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Sacrifices at 4:00PM and 6:00PM
Tags:demon, demons, devil, devils, sacrifice, sacrifices, sacrificing, museum, museums, artifact, artifacts, effigy, effigies, statue, statues, altar, altars, idol, idols, religious imagery, religions, beast, the beast, wicked, satanist, satanism, doom, doomed, horror, scary, fear, fears, visiting hours, visitor hours, offering, offerings
"Must I sacrifice family for career?"
Tags:religious, religions, religious imagery, religious figures, abraham, father abraham, the story of abraham, sacrifice, sacrificing, sacrificial, altar, altars, career, careers, careerist, careerism, following orders, bible, the bible, bible story, bible stories, biblical, old testament, parent, parents, parental, parenting, father, fathers, fatherhood, dad, dads, genesis, isaac, child, kid, kids, family, work life balance, work/life balance, the binding of isaac, binding of isaac, family, culture, culture clash, shpasik, jtoons
"Stop me if you've heard this one before."
Tags:religion, religious, religious imagery, pulpit, pulpits, church, churches, religions, preach, preaching, preacher, preachers, preached, pastor, pastors, priest, priests, sermon, sermons, story, long, long and boring, boring, bore, bored, heard this, heard before, repeat, repeated, repetitive, irony, ironic, ironically, sunday, christian, christianity, altar, congregation, communication, communicate, storytelling, skill, skills
'It's a bit of a long shot, but it might just work.'
"I wonder why we're not getting any new converts."
Tags:religion, religions, religious, convert, converts, conversion, pagan, altar, altars, blood, bloody, skull, skulls, scary, threatening, sacrifice, sacrifices, human sacrifice, human sacrifices, new converts, new convert, priest, priests, tribal, problem, problems, attracting, attraction, unattractive, violent
"All we can do is continue offering sacrifices and hope its magic power will return."
Tags:cave, caveman, prehistory, prehistoric, pre historic, pre-historic, pre-history, cavemen, neanderthal, neanderthals, homo sapien, homo sapiens, homo erectus, early man, early men, stone age, stone-age, stone ages, stone-ages, dark age, dark-age, iron age, iron ages, bronze age, bronze ages, sacrifice, sacrifices, sacrificial, time travel, tech, technological, clash, culture clash, offering, offerings, altar, altars, magic, magical
"For richer, for poorer, in sickness and health, retroactive to the very first day you began living together?"
Maybe they were right. Maybe she was just after his money.
Lead, Follow or get on the Altar.
"I'm sorry Jayne, but I've got cold feet."
Henry struggles with not peeking to see who responds to the altar call.
"Hey Mom, I caught Satan!"
Tags:altar, jesus, god, altar call, alatar calls, biblical, bible, church, churches, sunday school, sunday schools, pastor, pastors, preacher, preachers, prayer, prayers, pray, praying, prays, tithe, missionary, missions, satan, devil, snake, snakes, serpent, serpents, old testament, genesis, lucifer, fallen angel
"Great deal or not, the new choir robes go back."
Tags:altar, jesus, god, altar call, biblical, bible, church, churches, the bible, sunday school, sunday schools, pastor, pastors, preacher, preachers, prayer, prayers, pray, prays, tithe, tithes, tithing, missionary, missions, choir, choirs, choral group, choral groups, church choir, choir robes, choir robe, bargain, bargains, good deal, good deals, great deal, great deals, sale, sales, bargain, bargains
Harold stares at people he thinks the sermon is pertiment to.
Tags:altar, jesus, god, altar call, biblical, bible, church, churches, judgment, judgement, sitting in judgement, sitting in judgment, hypocrite, hypocrites, hypocrisy, hypocritical, sin, sins, sinner, sinners, sinning, stare, stares, staring, glare, glares, glaring, sunday school, pastor, preacher, prayer, pray, tithe, missionary, missions, sermon, service, judgemental
Dead man walking...
'The response is 'I do.' Not 'Whatever she says.''
Tags:marry, marries, married, marriage, marriages, wed, weds, wedding, weddings, altar, altars, priest, priests, doormat, doormats, door mat, door mats, response, responses, respond, responds, responding, responded, vicar, vicars, church, churches, vow, vows, promise, promises, promising, the flying mccoys, flying mccoys
'To have and to hold, in sickness and in health, 'till Sarah finds out what happened that night at Ted's house last November do you part?'
'Relax honey, I've done this dozens of times.'
'Before we start, let me just say how much we all appreciate your help in ensuring the success of this government funded, faith-based initiative.'
'Father, I want to be a seal.'
"Dearly beloved - We gather today to honor the life of the greatest magician of our time."
Vicar shouting in front of the altar: 'Altar Ego.'
Lookalike to man: 'Pastor, I came up to confess to identity theft.'
'What do you mean; 'The Weatherman said not to make any unnecessary journeys?!'
'Is this a trick question?'