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Shrinks in heaven
'I'm sensing you may still have some boundary issues.'
'I'm sorry, but I think you should find a new analyst... your dreams are just too boring for me.'
"This is not going to help my Messianic complex, doctor."
Tags:messiah, messiahs, messianic complex, messianic complexes, doctor, doctors, psychiatrist, psychiatrists, psychiatrics, treatment, treatments, psychologist, psychologists, psychology, analyst, analysts, psychoanalysis, worship, worships, worshiping, worshipping, reverse psychology, kiss the ring, kisses the ring, kissing the ring
"Well, you certainly solved your little Oedipus problem since I saw you last."
Tags:therapy, therapist, psychiatrist, psychiatrists, psychiatry, shrink, shrinks, mental health, analyst, analysts, psychotherapy, psychology, psychoanalysis, headshrinker, headshrinkers, therapy session, therapy sessions, patient, patients, oedipus, oedipal complex, oedipal, sigmund freud, freud, sophocles, antigone, greek tragedy, greek tragedies, greek theatre, theatre, theatres, theater, theaters, play, plays
'I'm still having self-loathing issues... today I un-friended myself...'
'Life isn't fair! Most of the stuff I worried about over the years never even happened!'
"I never discuss my clients with their mothers."
Tags:mom, moms, mum, mums, mother, mothers, client, clients, client privilege, client privacy, client confidentiality, confidentiality, confidential, privacy, private, lawyer, lawyers, counselor, counselors, counsellor, counsellors, attorney, attorneys, barrister, barrister, solicitor, solicitors, accountant, accountants, financial advisor, financial advisors, bookkeeping, bookkeepers, bookkeeper, therapy, therapist, counseling, counselor, shrink, shrinks, analyst, analysts, psychiatry, counsellor, counsellors
"Hi. My name is Jonathan, and I'll be your analyst today."
Tags:therapist, therapists, therapy, patient, patients, analyst, analysts, psycho, psychoanalyst, psyhoanalysts, obeserves, observing, observation, observations, watch, watches, watching, evaluate, evaluates, evaluating, behaviour, behaviours, behavior, behaviors, mannerism, mannerisms, consult, consultation, consultations
Despite recent uncertainty, analysts said today they will continue to make predictions.
"My goodness, Marion. Our dishes are so spotless, I can see deep within my hollow, tormented soul!"
Tags:unhappy marriage, unhappy marriages, unhappy, misery, miserable, depressed, depression, depressing, clinical depression, reflection, reflections, chore, chores, household chore, household chores, spotless, clean, cleans, cleaning, clean up, cleans up, cleaning up, torment, soul, souls, tormented, plate, plates, washing up, psychology, psychologist, psychologists, psychiatrist, psychiatrists, psychiatry, analysis, analyst, analysts, id, freud, freudian
"I wouldn't call you crazy. But only because nobody uses that word anymore."
Tags:political correctness, politically correct, insane, insanity, crazy, therapist, therapists, psychologist, psychologists, psychology, terminology, term, terms, newfangled, insult, insults, insulting, mentally ill, mental illness, psychiatrist, psychiatrists, psychiatry, analyst, analysts, psychoanalysis, psychoanalyst, psychoanalysts, mental health, mental health problem, mental health problems
'Our sabermetrics guy has confirmed that last year's team that went 60-102 was bad.'
Psychoses on tape
Tags:therapy, therapist, psychiatrist, psychiatrists, psychiatry, shrink, shrinks, mental health, analyst, analysts, psychotherapy, psychology, psychoanalysis, psychoses, psychosis, professional dedication, dedicated, dedication, workaholic, workaholism, overwork, overworking, overworked, research, professional development
"Legally, I have the right to talk as slowly and boringly about all your options as I want."
Tags:therapy, therapist, psychiatrist, psychiatrists, psychiatry, shrink, shrinks, mental health, analyst, analysts, psychotherapy, psychology, psychoanalysis, headshrinker, headshrinkers, therapy session, therapy sessions, solicitor, solicitors, attorney, attorneys, lawyer, lawyers, barrister, barristers, counsel, counselor, prosecutors, defense attorney, defense attorneys, accountant, accountants, financial advisor, financial advisors, bookkeeping, bookkeepers, bookkeeper, options, choices, advice, advise, advising, advisor, couples, couples counseling, technicality, technicalities, reproductive endocrinologist, reproductive endocrinology, fertility, fertility clinic, infertility, slow, slowly, slowpoke, slowpokes
'But then again...we could be wrong.'
"We will MAKE the problem fit out solution."
Tags:humanitarian aid, cartoonathon, humanitarian work, problem, problems, solution, solutions, solve, solves, problem solver, problem solvers, assumption, assumptions, assume, assumes, assuming, square peg, round hole, fix, fixes, quick fix, quick fixes, predetermined, analysis, analyze, analyzing, analyse, analysing, analyst, analysts, closeminded, narrowminded, close-minded, narrow-minded
"I can't stop conducting random security checks."
Tags:therapy, therapist, psychiatrist, psychiatrists, psychiatry, shrink, shrinks, mental health, analyst, analysts, psychotherapy, psychology, psychoanalysis, headshrinker, headshrinkers, therapy session, therapy sessions, patient, patients, security, security guard, security guards, tsa, tsa agents, tsa agent, fbi, f.b.i., agent, agents, confession, confess, work life balance, brining work home, workaholic, workaholics, workaholism
'The mean age of our visitor is 50. It seems like when they turn 50 they get mean.'
'Whatever it is, I didn't do it.'
"But if I'm not a senior collateral analyst for a high-volume, global marketing corporation...who am I?"
"You said a moment ago that everybody you look at seems to be a rabbit. Now just what do you mean by that, Mrs. Sprague?"
"I used to be a hunter, I was just transferred to accounts payable."
Tags:primitive man, primitive men, stone age, stone ages, hunter, hunters, job, jobs, job transfer, job transfers, departmental transfers, departmental transfer, unhappy, reminisce, reminiscing, accounts, accountant, accountants, accounts payable, business, businesses, ap, supplier, suppliers, debt, debts, miserable, misery, ap department, accounts payable department, analyst, analyses, analysts, analysis, data, data analysis, datum, data analyses