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Litigator's Heaven: 'Would you look at this? No handrails! Man, someone is just asking for a big, fat lawsuit. And don't get me started on the heating system.'
'He's going to a better place . . . possibly to power an '86 jetta.'
'When did you die. . . '60s?'
A halo lifts a toupee off an angel.
"Joe, is that you? Can you really hear me? What's the password for the email?"
"Soon, my little friend, soon."
"Oh, and I've started seeing a therapist."
Tags:therapist, therapists, therapists, ghost, ghosts, sighting, sighting, sightings, spirit, spirits, apparition, apparitions, see a therapist, sees a therapist, seeing a therapist, hallucination, hallucinations, hallucinating, see things, sees things, seeing things, mental health, mental health problem, mental health problems, afterlife, afterlives
"'Coulda, woulda, shoulda'... yeah, we get a lot of that."
"All I seem to have brought with me is a headful of baseball statistics."
"I feel a draft."
"Damn, looks like that snotty kid of Ben and Edna's is coming up the tunnel of light."
Tags:heaven, heaven’s gate, afterlife, afterlives, after-life, after-lives, gates of heaven, death, dead, dying, child, children, family, families, family conflict, family conflicts, black sheep, black sheep of the family, brat, brats, bratty children, relatives, relative, snotty kid, snotty kids, snotty children, snotty child, there goes the neighborhood, cloud city, tunnel of light, tunnel of lights, white light, disappointment, disappointing
'You think this is hot. Try having hot flashes, too.'
Heaven - with Children
"How could you forget to bring your receipts?"
'Well...let's just say that, on a very local level, you were right.'
"Wait. Don't look. O.K., over my left shoulder-is that God?"
'Yes, I sold my soul...but what could I do? They held all the papers!'
"Sorry, Bernie. We found out about your rejuvenating jelly."
'Ok, I've gotta ask..do you actually like this job?'
Tags:charon, ferryman, ferrymen, living, livings, career, careers, styx, acheron, greek mythology, greek mythologies, underworld, hades, afterlife, afterlives, after-life, after-lives, job, jobs, bad joke, bad jokes, pun, puns, inappropriate, joke, jokes, humour, humor, grim reaper, grims, non sequitur
"So much for your attorneys."
Jesus snowblows a cloud.
"Bad timing – he's in one of his Old testament moods today."
'It's all her on your facebook page.'
'I was told that I'd be in a better place now. . . I don't think so.'
'Ok, give me your username & password one more time.'