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"On the plus side, you've cured my back pain."
Jesus's First and Less-Heralded Miracle Walk,
Tags:acupuncture, acupressure, acupuncture point, acupuncture points, acupressure point, acupressure points, sore point, sore points, alternative medicine, alternative therapy, alternative therapies, complimentary therapy, complimentary therapies, sore, pain, touch, dont touch, painful, cause pain, hurt, hurts, hurting, inaccurate, pun, puns, wordplay, play on words
"Okay, Jaxcsunn, stay still in the crystal circle while I douse you in essential oils."
Tags:essential oil, essential oils, medical research, medical researcher, medical researchers, medical science, medical scientist, medical scientists, medical advance, medical advancement, medical advancements, mother, mothers, motherhood, pseudoscience, pseudoscientist, pseudeoscientist, pseudo-scientist, pseudo-scientists, pseudosciences, aromatherapy, aromatherapist, aromatherapists, hippy, hippies, aromatherapies, hipster, hipsters, alternative medicine, quack, quacks, modern life, modern motherhood
'...instead of giving him morphine for his kidney stones, they are testing the healing power of laughter.'
'I was thinking acupuncture might cure his laziness. . .'
'You the guy who asked for the least expensive generic alternative?'
"The health care provider will see you now."
"I curse the day I ever heard of Ginkgo Biloba."
"Milt, I'm beginning to think that you illness is a disharmony of life energy."
'With these alternative fertility treatments you never quite know how things turn out,'
"Because when it actually works they just call it medicine."
Tags:medicine, medicines, medication, medications, alternative medicine, alternative medicines, holistic medicine, holistic medicines, holistic naturopathic wellness, homeopathy, homeopathic, quackery, quack medicines, quack medicine, healthcare, health care, health shop, health store, grocery shop, grocery store, shopping, shop, shops, sceptical, scepticism, skeptical, skepticism
"This might sting a little."
Tags:experimental, experiment, experiments, bee, bees, bee sting, bee stings, play on words, word play, wordplay, alternative medicine, doctor, doctors, general practitioner, general practitioners, medical check up, medical check ups, hospital, hospitals, doctors appointment, doctors appointments, doctor's appointment, doctor's appointments, physician, physicians
"Instead of an expensive, invasive procedure, we've decided to beat it out of you."
Tags:medical treatment, medical treatments, invasive treatment, invasive treatments, procedure, procedures, medical procedure, medical procedures, healthcare, health cover, doctor, doctors, medicine, intelligence agent, beating, beatings, beating up, beaten up, beat up, beats up, alternative medicine, alternative healthcare, quack, quacks
'It appears to be a side effect of those herbal eye drops you've been using.'
Alternative Medicine. Group Hug.
"I have no objection to alternative medicine so long as traditional medical fees are scrupulously maintained."
Tags:medical, doctors, hospitals, science, pseudo, money, psychology, greed, ethics, alternative medicine, traditional medicine, western medicine, doctor, doctors, medical fee, medical fees, american healthcare, american health care, for-profit healthcare, conflict of interest, conflicts of interest, medical bill, medical bills, mankoff
'Our staff is highly skilled mam, but getting your husband to grow a backbone is simply beyond our expertise.'
"Believe me, the more of us who walk upright the more of us will need chiropractors."
Tags:history, historical, pre-history, pre-historical, prehistory, prehistorical, stone age, bc, b.c., before christ, paleolithic, palaeolithic, cave-dweller, cave-dwellers, cavemen, caveman, neanderthal, neanderthals, early humans, walking upright, chiropractor, chiropractors, chiropractics, alternative medicine, doctor, doctors, clinic, clinics, health, fitness, back pain, medical, medicine
"He said he couldn't help me unless I hurt all over."
Tags:holistic, holism, whole, wholeness, acupuncture, alternative medicine, doctor, doctors, nurse, massage therapy, psychotherapy, psychology, psychiatry, mental health, medical center, medical centers, medical centre, medical centres, hospital, hospitals, patient, patients, treatment, medical humour, medical humor, word play
'Sleep on your stomach.'
The Chiropractor - 'I've been looking forward to this all week!'