, health advice, exercise, exercising, unfit, unfitness, overweight, obesity, obese, unhealthy, unhealthiness