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"It's pro-active, Stan. I'm leaving you before you become a midlife male sleazeball creep."
"Granted, we're living longer – on the other hand, we're out of it sooner."
Tags:life, living, long life, longevity, life expectancy, age, aging, old age, getting on, getting old, quality of life, low quality of life, old men, old man, grumpy old men, grumpy old man, bar, bars, pub, pubs, out of it, retirement, retire, retired, forced retirement, dementia, alzheimers, memory issues, losing it
"Act your birth order!"
Tags:child, children, baby, babies, kid, kids, sibling, siblings, older sibling, older siblings, younger sibling, younger sibling, older child, older children, younger child, younger children, age, act your age, immature, birth order, family, families, parent, parents, parenting, parenthood, raising a child, raising children, grow up, mother, mothers, mom, moms, mum, mums, motherhood, scold, scolding, tell off, telling off
"My parents are at the age where they're very involved with their own activities."
Tags:kid, kids, child, children, parent, parents, parenting, parenthood, mom, moms, mum, mums, mother, mothers, motherhood, father, fathers, fatherhood, dad, dads, family, families, nanny, nannies, babysitter, babysitters, babysitting, childminder, childminders, childcare, daycare, development, childhood, stages of development, age, ages, activity, activities, date night, date nights, individual, independent, independence
"I wouldn't have thought baby boomers could still do cannonballs."
Tags:baby boomer, baby boomers, cannonball, cannonballs, daredevil, daredevils, stunt, stunts, stuntman, stuntmen, die, dies, dying, cause of death, causes of death, bathtub, bathtubs, tub, tubs, accident, accidents, accidental, accidental death, accidental deaths, age, ages, aging, ageing, ageing gracefully, aging gracefully, grow old, grows old, growing old, elder, elders, senior citizen, senior citizens, irresponsible, irresponsibility, fall, falls, slip and fall, slipping and falling
30 year old in the Suburbs. 30 year old in Chicago. 30 year old in San Francisco
"I never think of you, as, like, old, Jack. I think of you as, like, retro."
Tags:modern, modernity, modernize, modern world, modern life, middle age, middle-age, middle aged, middle-aged, mid life, midlife, mid-life, mid life crisis, midlife crisis, mid-life crisis, retro, out of fashion, old, older, age, ageing, aged, growing old, getting old, mutton dressed as lamb, euphemisms, implied, implication, flatter, flattery, golddigger, gold-digger, taking advantage, club, clubs, clubbing, date, dates, dated, word play, play on words, word-play
"Be honest – is my pouch starting to sag?"
Sales of Viagra
Tags:pharma, pharmaceutical, pharmaceuticals, medication, medicate, medicated, medications, pill, pills, tablet, tablets, sexual health, age, ageing, graph, graphs, bar chart, chart, charts, visual gag, bar charts, sales, sales chart, sales graph, sell, marketing, marketting, brand, brands, branding, men's health, mens health
"You're six years old Jason. When I was your age I was eight?"
"Will you still love me when I've metamorphosed into a hideous winge insect?"
Tags:caterpillar, caterpillars, butterfly, butterflies, metamorphosed, metamorphosis, metamorphoses, change, changed, aging, age, growing old together, growing old, changing appearances, love, relationship, relationships, long term relationship, long term relationships, insecure, insecurity, insecurities
"And another thing. When they start telling you 'You've still got it,' you don't."
"Did you leave your bag unattended or trade your cow for magic beans?"
Tags:airport, airports, airport security, nothing to declare, contraband, contraband items, aeroplane, aeroplanes, aiplane, airplanes, travel, travelling, travellers, customs, border control, border protection, jack and the beanstalk, giant beanstalk, jack and the giant beanstalk, jack and the magic beanstalk, fairy tale, fairy tales, unattended luggage, unattended bag, unattended bags, unattended baggage, luggage, bag, bags, bagg, security guard, security guards, age, hold luggage, cabin luggage, law enforcement, law enforcer, federal law enforcement, illegal item, illegal items, smuggling, smuggler, accident, accidental, mistake, biologicals, banned biologicals, agricultural permit, agricultural permits
"Another birthday. I feel like a dinosaur."
"Mr. Coughlin over there was the founder of one of the ﬁrst motorcycle gangs"
"How old is a Major?"
Tags:major, majors, military rank, military ranks, officer, officers, age, age gap, age gaps, dating, date, dates, stupid question, stupid questions, silly question, silly questions, dumb blonde, dumb blondes, steroetypes, stereotypes, gender stereotype, gender stererotypes, naive, ingenue, 1940s high society, 1940s, vintage, vintage cartoon, vintage cartoons
"Nathan just realized that he's fast approaching he 47th anniversary of his bar mitzvah."
Tags:age, ageing, getting on, getting old, getting older, bar mitzvah, bnai mitzvah, b'nai mitzvah, coming of age, jewish celebration, jewish celebrations, coming of age ceremony, coming of age ceremonies, existential crisis, existential crises, anniversary, anniversary, bar mitzvahs, old person, old people
"When I was young I needed drugs to feel weird. Now, I need drugs to feel normal."
Tags:drug, drug use, drug user, drug users, pharmaceutical, pharmaceuticals, pharmaceutical industry, medication, medications, medicate, medicates, medicating, ssri, ssris, depression, mood disorder, mood disorders, mood, moods, personality disorder, personality disorders, psychiatrist, psychiatrists, psychiatry, psychology, psychologist, psychologists, drug abuse, drug abuser, drug abusers, change, changes, changing, grow old, grows old, growing old, grow up, grows up, growing up, age, ages, aging, ageing, too much coffee man
"I'll have a nice day when I get damn good and ready."
"You need a transplant, but there are very few good parts for middle-aged women."
Tags:transplant, transplants, organ transplant, organ transplants, organ donor, organ donors, organ donation, role, roles, acting, actor, actors, actress, actresses, middle age, middle-aged women, audition, auditions, auditioning, glass ceiling, hollywood, age, ages, ageing, medical advice, good part, good parts, good role, good roles, older women
'I'm afraid your lifestyle has caught up with my body.'
"Denial, by Beverley."
Tags:perfume, perfumes, perfume counter, perfume counters, cologne, colognes, scent, scents, smell, smells, smelling, deny, denies, denying, in denial, age, ages, ageing, aging, grow old, grows old, growing old, stay young, stays young, fountain of youth, marketing, marketing angle, marketing angles, marketing gimmick, marketing gimmicks, perfume industry, perfume industries
"Last night my mom made us watch an old comedy with cary grant. He's funny, but he's no Adam Sandler."
Bill and his pet tortoise
"In my ad, I lied about my age."