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"Ulrich, that's bad science and you know it!"
Tags:witch, witches, wizard, wizards, cauldron, cauldrons, alchemy, alchemist, alchemists, potion, potions, spell, spells, magic, magic spell, magic spells, scientist, scientists, test, tests, testing, scientific method, sorcerer, sorcerers, sorcery, science, know better, knows better, quack, quacks
"I want you to switch from alchemy and shape-shifting to job creation."
Tags:wizard, wizards, merlin, magician, magicians, alchemy, alchemist, alchemists, king, kings, royal, royals, royality, government, governments, dictator, dictators, dictatorship, inexperience, inexperienced, unemployment, unemployment issues, unemployment crisis, shape shifting, shape shifter, shape shifter, shape-shifting, shape-shifter, shape-shifters, unqualified, under-qualified, under qualified, bad leadership, reshuffles, reshuffle cabinet reshuffle, cabinet reshuffles, reshuffling, cabinet reshuffling
"Hold on though... 'to unlock the complete incantation... download potions pro?'"
Tags:witches, witch, cauldron, cauldrons, spell, spells, incantation, incantations, magic, alchemy, alchemists, potion, potions, magic potion, magic potions, magic spell, magic spells, smartphone, smartphones, smart phone, smart phones, smart device, smart devices, tablet, tablets, app, apps, applications, application, software, update, updates, os, os update, operating system, in app purchase, in app purchases, upgrade, upgrades, forced upgrade, forced upgrades, modern life, digital life, phone problems, smartphone problems
'Better than changing lead into gold, I've transmitted dihydreic alcohol and terephalic acid into polyester.'
'You have a machine that transmutes iron to gold?'
"He's done it your majesty! He's turned lead into a screenplay!"
Tags:screenplay, screenplays, screen writer, screen writers, screenwriter, screenwriters, alchemy, alchemist, alchemists, wizard, wizards, magician, magicians, film industry, the film industry, movie industry, the movie industry, bad idea, bad ideas, producer, producers, movie producer, movie producers, film producer, film producers, king, kings, royal, royals, royalty
"Well, the sooner we get all this lead turned into gold, the sooner we can go home."
Tags:science, sciences, scientists, modern science, modern physics, modern biology, modern chemistry, nuclear, biology, physical sciences, natural science, natural sciences, professor, professors, scientific, discovery, discoveries, alchemy, alchemist, alchemists, heory, theoretical, theories, scientific theory, gold, into gold, lead into gold, unattainable, stupid, stupidity, lab, labs, laboratory
"I don't know, it's just the whole Dark Ages thing. It's got me down."
Tags:dark ages, wizard, wizards, magician, magicians, alchemist, alchemists, alchemy, therapist, therapists, therapy, shrink, shrinks, psychiatrist, psychiatrists, psychiatry, psychologist, psychologists, psychology, potion, potions, medieval period, middle ages, medieval age, unsophisticated, culture, depression, depressed, mental health, mental state
"Professor Case, your longevity studies are just awesome."
Tags:eternal life, longevity, longevity studies, scientist, scientists, scientific breakthrough, scientific breakthroughs, lab, labs, laboratory, laboratories, scientific discovery, long life, eternal youth, philosopher stone, philosopher's stone, philosophers stone, alchemy, alchemist, alchemists, professor, professors
"After all these years, I'm sure of only one thing: when I heat the liquid, it boils."
"I'm attempting to transmute calcium oxide, copper gluconate, manganese sulfate, tyrosine and benzaldehyde into condensed soup."
"Hey - no hexes on my experiment."
Medieval Peer Review: "Whose experiments are the fairest of all?"
"First I'll change gold into lead, then I'll do it backwards."
Johann Joachim Becher
"Unfortunately this lab is funded only by as much gold as we can make from lead."
"He has a little place in the basement where he's trying to transmute amethysts into antibiotics."
Tags:alchemist, alchemists, alchemy, chemists, chemistry, pseudoscientists, pseudoscience, lab, labs, laboratories, transmutation, transmutations, pharmaceutical, pharmaceuticals, pharmacies, chemist, pseudoscientist, transmute, laboratory, pharmaceutical company, antibiotic, pharmaceutical companies
"Is it gold yet?"
"Sure, we need more research in alchemy, necromancy, and sorcery, but where is the money going to come from?"
Tags:alchemy, alchemist, alchemists, fund, funds, funding, research, researcher, researchers, medical research, study, studies, scientific study, academic, academics, academia, benefactor, benefactors, necromancy, sorcery, quack, quacks, magic, magician, magicians, academic fund, academic funding, scientific study, scientific studies, medicine, fiction, fictional, fictions
"Science fraud? What do I do that isn't science fraud?"
Tags:alchemist, chemist, pseudoscience, science fraud, scientific fraud, scientist, scientists, fraud, frauds, science frauds, chemists, alchemists, alchemy, wizard, wizards, fraudster, fraudsters, academic, academics, academia, scientific discovery, scientific discoveries, ethics, ethics board, ethics panel
"I know this is all nonsense , but that's the paradigm I'm stuck with."
"But until I do transmute lead into gold, maybe I could interest you in some lovely lead jewelry."
"Caltonia says you plagiarized his incantation for changing tin into platinum."
'Unfortunately this lab is funded only by as much gold as we can make from lead.'
"The Food and Drug Administration doesn't care anymore."
Tags:pharmacist, pharmacy, pharmacies, chemist, chemists, food and drug administration, fda, prescription, prescriptions, drug store, drug stores, regulations, regulation, government regulation, government regulations, alchemy, alchemist, alchemists, quack, quacks, quack medicine, quack medicines, wizard, wizards, wizardry, magician, magicians, disease, diseases, illness, illnesses