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"I don't know. What do you want to do?"
The Birth of an Air Traffic Controller
'Where's air traffic control?'
Believe me VHT=003. You are too low!!
Air traffic controllers, as always, cool, calm and collected.
'I thought patchy, not striped fog was predicted for today.'
"Phew! I narrowly avoided a near miss!"
Hair traffic controller.
'... Another software engineer!? - For God's sake woman, put him in a holding pattern...'
'The crisis in air traffic control must be worse than I thought'
"I'm an air traffic controller. Please don't ask 'What's up?'"
"Height and position? I'm six foot tall and in the pilot's seat."
Air traffic controllers AGM
" The 747 from New York I've just spent the last half hour trying to land was a bluebottle."
Air traffic controller mistakes insect for airplane.
'Flight 437 be advised that due to computer failure we no longer have you on radar. However, for some reason, we seem to be following you on Twitter!'
'Check on Olson - looks like he nodded off again.'
'JetBlue 171, I think my dad said you are clear for takeoff...'
'Moon Jumper One, you are entering restricted Christmas airspace. ABORT!;
Something To Declare. - "Air safety is a problem and our food is overpriced..."
'Having a zillion Santa's helpers on the ground is fine, but when they all take to the air, it's an air traffic nightmare.'
'Have you ever noticed how none of the air controllers cars are parked straight?'
A prang of pilots
Air traffic controller asks 'what's up?'
'Would you circle the airport again, please?'