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'I miss Andy Rooney!'
'It's a project to develop a stamp mucilage that tastes like beef stew.. it's funded by Andy Rooney.'
Andy Rooney: 'Ever wonder how it might affect your legacy if you get a lot internet credit for stuff you never said?'
'My husband isn't home, but he thinks whatever Andy Rooney thinks.'
'We named him after Andy Rooney because of his irritating whine.'
'Andy Rooney is off this week, so we now present a few minutes with the producer's whining brother-in-law....'
'Your father used to want a night out with the boys, but now he's satisfied with a few minutes with Andy Rooney.'
'I've added up all the 'few minutes,' and as of today, you've spent six solid weeks with Andy Rooney.'
'I must be getting old -- Andy Rooney is beginning to make sense.'
'Andy Rooney is off this week, so we now present 'A Few Minutes with Oscar the Grouch'....'
'Good evening. Andy Rooney is off tonight, and I'm your annoying next-door neighbor....'