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'A pint! Have you got any ID?'
"Amber alert... it's a new drinking app."
'I said to recite the alphabet. You may not google it!'
"I've got an app that tells me how much I've drank."
"You're my first patient who lists their blood type as, sauvignon blanc."
"...'Blow into that tube'?...I don't think I've seen this trick before, officer."
'Beer is 90% water, so as long as I leave over 10% I can have all I want.'
'He doesn't actually drink much. He spills most of it!'
'Yeah, yeah, yeah; two years in French oak; warm days; cool summer nights. What the heck's the alcohol level?'
"I haven't completely abstained, but I only drink in moderation these days."
Bobsleigh Sobriety Test
"And how much do you drink?"
"I've invested all my resources into whisky. I mean, where else could you get 43%?"