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'The wife and I have decided to nominate our weekly drink-free days as tomorrow and the day after tomorrow.'
"How many units of alcohol do you kid yourself that you consume weekly?"
'If wine is 85% water, as long as I leave over 15%, I guess I can drink all I want.'
"I am allowing you one glass of wine per day."
"And how much do you drink?"
"I'm off, I only popped in for a swift three units."
"It says here that having a glass of wine is good for you."
"...So nine church services a week, two sips of altar wine per service... Do you know how many units that is?!"
"Alright mate? Fancy popping out later for a couple of units?"
"It's Judas. . . 5 units. . . he's exceeded his daily alcohol allowance!"
"Well, he does have a point - it doesn't mention a maximum recommended daily allowance of alcohol for children."
"Wine is good for you in moderation, so I named my goblet 'Moderation.'"
"Hang on! - How many units is in that...??"