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"It's been nice talking to you, but I should probably get back to staring blankly ahead."
"If you are travelling with small children or if you just need a little extra time, we invite you to board the aircraft at this time."
Jones or Best Offer
"...And lastly, do not block the aisle when being dragged off the plane!"
"Looks like everybody brought their own lawyer."
Airliner passenger sees mechanic reading book on how to repair the engines.
'I saved 10 minutes at the hotel with speedy checkout, 10 minutes at the car rental with instant check in. Now I'm spending 6 hours on the runway.'
"If we're planning to fly, you'll need a more serious diet."
Haves and Have Nots.
"You shouldn't have stopped to go to the bathroom, sir - you were late claiming your luggage, so we raffled it off."
Carry-on luggage must fit through here. Passengers must be able to fit through here.
"You have luggage? - Oh, we don't do LUGGAGE any more."
"So did you tell him to stop kicking the back of your seat?"
Airline scan reveals peanut butter sandwich.