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"I'd give my right arm to play the violin like you do, Mr. Bolenska."
Tags:violin, violins, violinist, violinists, orchestra, orchestras, envy, envies, envious, enviousness, classical, classical music, musician, musicians, amputees, amputate, amputates, wish, wishes, wishing, jealous, jealousy, admire, admires, admiring, admiration, right arm, right arms, expression, expressions, literal, literal interpretation, literal interpretations, fan, fans, fan girl, fan girls
Soldier playing hopscotch with a grenade
Tags:soldier, soldiers, grenade, grenades, army, armies, military, militaries, amputations, amputate, amputated, amputating, amputates, amputating, purple heart, medal, medals, wound, wounded, wounds, wounded in battle, battles, weapon, weapons, weaponry, play, plays, playing, played, hopscotch, game, games
'He's a specialist,,, And he assures us that he tried everything - but the leg just couldn't be saved,'
"Nooo. Not my legs."
Employees must wash hands.
Tags:hand, hands, employees must wash hands, bathroom, bathrooms, toilet, toilets, sign, signs, clean, cleans, cleaning, cleanliness, employee, employees, hygiene, hygienic, unhygienic, condition, conditions, toilet, toilets, toilet break, toilet breaks, potty break, potty breaks, bathroom break, bathroom breaks, dismember, dismembers, dismembering, dismemberment, amputations, amputate, amputates, amputating, letter of the law
Cat with a pegleg
Tags:cat, cats, fish, cat owner, cat owners, cat people, cat persons, cat lovers, cat lovers, carnivorous fish, carnivore, carnivores, carnivorous, pegleg, peglegs, amputate, amputates, amputated, amputating, ate, eat, eats, eating, food, opposite, opposite reaction, opposite result, unexpected results, unexpected results
Four Legs Good, Two Legs Bad - Three Legs OK: Bloomin Middle Ground Politics.
'I accidentally removed his right hand, but to keep him balanced, I removed his left foot, free of charge.'
Man has his fingers taken off by a hand dryer.
"You'll need this stick."
'He still doesn't know how serious an amputation he's had, nurse, so try not to act too shocked.'
Being footloose and fancy-free wasn't much fun.
I have learned how to solve most of these Sharpei dermatological problems...
Woman has her arm cut off at opening ceremony
Tags:opening, opening ceremony, opening ceremonies, woman, women, amputate, amputates, amputating, amputations, amputated, cut, cuts, cutting, giant scissor, giant scissors, scissor, scissors, giant stationery, stationery, tape, tapes, taping, taped, fix, fixed, fixing, fixes, ceremony, celebrate, celebrations, celebration, celebrating, celebrates, celebrated
'Hmm...Nurse, bring me my chainsaw.'
A snowman missing his base begs for change.
Tags:amputees, amputations, amputate, amputates, sled, sleds, snow, snows, snowy, winter, winters, winter weather, beggar, beggars, begging, beg, begs, panhandle, panhandles, panhandling, panhandler, panhandlers, homeless, homelessness, homeless person, homeless people, unfortunate, less fortunate, charity, charities, charitable donation, charitable donations, donation, donations, donor, donors
"I used to have tattoos. They're a lot easier to get than to have removed."
Hand Dryer Out of Order.
"Your husband is gonna pull through. But we were, um, unable to save one of his legs. Yeah, that's it."
Tags:doctor, doctors, biscuit, biscuits, gingerbread, ginger bread, nurse, surgeons, surgeon, operation, operations, operating room, operating rooms, patient, patients, eat, eats, eating, greedy, sweet tooth, sweet tooths, medical, medicine, surgery, elective, amputate, amputates, amputees, dessert, desserts, pudding, puddings, sweets, bread, breads, cakes, cakes, stuffed
"The good news is we were able to save your leg..."
Following an especially difficult divorce.
"Those government guidelines are sharp!"
Juggler loses his arm.
'I made the turn at second base and heard a 'pop' in my knee... Is it serious?'
Tags:baseball, base ball, injury, injuries, sports injury, sports injuries, injured, leg, legs, pop, pops, popping, popped, knee, knees, broken leg, broken legs, snap, snaps, snapped, snapping, separate, separates, separated, amputate, amputates, amputated, lose, loses, lost, in the bleachers, bleachers, in the bleachers
'I'm afraid we've removed your wooden leg by mistake.'